Â鶹ԼÅÄ

This Trollope parody was originally contributed to the Fantasy Archers topic of the Archers

"My lord!"

Bishop Cyril started at his wife's voice, for although to the world he appeared a successful man, in all matters arising within the Palace at Felpersham, his lady exercised a despotic rule.

"My dear," he responded tentatively.

"I was saying, my lord", rejoined Mrs Proudie, "that it high time you made an appointment to the living of Ambridge".

"Indeed, you are right as always, my dear", said the Bishop, "I was indeed even now reflecting on the suitability of Mr Quiverful for that position; such a suitable name for that parish", he continued with a hint of jocularity.

Seeing the expression which crossed Mrs Proudie's features, Bishop Cyril continued hastily, "He is a local man, with a good knowledge of country matters, well thought of, and..."

Here the Bishop was seized with inspiration, for he had thought of an Issue with which to placate his lady, who was much given to such matters, and continued, "His many children will help to arrest the decline in pupils in rural schools".

"An old matter," replied Mrs Proudie with some scorn. "In the case of Ambridge, we need to adopt a missionary zeal"

Bishop Cyril's trials with the previous incumbent at Ambridge had convinced him that there was no need to introduce anything further of a missionary nature to the parish, but since he managed to keep most of that from Mrs Proudie's ears, he contented himself with commenting,

"I had always observed an extraordinary degree of church attendance in Ambridge, my dear".

"Yes, and straight from church to the public house or the shop, which is open upon the Sabbath", exclaimed Mrs Proudie. We need more than bell ringing and funding raising at the Summer Fayre; we need an incumbent who will take a direct approach with these people, someone who will always be on the scene. We must engage in relevant issues and look forward if you are to hopes of promotion, my lord".

There beat in Bishop Cyril's breast, a certain ambition for the See of Canterbury, and he declined further resistance.

"I believe, my dear, that you have someone in mind?"

"Why, my lord, we have the very man here. My chaplain, the Reverend Mr Franks!"

The Bishop knew all was lost.