Outrage at ableist βprejudiceβ
Emma Tracey talks to disability activist Samantha Renke about her experience of misogyny and ableism prejudice after a controversial podcast clip goes viral.
Disability activist and commentator Samantha Renke says the law on disability hate speech needs to be strengthened after a podcast discussion about dating someone in a wheelchair goes viral.
Also on the show: Actress and comedian Ashley Storrie talks about the autistic character she plays in the new ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ Three comedy drama Dinosaur.
The episode was made by Daniel Gordon with Drew Hyndman and Alexander Collins
Recorded and mixed by Michael Regaard
The editor is Alex Lewis
Transcript
Access All β Episode 99
Presented by Emma Tracey
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Μύ
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Hello, Access All listeners. Itβs Emma here. And I just wondered if you have watched The Assembly. Itβs an unusual format for a TV show I think. Itβs Michael Sheen, the Welsh actor, very famous, and heβs in a room full of neurodivergent people and people with learning disabilities asking him questions. Hereβs a clip:
[Clip]
FEMALE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Welcome to The Assembly. Our collective of autistic, neurodivergent and learning disabled interviewers. We are delighted to have you joining us today. Our rules are: no subject is out of bounds [laughter]; no question is off the table [laughter]; and all might happen. Please tell us who you are.
[End of clip]
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ it really feels like Michael Sheen is all in with this from the start. He walks into a room full of people who are going to just ask him any question they like. I donβt know how much preparation he was given. I donβt know if he got any questions in advance. It doesnβt really feel like he got any questions in advance because he answers really authentically I think, and the questions are asked really authentically in lots of different ways. Thereβs a guy who just asks him whether he likes different superheroes, and he ends up doing a Scooby Doo impression, and thereβs questions about bats and Doctor Who. Thereβs a guy who doesnβt ask his question for a good number of seconds and Michael Sheen waits really comfortably I think, and everyone cheers him on. And then thereβs this question:
[Clip]
FEMALE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Okay, this question is a bit intense, so.
MICHAEL-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Okay.
FEMALE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ How does it feel to be dating someone whoβs only five years older than your daughter? [Gasps from the crowd]
[End of clip]
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ I mean, I do love that they get right in there into Michael Sheenβs love life. I quite enjoyed that. But I just wondered whether itβs something you think could fly, whether there should be a series of this. Who should be in it? Who should ask the questions? Who should answer the questions? Maybe we should have our own Access All assembly. Who should our guests be? Ooh, the possibilities are endless. On with the show!
MUSIC-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Theme music.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Hello, and welcome to Access All, the ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔβs weekly disability and mental health podcast. Iβm Emma Tracey and Iβm in Edinburgh this week, which is really, really nice. Iβm going to be talking to Ashley Storrie whoβs the main character in a new ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ drama, Dinosaur, where she plays an autistic palaeontologist. How cool is that? Iβm also going to be talking to disability consultant and writer, Sam Renke, about a podcast clip thatβs been all over our social media feed and has upset a lot of disabled people this week.
ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ You can contact us by email accessall@bbc.co.uk. And donβt forget to subscribe to us on ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ Sounds or wherever you get your podcasts.
ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Disabled peopleβs social media feeds have been full this week of people commenting in disgust at some comments made on a podcast called Low IQ, with Cole Anderson-James and Jack Joseph. The topic they were talking about was whether hypothetically they would stay with a girlfriend who had been badly injured and become a wheelchair user. Hereβs a clip, and it does contain some distressing language:
[Clip]
MALE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ If she was hit by a car and she was, like, completely mangled would you?
MALE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Would I what?
MALE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Stay with her?
MALE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Yeah.
MALE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Same.
MALE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Would you?
MALE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Yeah, yeah.
MALE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ You wouldnβt?
MALE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Why?
MALE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Because you care about looks so much.
MALE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ I donβt care about looks [laughs].
MALE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Because youβre saying mangled people arenβt attractive, if theyβve been hit by a car theyβre not attractive?
MALE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ No, Iβm saying I would. But I think you would care too much about yourβ¦being next to someone and, like, holding hands in public because youβd be like, oh everyoneβs going to think Iβm grim now.
[End of clip]
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ People have also been writing about this clip on X. Hereβs a flavour of what theyβve been saying:
FEMALE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Let me be clear, Iβm not mangled; neither is it grim to hold my hand. I am strong and independent, just like every other disabled woman you objectify with your sickening words. Every day we face our disabilities, and the stigmas that accompany them head on.
