How I ended up marrying 'my mother'
After lesbian couple Lillian Faderman and Phyllis Irwin had a son in 1970s California, they needed to legally tie their family together: so Phyllis adopted Lillian.
After lesbian couple Lillian Faderman and Phyllis Irwin had a son in 1970s California, they realised their young family had nothing legally binding them together. Because they couldn’t marry at the time, they came up with a legal workaround – Phyllis would adopt Lillian, technically making them mother and daughter, though they never thought of themselves that way. When marriage laws changed in the early 90s, they tied the knot, meaning that for a period Lillian was technically married to her mother. They spoke to Jo Fidgen about navigating law and love during their nearly 50 years together.
Producer: Mariana Des Forges
Photo: Lillian Faderman and Phyllis Irwin
Credit: Lillian Faderman
Podcast
-
![]()
The Outlook Podcast Archive
True stories of ordinary people and the extraordinary events that have shaped their lives
