麻豆约拍

From Julia Neuberger, Senior Rabbi at the west London Synagogue:

听

Earlier this week, a member of our congregation hosted a huge tea party for some of the older members of our congregation. It was in her garden, in a marquee, and she organised transport for everyone, so that even the frailest and most housebound of people could come. I used to think such events were a bit patronising, but I know now that this party at any rate was anything but. It was enormous- some 60 people for a massive tea. And the joy, and the buzz, and the fun, and the gossip, and the outrageous remarks, made me realise that the only thing preventing many of these older people leading a better social life was simply the isolation of being housebound and finding travel difficult. It鈥檚 not money, or ill-health, or distant family- though all of those can be issues. It鈥檚 simply practical difficulties. You should have heard the jokes, not suitable for polite radio, or the stories about nocturnal liaisons, their own and other people鈥檚. Not to mention learned discussion about Dutch history, and stories about grandchildren too. And lots of people were wearing their best jewellery and terrific clothes; there were there to have fun.

We鈥檙e hearing a lot- finally- about isolated older people. There鈥檚 several new charities doing telephone contacting, there鈥檚 the regular tea party charities, and there鈥檚 a real campaign growing to have a day of celebration of older people once a year, encouraging all of us to help them get out if that鈥檚 difficult for them.听听 But we鈥檒l need a national shift of mind if we鈥檙e to really make this work. Older people in many care homes rarely get visited. Older people in hospital wards often talk of the isolation they experience at home. So, having had a wild time myself at our tea party this week, I鈥檓 up for reinventing the Biblical phrase: 鈥淵ou shall stand up in front of the grey haired鈥�, in favour of a modern commandment 鈥淵ou shall ensure that your older friends and family get some fun鈥︹�︹�� Respect is one thing- and better than nothing. But it鈥檚 noticing, sharing, enjoying, joking, and caring that matter. And a gutsy full blown tea with gossip and chat, chocolate and strawberry cakes, is much nearer the mark than just standing up and showing a respect that doesn鈥檛 engage with the person concerned.听