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Listeners' Fantasies |
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Foiled 'gain
by DebZ
 Another bulletin from Lynda's llama shed, taken from the Fantasy Archers topic of . Constanza has been perhaps a little too inspired by recent events at Grange Farm ...
"Where on earth haf you been?" asked Constanza, a worried look on her face as Wolfgang strolled nonchalantly into the llama shed, "I look for you evereewhere!"
"You nod pud adverd een Borchester Echo I hope?"
Constanza shook her head, whipping the elegant ribbons in her ears around her head, "No."
"Phew! Thad beeg relieve!"
"So where were you?"
"I," said Wolfgang, a misty look in his eyes, "I haf been watcheeng amazeeng feelm of birdees, featureeng some wonderful leetle teets."
"I see," said Constanza, her eyes narrowing and her hoof beginning to tap, apparently of its own accord, "I see."
"Hmm," mused Wolfgang reflectively, " An' then I watch whales…"
"Wales?" puzzled Constanza, (her hoof stopping abruptly), " I nod theenk they een World Cup?"
"Que?" It was Wolfgang's turn to look puzzled. "World Cup? Whad you talkeeng 'boud?"
"Eet foodball competicÃon, apparentlee they haf eet everee four years, see who bess."
"Thees I know - bud Peru nod een eet, an' aneeway whad care I when I watch whales. Eet beeg peety you nod see them, they todallee magnifico!"
"Doubtless," responded a bemused Constanza.
"Si, I watch them weeth Simon an' Kade…"
"They back een Ambreedge?"
"An' Beell."
"µþ±ð±ð±ô±ô…?"
"Si, Beell Odee"
"Ah," all at once Constanza was enlightened, "You watch Spreengwatch and their webcams!"
"Whad you theenk I talkeeng 'boud?"
Swiftly changing the subject, Constanza poured the coffee and invited Wolfgang to partake of a little breakfast. "Would you like some of theese?" she enquired, passing him a plastic container.
"Whad thad?"
"Cornflakes, naturellemente!"
Wolfgang hesitated. "No, juss hoof me marmalade."
"Marmalade," breathed Constanza, expectantly. "Marmalade."
"Yes," replied Wolfgang, eyeing her in a worried fashion.
"Ees there anee theeng else you wan' say to me?"
Wolfgang thought for a few seconds, as he spread a large amount of marmalade on his toast. "Absoludlee deeleecious! Llamamade I bed!" he finally announced.
"You nod haf proposicÃon to make me?" pressed Constanza.
"Weell," began Wolfgang earnestly, " Maybee afder breakfass, we haf look 'round veellage, see eef we can spod deefeerend wildlife - mind you, I doubt we haf much luck weeth badgers either, nod afder Daveed Archer…"
"Oleever and Caroline geddeeng married, " stated Constanza baldly.
"Reallee?" Wolfgang was quite interested. "Reallee..." Wolfgang realised where the conversation was leading.
"Si! Eef you like, you ask Santa Shula be bess man!" suggested Constanza.
"I theenk thad Oleever prefer one of hees amigos, no?"
"'Cos Rosee gonna be my bridesmade! " swept on Constanza.
There was an ominous silence in the llama shed, interrupted only by Wolfgang steadily crunching his toast and - if one could only hear them - the cogs of his mind working furiously.
"No, no," he announced finally, "Thees nod do. When I ask you marree me, eet weell nod be ofer such mundane meal as breakfass. No, you worth more than thees… juss geeve me leetle time to arrange eet all… Now, eef you eggscuse me, I muss hasten up to Lodge, geeve Peggee an' Jack hoof for retirement pardee for Heegs…"
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