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Listeners' Fantasies |
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Efer deecreeseeng circles
Deb Z
 More Ambridge happenings, as viewed from the idiosyncratic perspective of Lynda's llamas and posted to the Fantasy Archers topic of The Archers message board.
The sun was shining brightly and a gentle breeze whispered through the trees.
"Eenfacd," said Wolfgang to himself as he threw open the shed door and took a deep breath of fresh air, "eet almoss spreeng! I theenk momento ees moss propeeceeous."
Diving back into the shed, he found what he needed and went in search of Constanza. He soon spotted her, hanging out some fat balls at the bird table.
"They be makeeng ness soon," she informed Wolfgang as he approached, "then there be lods more beaks feed. Why juss a minuto ago, I see pair of great teets een tree."
"Reallee?" asked Wolfgang, momentarily distracted, "I theenk Bartlebee tell me he take Beth to estacÃon other day..."
Constanza treated this remark with the contempt it deserved.
"I need you help," stated Wolfgang, remembering why he was there.
"Whadamess," sighed Constanza staring into the distance.
"No," said Wolfgang, following her gaze, "eet Hermès. Aneeway ..."
"I mean Ed/Emma/Weell triangle."
"I daresay eet all come oud een wash (whadefer thad mean), bud whad I ..."
"Then there El Seed/Kafé/Joleene triangle ..."
"You mighd say there thad Joleene haf El Seed by shord and Curlee, no?"
"Then of course there Tommee/Kirstee/Kneel ..."
"Triangle."
"Nod to mencÃon Veecar/Heeleen/Usha ..."
"Yes, yes," interrupted Wolfgang impatiently, "now, eef you quide feeneesh talkeeng een triangles ..."
"Naturellemente, one should nod forged donkee."
"Donkee?" Wolfgang was struck speechless at the thought which flashed through his mind.
"Bud si, for serveece ad Darreengton."
Fortunately, before Wolfgang's imagination went into overdrive at thoughts of black magic rites, or worse, on Lakey Hill, Constanza explained further, "for Palm Sunday."
"Ah ha," said Wolfgang, relieved, "you know, eet nod fair. Why he nefer ask me? I could do thees, no problemo. Why eet always donkee?"
Constanza lowered her spectacles and peered over the top of them at him.
"Probablee beecause a time of Jesús, een Paleesteene, they nod yed deescofer llamas?"
"Si, bud eef Chriss lif en Peru, I bed he ride on llama!"
"You mighd weell be righd." Constanza pondered this possibility.
"An’ talkeeng of Peru, I haf absolutlee breelleeant idea!"
Constanza pushed her glasses back up her nose and glared sharply at Wolfgang.
"Juss look ad thees," Wolfgang unfurled the sheet of paper he was holding. "whad you theenk?"
Constanza studied the drawing carefully."Eet look like plan of one of Nazca lines*."
"Correcd!"
"Bud I no comprehend ..." Suddenly enlightenment dawned and Constanza clapped her hoofs in glee. "Oh Wolfgang! Thad ees verree clefer idea!"
"Si," said Wolfgang, simply, "now we muss ged starded eef we to beat Brian Aldreedge an’ Adam Maycee. So eef you like help me fetch ladder ..."
***
"Hokay," shouted Wolfgang from atop the stepladder, "now you take ten paces een circle, an’ then I ..." He bounded down, "...I pland seeds, so an’ so." He suited action to words and then returned to his perch."Now then you make ‘nother twelf paces due wess ..."
"There muss be easier way do thees ..." sighed Constanza wearily, "I beegeen feell like poor Jack Woollee, wandereeng aimlesslee ‘round. An’ there nod efen bench to seet on ..."
*
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