FEMALE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Itβs important to remember that health is in no way guaranteed and you could become disabled at some point, whether it be from an accident, illness or old age, our health can deteriorate. Would you then view yourself as mangled and grim?
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ With me to talk about this social media furore is writer, presenter and disability consultant Sam Renke. Hi Sam.
SAM-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Hi, lovely to be here with you.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Sam, whatβs your reaction to this clip thatβs been all over the internet?
SAM-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ I wasnβt shocked because this is something that I can across regularly. But I was angered because I think, although we shouldnβt play, you know, a game of Top Trumps when weβre talking about disability, I often think that if that word, and Iβm going to use the word they used mangled, was another derogatory term to talk about another under-represented marginalised group there would have been a lot more outrage. The video would have been absolutely bannered. I actually reported it myself, and it was still up there for a very long time. So, itβs said, itβs not surprising.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ The men in the clip did pull back from what they were saying by the end. They said that they would stay with a girlfriend, that theyβd have no problem. Theyβve definitely pulled back from what they originally said. But they did use terms like mangled and grim, you know, pretty distressing language. Do you think that that should be illegal to say these sorts of things in a podcast, and considered hate speech?
SAM-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ I actually think it is ableist hate speech. And unfortunately when we talk about disability and inclusive practice, when weβre talking about the law, disability is still very much at the lower end of the pecking order, so to speak.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ So, should what theyβve said be illegal to say?
SAM-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Yeah, I think it should have been absolutely taken down immediately. But again, I see a lot of words still used in mainstream media. Some of my favourite programmes still use the βRβ word quite flippantly. So, where is this disconnect? How can we bridge that gap? Where are we failing disabled people? Why are we not taking it as seriously as we would any other hate speech or discrimination?
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ I know you have strong feelings about this needing to be illegal, Samantha. But we did contact the ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ duty lawyer for the legal stance and this is what they told us: βThere is no standalone hate speech offence relating to disability, unlike for race, sexual orientation or religionβ. How typical is this sort of language on the internet and in the media, and this sort of, I mean, behaviour I want to say? How typical is what they said? How often do you see it?
SAM-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ From my own experience, you know, this did come down to lads trying to, you know, get that attention. I went from an experience when Iβve had my own dating, a lot of ableism, a lot of horrible misogyny when it comes to my own disability.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ In what way? What have you experienced?
SAM-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ I mean, from the very basic groups of lads when I used to go clubbing and partying when I was much, much younger, egging one another on to go and flirt with me or go and give me a snog, and then laughing about it, talking, pointing, taking sneaky photos. To then making really, kind of, offhand comments on online dating or just any online forums, very, very inquisitive about my ability to perform sexually, that association that wheelchair user means not being able to have a sexual relationship. To before the pandemic experience a sexual assault and having my wheelchair weaponised against me.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Would women talk about men like this, do you think? Would women talk about disabled men like this?
SAM-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ I donβt know. Thereβs probably some women that would. But I think there is quite a toxic culture amongst men who want to be the lad, who want to get the joke. A lot of the content that I see online is taking the Mickey, so to speak, out of petite statured women. And all of it comes from men. Now, Iβm not saying all men behave like this, but there seems to be a real laddish culture to kind of get those cheap thrills, to get that reaction from their peer group.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Do you think the level of online hate towards disabled women is actually increasing?
SAM-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ I think weβre probably more aware of it because of social media. I couldnβt probably say that thatβs increased. Iβm not a sociologist, so Iβve not seen any hard data on that. But I definitely think that there is a negative culture when it comes to men and how they objectify women across the board.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Do you think that the explosion of social media has something to do with this, so TikTok in recent years? And also maybe that this is young menβs backlash against maybe what they see as too much diversity or, you know, wokeism and it feels like their power is being taken away somewhat?
