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Listeners' Fantasies |
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Lily's News
by Vicky S
 Lily Pargettter makes another contribution to the Fantasy Archers topic of .
In the holiday me and Freddie stayed at home mummy said for god's sake don't those teachers get enough time off it's only been five minutes since christmas they want to try having proper jobs. daddy said well we ought to be thankful that our children have got the chance to go to school there are millions of children in the third world who don't get any education at all and mummy said what are you on about now and daddy said nothing is there any more marmalade and Freddie said Lily has put her crusts in her pocket again and I kicked him.
Mike came to look at some of daddys trees that have fallen down then daddy made me and Freddie walk in the wood for about 4 hours looking for trees with his name on and Aunty Camilla's name on and we couldn't find them so Freddie said can we put our names on a tree now and daddy said no and I said that's not fair you and Aunty Camilla did and daddy said things were different then and Freddie said what things were different and daddy looked sad and said nearly everything. My wellies were rubbing my sore leg so I cried and daddy said cheer up chicken we are going to plant some more trees won't that be fun? I said can we plant some Christmas trees but he said no. Then Freddie said can we climb on the new trees and daddy said no not until they are big and that will take a long time so Freddie said if Mike cut down some more trees and put them in a big heap we could climb on them like a fort it would be fun. And daddy said Freddie you must learn to think of the future and not the present so I said why is Freddie getting a present it's not our birthday and Freddie said because I'm a boy and one day when daddy and mummy are dead all these trees will be mine and I will never let you come and play here ner ner and I said I am going to tell mummy that you said ner ner and she is going to die and daddy said who would like a lovely long walk to the village to get some sweeties? Freddie said do we have to walk can't we go in the car? And daddy said no we can't go in the car we've got legs and I said my leg is still hurting so can we go on our bikes then? And daddy said no it's too dangerous on the road with all the traffic so Freddie and me said we didn't want to and daddy said well you'd better start getting used to the idea of walking that's all I can say, do you know some children in Africa have to walk miles to get to school everyday and Freddie said does Nolly have to walk to school and daddy said no she lives in a big city so she goes on a bus. I said I wished we lived in a big city then we could go on a bus or a train cos me and Freddie have never been on a bus or a train. And daddy laughed and said we were very deprived.
When we got back to the house me and Freddie went to see Kathy in the shop and she gave us some of the old lollies that nobody likes. Mike has only got one eye and his wife Betty is dead like Charlie and Grandma Julia and the trees.
daddys joke
Last night my daddy made a joke but I did not get it and Freddie said he did get it but I don't think he did. This is my daddys joke. We were all having tea and my daddy said I say Lizzie this might make you laugh I suppose we could say that the haha idea isn't quite so funny now, get it haha funny ha ha. My mummy said is that supposed to be a joke Nigel because I for one do not think it is very amusing and if you had just spent an hour on the phone with the insurance company then another forty minutes trying to get an emergency glazier to come all the way out here tonight you might not be laughing either and what are you sniggering at Freddie? Then Freddie cried and said he was only laughing at daddys joke and mummy said now look you've upset the children god knows what sort of trauma they are going to have to live with for the rest of their lives after watching their father practically killing the entire staff and demolishing half of their inheritance and daddy said I say Lizzie steady on there is no need to exaggerate things and my mummy said, oh I do beg your pardon yes you are quite right there is absolutely no need to exaggerate things because things are bad enough anyway thanks to you and need no embellishment from me do they.
After that no one said anything for a little bit and then me and Freddie said we've finished please may we leave the table and we went outside to watch Titcombe cleaning up the glass. But I still don't know why daddys joke was funny or why he was trying to practically kill Kathy. I like Kathy and I don't want her to be dead because she is nice.
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