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Listeners' Fantasies |
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Wedding of the Year
by Early Closing
 Keen for a sneak preview of Borchester Life's write-up of Julia's wedding? Look no further than the Fantasy Archers topic of The Archers message board.
Former stars of stage and screen mingled with familiar faces from the local fatstock shows in the glorious grounds of Borsetshire's most stately home last month for the wedding of Mr Lewis Nice and Mrs Julia Pargetter, star of London's post-war West End.
More than 200 guests heard the happy couple exchange vows in front of family and friends before dancing the evening away to the Tommy Croker Quartet.
The bride wore an ivory silk two-piece and carried a posy of lilies of the valley, rosebuds and stephanotis. The best man was Mr Nigel Pargetter (son of the bride) who stepped into the breach after the unavoidable absence of the groom's oldest friend. Mr Pargetter wore a sailor suit and carried a balloon on a stick.
The ceremony included the reading of a Native American love poem "May your juices mingle under the stars" by the bride's sister, who had travelled from Torremolinos for the occasion. The reading was interrupted when one of the guests suffered a heart attack and had to be rushed to Borchester General Hospital. The condition of 92-year-old Mr Tommy Twinkles ("He Fills The Stage With Flags") was later reported as "comfortable".
In his speech, the groom thanked his new son and daughter-in-law for organising the wedding and for welcoming him with such warmth and kindliness. He hoped that he and his new bride would have many, many happy years ahead of them in the heart of his new family. At this point Mrs Elizabeth Pargetter unfortunately choked on a salmon bone and had to be given the Heimlich manoeuvre by her brother in law, Mr Alistair Dullvet.
As the newlyweds left Lower Loxley in a traditional pony and trap supplied by Grundy Transport (No Occasion Too Small), the guests sang a medley of songs from the new Mrs Nice's most famous show, More Salad Days Please, Nanette! and Mr Nigel Pargetter released a flock of doves.
Speaking to the world's media on the lawns of Lower Loxley the following day, Mr Nigel Pargetter defended his actions, saying that no-one could have predicted that the birds would become disoriented by the sunlight shining on the windows and fly straight up into the jet engines of British Airways flight BA1413 from Heathrow to Toronto, causing the tragic accident that claimed the lives of the 350 passengers and crew. Mr Pargetter was later arrested by the police and is currently in Belmarsh Prison, awaiting trial for manslaughter.
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