SAM-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ I think every human being can have intrusive thoughts. Iβm a true crime fanatic, or sometimes Iβve had visions of running over someone in my wheelchair that I donβt particular like [laughs]. But them intrusive thoughts they pop into my mind and they dissipate very, very quickly. And I think what social media has allowed people to do is to share those intrusive thoughts; but they then get validation, and this validation by the likes, by the comments, by that mob mentality I guess, by that peer pressure ultimately sends this message that oh, okay, so to begin with I knew that that wasnβt the appropriate thing to say, but now x, y and z, Iβve got 10,000 people saying good on you, this is amazing what youβve just said. And I think that adds to what weβre seeing right now to be honest.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ And how do you feel about so many disabled people sharing that clip? Because I hated watching it over and over again. I found it really, really uncomfortable and I sort of was like, I wish people would stop sharing this.
SAM-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Yeah, I agree with you, and I was quite triggered by it. I think when that actually, the clip got shared quite a lot on social media, it was just a really heavy time for disabled people. There was a lot in the media going on that wasnβt pleasant towards disabled people. And I felt a bit of fatigue, I felt like wow, is this the world we live in, are disabled people so hated. But I do say we need to set our own boundaries when it comes to social media.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Yeah.
SAM-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Try not to read the comments. I went down that rabbit hole and that made me feel ten times worse. Take regular breaks away from social media. And also go and follow some amazing, beautiful, creative, positive content creators. Get that balance!
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Samantha Renke, thank you so much for joining me.
SAM-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Thank you.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ And thanks for such a great discussion on this.
SAM-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Thank you.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ We did attempt to contact the makers of the Low IQ podcast, but at the time of recording we have not as yet received a reply. Μύ
ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ My guest this week is a standup comedian, sheβs a radio presenter, sheβs a writer, and now she is an actor in the main role in top ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ drama Dinosaur. And sheβs a big deal here in Scotland, but I reckon this role is whatβs going to catapult her on to the actual world stage because itβs on Hulu in the US as well. Itβs Ashley Storrie. Youβre very welcome.
ASHLEY-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Hello, thank you for having me.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Letβs talk about Dinosaur. What is about? You tell me.
ASHLEY-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Dinosaur is about Nina, who is a palaeontologist, and she lives with her sister, Evie, who is her best friend and they love each other very much. And Evie throws a spanner into the works by telling her that sheβs getting married to a man sheβs only known for, like, a couple of weeks, which isnβt enough time. And Nina is distraught. It throws her world into a tailspin. And she has to make this decision of whether sheβs going to be a good sister or whether sheβs going to explain the logic of why Evie is wrong for doing this. And all the while Nina is, like me, on the autism spectrum β I always forget to say that because itβs not something I say about myself every time I mention this [laughs].
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ I wanted to jump in and say the reason why she has this absolute need to be so logical about it all is partly because sheβs autistic. We have a clip of exactly what you were talking about there, so letβs hear it:
[Clip]
EVIE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Iβve never felt this way, Nina. Heβs my person.
NINA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ But mum and dad are not going to be happy about this.
DAD-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Weβre so happy about this.
EVIE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Now, we know that itβs soon but weβre thinking summer wedding?
DAD-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Lovely.
NINA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Thatβs it?
DAD-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ What?
NINA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Sheβs marrying some man that none of us have ever met and thatβs all youβre going to say? Dad, what if he chokes women at the weekend?
DAD-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Does he choke women on the weekend?
EVIE-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ No. Heβs in a feminist book group.
DAD-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Well, there you are. Weβd only known each other six months when we got married.
NINA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Yes, but that was in 1986 when everybody was stupid and you thought that the feathered mullet was an all right hairstyle for men.
DAD-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Oh, I loved my feathered mullet.
MUM-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Oh, and heβs never looked so good.
NINA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ He looked like Princess Diana.
MUM-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ How long did Romeo and Juliet know each other before they got married? 24 hours?
NINA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ They were pretend, and then they killed themselves.
[End of clip]
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ [Laughing] yes, so Nina is being logical there and everyone else is just going on with it. So, you're autistic Ashley, and so is Nina in the drama. Are there similarities between the two of you?
ASHLEY-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ I think there are certainly similarities to how we react to things. Thereβs a lot of differences; Ninaβs an academic, I am not. I think weβre similar in that we both kind of see the world the same way and react to the world the same way, and weβre both sensitive to the same things.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Which isnβt surprising because you were involved in writing Dinosaur, werenβt you? What was that process like?
ASHLEY-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ I was one of the co-creators on Dinosaur, and I wrote episode three, and I had a lot of overview on the rest of the episodes. Itβs what I studied in university, filmmaking and screenwriting, so it was a dream come true literally.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Tell me a bit about the filming of Dinosaur. Itβs about an autistic person, youβre autistic. What was the set like, was it really autism friendly? What way did it all pan out?
