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Listeners' Fantasies |
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Grand Designs
by Vicky S
 Emma seems to be over-reaching herself in her desire to move out of the caravan, as this correspondence from the Fantasy Archers topic of illustrates.
From: Grand Designs Office
Channel 4 Television
To: Ms Emma Grundy
Dear Ms Grundy,
Thank you for your letter enclosing the rough sketch of your plans for the barn conversion you and your partner are planning on your dairy farm. It is certainly a bold and imaginative design, using startling blocks of colour.
Kevin would be very interested in discussing the details with you further with a view to possibly including your project in the next series.
We note that you and your partner are both called Grundy. Are you brother and sister? We have never featured a brother/sister build before so this might strengthen your application.
Also do you have any photographs of the proposed site?
Yours sincerely
D Root
Production Assistant
...
From: Grand Designs Office
Channel 4 Television
To: Ms Emma Grundy
Dear Emma,
Thank you for your full and very explanatory letter. What a difficult situation for you all. However, now you have plans to build your dream home I am sure, as you say, things can only get better.
Thank you for the photographs, the polaroids were very clear, George is a lovely little boy, and as you say, big for his age. If you have any further photographs of the shed, preferably not taken from the road, we would love to see them. I am sure the misunderstanding about the barn came from our end. I have to confess the error about the colours was mine alone, I completely misinterpreted the bold use of wax crayon in your original sketch.
At this point we would also be interested in seeing a rough draft of your financial plans for the build, and of your timescale for the project. You might need to start sounding out local builders who would be able to cope with such a huge commitment.
Yours sincerely
Daisy Root
Production Assistant
...
From: Grand Designs Office
Channel 4 Television
To: Ms Emma Grundy
Dear Emma,
Thank you for your recent letter.
I understand that having just returned to work after your maternity leave your finances are a little unsettled. However, I feel it only fair to point out that a project such as you describe, even if you forget about the landscaped Japanese garden, will require careful financing. In my experience obtaining loans from a bank or building society will require more collateral than a photocopy of a building society passbook and a Children's Savings Bond, which of course is technically your son's property, and inaccessible until he is eighteen.
I sympathise with your difficulty re builders. I am sure your ex father-in-law will come round eventually and lend a hand where he can, and your father's self-build experience will be invaluable of course. And I can well imagine your frustration at Jason's less than helpful comments.
Kevin has asked me to ask you how your application for planning permission is proceeding? It's just as well to get the planners on board as soon as possible. I suggest you contact your architects for an update.
Best wishes
Daisy
Production Assistant
...
From: Grand Designs Office
Channel 4 Television
To: Ms Emma Grundy
Dear Emma,
You will find them at your local town hall.
You will need to provide them with detailed plans of your proposals. I am sure your father will know the ropes.
Kevin does not have any publicity photos available at the moment , but we will keep your request on file.
Best wishes to you all,
hope Georgie has a lovely birthday
Daisy
...
From: Grand Designs Office
Channel 4 Television
To: Ms Emma Grundy
Dear Mrs Carter,
With reference to your letter let me make it clear that at no time has this office attempted to coerce your daughter into any 'deal' financial or otherwise.
May I remind you that your daughter initially approached this office with her proposals. Which, as it has emerged, were for a property for which her only claim of ownership appears to be that her ex-husband's family were former tenants.
We had no contact with Mr Sterling until his email last Tuesday after we attempted to arrange a preliminary site visit to what we had been led to believe was your daughter's property.
The phrase 'toff's conspiracy' is unfounded and offensive. Any further accusations will be passed to our legal department.
As requested I am returning the polaroids of your grandson. As I explained to Emma, there are no publicity photos of Kevin available at the present time.
Yours sincerely
D Root
Production Assistant
Pic: John Loser
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