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Listeners' Fantasies |
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Bess birthday efer
by DebZ
 Brenda wasn't the only one planning a birthday surprise, as shown in this contribution to the Fantasy Archers topic of .
"To the atteec!" cried Wolfgang, like a latter day Mrs Ramsay as he thrust open the door to the llama shed.
Constanza looked up from her clipboard, over which she had been poring with a look of intense concentration on her face.
"We doan haf atteec," she pointed out.
"Catastrophe!" exclaimed Wolfgang, "Where weell I find some theengs for lovlee, blond Shula's table top sale?"
"You are nod takeeng my dinneng room table to sell!"
"Doan bee stupida - eet nod sale to sell table tops, eet sale of theengs on table top."
"Nor are you haffeeng sald an' pepper pod!"
"Hombre!" Wolfgang clapped one hoof to his forehead, "Eet breeng an' buy sale."
"Eenfacd eet jumbo sale, no?"
"No, no, no, thees much more, more…more civeelised."
"Huh," returned Constanza, a look of profound disbelief on her face.
"Eet to raise funds for creecked club," explained Wolfgang, "An' lovlee, blond Shula ees organiseeng eet all." He sighed.
"I theenk thad alreadee done. Whad was all thees pancake mallarkee all 'boud?"
"Thad nod eenough. We onlee make eightee pounds - thad hardlee cover eequeepment for whole team."
"You should be able buy evereebodee box," Constanza allowed herself a small giggle, "thad should cover evereebodee's eessenteeal eequieement, no?"
"I nod talkeeng to you eef you gonna bee sillee. I go an' see eef Leenda an' Roberto haf aneetheeng worth takeeng."
"Thad's right - you go haf rummage through Leenda's drawers!" sniggered Constanza.
"I weell nod be requeereeng anee supper," announced Wolfgang, opening the door.
"There no need to sulk!"
"I nod sulkeeng - eet juss I ead so manee pancakes, I nod hungree. Nod ad momento, aneeway."
"Hokay, as you weesh, eet onlee soup aneeway."
"Soup?"
"Si, I nod haf time do aneetheeng more complicado. I verree busee - there onlee seex weeks go."
"Seex weeks?" Shutting the door, Wolfgang consulted the calendar on the wall. He gave a sudden gasp of horror. "Constanza, you doan mean you parentes come viseet us for Easter 'gain?"
"Que? No, een seex weeks time there much more importante eevend!"
"You able to ead chocolade once more?"
Constanza ignored him. "On feeth Apreel we celebrade four years een Ambreedge!"
"You theenk thad worth celebradeeng?" asked Wolfgang incredulously.
"An' eet Don Roberto's birthday. So I planneeng geef heem bess birthday efer!"
Wolfgang groaned and sank into a handy cushion.
"So whad you gonna do? No, no, led me guess - nod pampereeng ad Grey Gables nor leg wax, I suppose. How 'boud day oud to learn be figher pilod, or eef thad too eggsiting why nod treep to peddeeng zoo ad Llower Lloxlee?"
"Thad problemo," wailed Constanza, tears springing to her eyes, "Whad can I geef heem thad nod cost to much an' bedder than all other birthday's een Ambreedge?"
"Why nod kneet heem matcheeng had and scarf sed?"
"I geef heem thad for Chreesmas."
"Weell, kneet heem feengerless meettens for when hees hands ged cold when he workeeng."
Constanza blew her nose. "I theenkeeng more long lines of treep to Lords, see tess match."
"No thad moss eggsellent idea! I go too!"
"Bud eet coss lods of monees…"
"Pouff, eet notheeng, I daresay we able to afford eet. Maybee Leenda like cheep een too?"
"No," Constanza shook her head sadly, "I haf abandon idea."
"You know whad," said Wolfgang, after a few minutes of silent reflection, "Eet nod necessaree spend lods on beeg birthday present, afder all, eet thoughd thad cound, so why you nod tell heem to whad you thoughd, and then geef heem leettle keess?"
"Yo?" exclaimed Constanza, clutching her hoof to her breast, "Yo keess Don Roberto? Wolfgang how you able to suggess such a theeng?"
Wolfgang shrugged, "Eet onlee once a year," he said dismissively.
"Bud efen so…"
"Now then, led me theenk… Lovlee, blond Shula's birthday some time een Augusto eef I remember correctlee…"
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