ASHLEY-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ When we first started I was really, really anxious about filming because I thought, Iβm good at masking but then lockdown happened, and my masking skills kind of fell a little to the wayside because I wasnβt interacting with people and I didnβt really have any use for it.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ So, you're masking in that youβre pretending and trying to be whatever people want you to be or whatever?
ASHLEY-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ To use a negative word, trying to pretend to be normal [laughter], but that wasnβt really in my wheelhouse anymore. And I was really, really scared when we went to film this series because filming is a really long day, itβs like 12-hour days, five days a week, youβre surrounded by a lot of people, a lot of noise, and I got really anxious what if I canβt maintain, what if I canβt hide it, what if I canβt mask. And I talked to Sarah Hammond, whoβs our executive producer, and I said all this, and she was like, βWell donβt. Just be yourself. We didnβt hire a person whoβs autistic and then think that they wouldnβt be autistic anymore. That would be strangeβ. So, it was really nice that she said everybody would accommodate me rather than me trying to accommodate everybody else. And everybody else was given that same level of care. So, there were, like, questionnaires that we filled out before we started filming about our triggers and stuff like that, even the neurotypical people. And we all had access to talk to people if we wanted, and there were safe spaces wherever we went, and everything was just really cool. And I know that sounds like itβs a lot of work and maybe would slow things down, but we had an incredibly efficient crew and we worked really well with that sort of open dialogue and with everybody kind of being in the same boat, rather than it just being special treatment for me.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Did you feel like you were listened to throughout and the character was developed based on stuff that you were saying? Because I follow you on social media, on Facebook and Instagram and stuff, and youβre quite open. And there are things that youβve mentioned about your life over the last couple of years that I actually saw in Dinosaur, so it feels like you were listened to.
ASHLEY-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Yeah, very much so. When it came to specifically things about meltdowns or autism or not even the negative stuff, the positive stuff as well, I was always deferred to. Because I think that when youβre writing about specifically autism which is such a big spectrum and it affects everybody differently, and people feel differently about their autism, I think that you can only write from a place of honesty and truth, and thatβs the way to make it work. And if you donβt write from that position it can come off as artificial or like youβre writing for the neurotypical people rather than the neurodiverse people.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Yeah.
ASHLEY-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ And I wanted it to feel real and be authentic, and not be there to just educate other people on what autism is.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Teaching moments.
ASHLEY-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Yeah. I didnβt want that. And we never really fell into that trap and that was really good.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ But you also have a wider knowledge of autism. How many times am I going to say autism and autistic in this interview? My god. I will talk about other stuff in a minute, I promise. But you kind of have a wider knowledge because your dadβs autistic as well?
ASHLEY-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Yeah. My dad was diagnosed when I was in school. And I was the first person to say, βOh, I think this is whatβs going on, papaβ. He had been really, really, really, really depressed. Autism wasnβt even part of conversation at that point. It was very much the idea of autism was a specific thing, and my dad didnβt fit that sort of β I hate to use this as an example but itβs the only thing I can think of β autism was just seen as this, like, Rain Man thing and that was it, and there was no nuance or spectrum. ΜύAnd in school I was studying higher psychology and I got given the Baron-Cohen test, which has its problems, but as I read it I was like, oh my goodness, thatβs my dad, my dad fits all of these categories for the diagnosis of what was then called Aspergerβs. And I told him, and then he, heβd been in his bed for maybe, like, six years at this point, he hadnβt really got up, he was so sad, and he went to his GP and his GP was like, βYeah, thatβs what that isβ. And it changed his life. He got help, he got support and he just knew, just knowing himself helped him. It was mainly just being able in our household for him to verbalise and understand that what he was feeling wasnβtβ¦ Because he would get so angry about tiny things and he didnβt know why, and he thought he was just a bad person. That was in his head, thatβs the only way he could quantify this irrational irritation at tiny, tiny things. And then when he knew oh, this is autism, I can verbalise, this is just my autism, Iβm fine and I can go away and I can contextualise these feelings I have now, that did more than anything.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ You talked about your household there, there are two autistic people in it β Iβve said it again, Iβve said autistic again! β there are two autistic people in your house. Iβm obviously interested because obviously loads of houses have more than one autistic person because often autistic adults have autistic kids. But I always wonder whether the traits and the things that how autism shows up for you and for your dad whether they drive you both up the wall with each other or whether it actually helps having another autistic person in the house?
