Main content

Upsetting reality of life as a carer more than a husband

Wareham husband Barry Read reflects on three decades of caring for his wife at home.

Barry Read from Wareham in Dorset has been a carer for his wife Mary for the best part of 30 years.

Mary started to become unwell in the mid-seventies when she presented symptoms of rheumatoid arthritis, forcing an early retirement from her job in a bank. Suddenly, life changed irreversibly.

Initially, Barry was combining a demanding position as a sales manager, working up to 75 hours a week, with caring for his wife - one of 5 million people in the UK managing the same juggling act. But, in 1999, Barry's own medical alarm also forced him to quit his job. During the intervening years, Mary has undergone 29 major surgeries and suffered four strokes, knowing the risk of infection is never far away. The family home has been adapted with lifting hoists, medical equipment and communication aids.

And the demands of caring for a loved one for such a long period of time has also taken its toll, Barry lives with Fybromyalgia - a debilitating condition that's resulted in two recent burn-outs.

He told Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ Radio Solent reporter Laurennce Herdman: "I'd do anything for Mary, but my life is, 'as a carer more than a husband now, and that upsets me a bit."

Barry refuses to consider himself an unsung hero for the devotion he has shown with his caring responsibilities, adding, "if Mary could get up and walk, she'd do everything to help me out. We're a couple, we're a pair, we're a company. We stick together".

Release date:

Duration:

2 minutes