麻豆约拍

Victoria Wood - As Seen On TV was a British comedy sketch series starring and written by comedienne Victoria Wood. The show aired on 麻豆约拍 Two between 1985 and 1987. The show usually ended on a music number, often with Wood singing and playing the piano. One of the best remembered tunes from the show was 'Let鈥檚 Do It'.

Lyrics for the full song:

Freda and Barry sat one night
The sky was clear,
the stars were bright
The wind was soft,
the moon was up
Freda drained her cocoa cup.
She licked her lips,
she felt sublime!
She switched off
Gardener's Question Time
Barry Cringed in fear and dread
As Freda Grabbed his tie and said:

Let's do it,
let's do it,
do it while the mood is right!
I'm feeling,
appealing,
I've really got an appetite.
I'm on fire
with desire
I could handle half the tenors
in a male voice choir.
Let's do it,
let's do it tonight!

But he said:

I can't do it,
I can't do it,
I don't believe in too much sex
This fashion
For passion
Turns us into nervous wrecks.
No derision,
My decision:
I'd rather watch the Spinners
on the television.
I can't do it,
I can't do it tonight.

So she said:
Let's do it,
let's do it,
do it till our hearts go boom
Go native,
creative,
living in the living room.
This folly
is jolly;
Bend me over backwards
on me hostess trolley!
Let's do it,
let's do it tonight.

But he said:
I can't do it,
I can't do it,
my heavy breathing days are gone.
I'm older,
feel colder;
It's other things that turn me on.
I'm imploring-
I'm boring-
Let me read this catalogue
on vinyl flooring!
I can't do it,
I can't do it tonight.

So she said:
Let's do it,
let's do it,
have a crazy night of love!
I'll strip bare,
I'll just wear
stilettos and an oven glove!
Don't starve a girl of a palaver,
Dangle from the wardrobe
in your balaclava.
Let's do it,
let's do it tonight!

But he said:
I can't do it,
I can't do it,
I know i'd only get it wrong.
Don't angle
For me to dangle,
My arms have never been that strong;
Stop pouting,
Stop shouting,
You know I pulled a muscle
when I did that grouting.
I can't do it,
I can't do it tonight.

Let's do it,
let's do it,
share a night of wild romance!
Frenetic,
Poetic,
this could be your last big chance!
To quote Milton,
To eat stilton,
To roll with gay abandon
on the tufted wilton!
Let's do it,
let's do it tonight!

I can't do it,
I can't do it,
I've got other little jobs on hand.
Don't grouse
Around the house
I've got a busy evening planned.
Stop nagging!
I'm flagging;
you know as well as I do
that the pipes want lagging.
I can't do it,
I can't do it tonight.

Let's do it,
let's do it,
while I'm really in the mood...
Three cheers!
It's years
Since I caught you even semi-nude.
Get drastic,
Gymnastic-
Wear your baggy Y-fronts
with the loose elastic
but Let's do it,
Let's do it tonight!

I can't do it,
I can't do it,
I must refuse to get undressed
I feel silly.
It's too chilly
To go without my thermal vest.
Don't choose me,
Don't use me
My mother sent a note to say
you must excuse me.
I can't do it,
I can't do it tonight.

Let's do it,
let's do it,
I feel absolutely must.
I won't exempt you,
Want to temp you,
Want to drive you mad with lust.
no cautions
just contortions:
Smear an avocado on my lower portions!
Let's do it,
let's do it tonight!

I can't do it,
I can't do it,
It's really not my cup of tea;
I鈥檓 harassed,
Embarrassed;
I wish you hadn鈥檛 picked on me.
No dramas
got in my pyjamas;
the only girl I'm mad about is
Judith Charmers
I can't do it,
can't do it tonight.

Let's do it,
let's do it,
I really want to run amok!
Let's wiggle!
Let's jiggle!
Let's really make the rafters rock!
Be mighty,
Be flighty
come and melt the buttons
on my flame-proof nightie!
Let's do it,
let's do it tonight!

Let's do it,
let's do it,
I really want to rant and rave!
Let's go,
Cos I know
Just how I want you to behave:
Not bleakly,
Not meekly-
Beat me on the bottom
with the Woman's Weekly-
Let's do it,
let's do it tonight!

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