ASHLEY-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ I think itβs a bit of both. It helps because we can understand each other. But at the same time his needs are more, and more varied. I think that that kind of helped with the writing of Dinosaur because weβre dealing with the relationship between two sisters where one is neurodiverse and one is neurotypical. And itβs sort of, like, Iβve had to be the neurotypical person for him to, you know, look after him, and I can kind of see it from both sides: I can see this weird, wonderful brain thing from both angles because Iβve been in both sets of shoes.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ So, how did you get diagnosed then if you were being his neurotypical person for such a long time?
ASHLEY-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ It was blatantly obvious to everybody around me. I asked my doctor a long, long time ago. After my dad got diagnosed I went to my GP and he was a very elderly man, and I said, βI think I might have the same thingβ and he was like, βMaybe, but donβt get diagnosed because itβll affect your ability to get employed in the futureβ. And I said, βOh okayβ. And he also said, βPeople like you are just like thisβ and I thought, okay, people like me are just like this. And then as time went on I was finding more and more stuff difficult, and I remember I verbalised to my friend once, I was like, βYou know when you have to get ready to leave the house and youβre thinking of all the things youβre going to say and you have to put on a face and you have to prepare yourself and get in character?β and she was like, βNo, I just leave the houseβ. And I thought, oh, is nobody else doing this, because the prep it takes for me to walk out the door and interact with people is like the prep for an acting job, is nobody else going into this level of character work for their own personality before they exit the door? And when I realised no I thought I should probably go and speak to somebody about that because Iβve spent my whole life thinking everybody else was doing this.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ And youβve got a famous mum obviously, Janey Godley, absolutely legend. And sheβs a comedian and has been for a long time. Why did you choose to follow in her footsteps?
ASHLEY-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ I didnβt want to at all. Iβd been working in and around standup comedy since I was 11, touring and looking after her, because my dad couldnβt do that. And youβll find with a lot of the festival comedians, not your telly comedians and the people who are making a lot of money, but your lower rung festival comedians who are just doing, like, Edinburgh, New Zealand, Australia over and over and over again, they usually have like a person that they take with them, usually a spouse. And my dad couldnβt be that for my mum so I had to be that for my mum. And so I would do all of the festivals and help her work. And I just didnβt want to be a standup comedian; I saw it and I was like, nope, not for me. But it was always something that I knew I could probably be good at if I just tried it. And then eventually I did try it, but it was a big rebellion against it, I didnβt want to.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ I would say itβs fair to say youβre a bit of a cult figure, Ashley, with all of your internet sketches and your standup comedy. How does it feel to be just about to go really mainstream?
ASHLEY-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Scary. Being an underdog is a very comfortable place. You get away with a lot of things, you get to be more inventive and expressive and try things because you know nobodyβs probably going to see it, and thatβs a really nice position to be in because you get to experiment without scrutiny. And Iβm terrified that I wonβt have that luxury anymore. But thatβs the payoff I guess, thatβs the exchange rate of getting any modicum of success. Iβd be really happy if this came out and for a week everybody was like, yeah well done, and then I just went back to my normal life [laughs].
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Oh, Ashley Storrie, itβs been an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for speaking to me.
ASHLEY-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Thank you for having me.
EMMA-ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Dinosaur will be on ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ iPlayer from next week. And Ashley also has a radio show on ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ Scotland, and itβs on ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ Sounds as well, every Friday night into Saturday morning, 10pm to 1am.
ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ That is your lot for this week, yes it is. But before I go can I remind you that next week is our 100 episode, and we are asking you to tell us the best advice that another disabled person has given you. And I can tell you weβve brought together quite a few from you listeners and from our disabled celebs, but we do want some more. So, if you could send them to us on WhatsApp, our number is 0330 123 9480. You could do a voice message or a text message. Please put the word Access before though because that helps us find it. You can email it to accessall@bbc.co.uk. So, thatβs the best advice that another disabled person has ever given you.
ΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύΜύ Thank you to my guests, Ashley Storrie and Sam Renke, and thanks to you for listening. Bye bye.
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Access All: Disability News and Mental Health
Weekly podcast about mental health, wellbeing and disabled people.