麻豆约拍

Creator of Grange Hill, Brookside and Hollyoaks, Phil Redmond joins Sian and Richard to talk about the TV industry, Liverpool and writing gripping plotlines.

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Phil鈥檚 autobiography is published by Random House.

Colin Burnett-Dick talks about the addition to his family that he bought for 拢34,000: puppet Archie Andrews.

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The Archie Andrews Variety Show is on later this month in .

As children used to shine shoes and tout goods on the streets of Addis Ababa, now they are choreographers and dancers who travel the world.

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Poet Kate Fox takes inspiration from the Festival of the Apocalypse at the .

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John McCarthy talks to quadriplegic David Constantine about travelling to places where there is no disabled access and designing wheelchairs for use in the developing world.

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Singer songwriter Hazel O鈥機onnor chooses Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Judy Garland as the song she has inherited.听 The tracks she would like pass down are Redemption Song by Bob Marley and Imagine by John Lennon.

On the first day the world ended,<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

I said "Least said soonest mended.

"Sometimes these things are sent to try us."

Though in this case, they were sent to fry us.

But in the North we don't like to make a fuss,

us,

though sometimes, I admit, we make a bit of a fuss

about how we don't make a fuss.

In fact that "No Fuss Festival"

with the new play by Alan Bennett

"Not Fussed"

and the 38 act opera "Unfussy"

starring Lesley "I Never Make A Fuss Me" Garrett

might, upon reflection

have constituted making a fuss.

But just because it's Doomsday, there's no need to make

a big song and dance about it.

On the second day I was on the bus

when there was a bang and all the lights went out-

and there was a chorus,

of "Call this an Apocalypse? I felt nowt".

and "Grimsby hasn't looked this good since

the Germans redecorated."

You've got to make the best of things,

Northerners are tough like that

nobody else compares.

On the third day, the Tyne Bridge fell into a crack in

the space-time continuum

I said听 "I'll go to the foot of our stairs",

but when I got home,there weren't any.

On the fourth day,

Cleckheaton exploded.

I said "Worse things happen at sea."

and popped on a Bear Grylls DVD.

On the fifth day the government said it was tough for everyone,

with it being the Apocalypse

but that actually in London the restaurants were full

and maybe we just weren't trying hard enough

in Liverpool, Newcastle and Hull.

We should get on our bikes

and there not being any roads left, or bikes, was just an excuse.

On the sixth day, the streets were full of people wandering about, moaning.

The Zombies hadn't come-

it was just folk complaining about the price of petrol

and how the Co Op had run out of white sliced.

On the seventh day Greggs' Ham and Armageddon pasties

were going down a storm,

and they didn't have to charge tax

as the surface radiation kept them warm.

On the eighth day there were no planes in the sky,

we had street parties,

shared the last of their tins,

best china was brought out, bunting unfurled.

Armageddon?

What's the problem? we said,

"It's not the end of the world."

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