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In the lead up to Christmas, I always think about my Dad because he enjoyed big family gatherings. He loved me dearly and I know this because he did his best to provide for our family and was a gentle, kind and hard-working man. Now, my mum used to tell me she loved me most days of my life, but my dad... well let’s just say that three words in a row for him was verbal diarrhoea. Since he passed away in 2017 after a short battle with cancer, I’ve tried to reflect on whether him not being very vocal had a negative effect on our relationship.ÌýÌý

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I haven’t fully made my mind up on that, but something my dad always did for me, was drive me places. He’d drive me to all my gigs and to and from the airport before I could afford airport parking!ÌýÌýWe never said much in the car but we sat in comfortable silence and I felt secure knowing that he had my back, even though I’d never heard him say ‘I love you’. But something interesting happened on the day he passed away.ÌýÌýAs he was slowly falling asleep, he whispered: ‘Son, I love you.’ÌýÌýI nearly fell off my chair!Ìý As much as I accepted him for who he was, him saying those words to me on his last day meant the world because it removed all doubt. I think most of the people I know want to feel loved. One of the things that drew me to faith was how loving and lovely the lady who first invited me to church was.Ìý

I’m a bit like my Dad. I say about 5 words a day but ever since my son came into the world 2 years ago, I make sure I verbalise how I feel. My son probably has no clue what I’m going on about and even though it’s slightly uncomfortable for me to be emotionally vulnerable, I know just how much it can mean to someone because it meant a lot for me.Ìý So, I guess my Dad saying ‘I love you’ that one time wasn’t just a gift to me – it was also a gift to the grandson he never met.ÌýÌý