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Listeners' Fantasies |
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Jazzer's Jargon
by scotty
 With Jazzer offering to help recruit the new pig person, here's a handy translation guide. More of Jazzer's Jargon can be found in the Fantasy Archers topic of
Jazzer: OK, we're gonnae hae a blether aboot ma wee lassies. Gie that mug a dicht an' gie' us an Irn Bru - hae wan yersel'.
Trans: Good morning. I wish to discuss your previous employment in porcine husbandry. Let us share some refreshments during this experience interface.
Jazzer: Ur yous enny guid, an' whit huv yous been daein' up til noo?
Trans: Can you please give me a verbal outline of your Curriculum Vitae, with special reference to your core competencies?
Jazzer: Are yous aware ye cannae hae a fag in the hayshed?
Trans: Are you able to take ownership of Health & Safety issues to DEFRA Gold Standard?
Jazzer: Whit wid ye dae if wan o' ma lassies wuz hirplin'?
Trans: Does your veterinary knowledge database include orthopaedic skills?
Jazzer: Wull ye dae whit yer telt, but nae footer aboot in a rammy?
Trans: Can you walk the talk, whilst assuring me that you are capable of blue sky-thinking in the event of an emergency situation?
Jazzer: Enuff of a' this bletherin'. Ah'll gie ye a bell.
Trans: Thank you so much for attending. We'll touch base after I've run all that up our HR flagpole, and see who salutes you.
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