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We’ve seen many young people experience serious impacts on their mental health as a result of lockdowns and school closures during the pandemic, but what about the other ‘quaranteens’? Those teenagers who are basically fine and arguably a lot better off than many, but maybe they’ve missed out on some major social milestones which can mould you as a person - the parties, teen romances and opportunities to be with their friends. How can we support them?

Woman's Hour hears the experience of Rachel, who is the mother of teenage children, and consultant child and educational psychologist Laverne Antrobus offers some advice for how to help these teens.

Rachel has concerns about the impact of the pandemic on her five children. Her oldest child is 18 years old.

“I think particularly for the 18-year-old, it's been quite a hard time to be coming of age and that transition between being a child and being an adult. They've missed out on quite a lot of the small incremental chances to practice independence. So she's started at university now and she's fine. But lots of the kind of bit-by-bit going away for a weekend or going out for the day with friends just hasn't really been happening.

“My 16 and 14-year-old don't tend to go and hang out with friends. I think, partly just because they've not been in the habit of doing so because there haven't been people they could mix with and there haven't been places that they could go. I think in a way, it feels like they're playing catch up. They're a year or two behind.

“I think that they're lacking a lot of confidence around relationships and around friendships because they haven't had that chance to work out who they are, what they like, who they like being around, and just to play with those different versions of themselves, that you can be with different people.

“The message is often that children need to catch up with academics because of the time that they've missed in school. I think that children and young people really need to catch up with time to experiment socially. They need to be given the time and opportunity to do that and that needs to be pushed more than the learning. I think the learning will happen in time.

“I think it's such a crucial point in the development of children and young people, so to suddenly miss it and expect them to come out as rounded adults at the end, it's a very big jump.”

So, how can we support the teenagers or young people in our lives who are dealing with this? How can we help them catch up with the things they've missed out on?

Laverne Antrobus is a consultant child and educational psychologist. She joined Emma Barnett on Woman’s Hour to discuss how we can best support teenagers to develop, even if they feel they’ve missed out on some of these growing-up and social opportunities in the pandemic. Here are her best tips…

“I think that we’re talking about a population of children who have got a little bit more resilience than others. In my experience of visiting secondary schools, they are absolutely using every moment, squeezing every bit they can out of the social situations that they are in. So yes, their footsteps along the way aren't the same ones and there are lots of pauses.

“You may need to allow time for them to be separate - they will need some time to process everything that is happening. Always gently ask how they feel to ensure that they’re not becoming too overwhelmed.”

“Check in with teenagers,” says Laverne. “Ask them what they feel they have missed during the pandemic. You might be surprised at the things that they mention and the things that they don’t. Talking can never be underestimated. Having your thoughts and feelings validated and looked after by your parents, I think is really important.

“I think parents have to be talking to children about what they think they've missed. Just try to keep them in touch with a bit of hope that we are going to get there and we are going to come through this.

“Also acknowledge how well they are coping. Most teenagers have continued attending school and studying, so remind them that all the effort they are putting in now will contribute to what they do going forward.”

“I think parents have got to also be careful about laying the foundations for what's ahead. Remind your teens of the things that they can admire about what they're doing when they are young people going to school.

“They are still studying hard. They are still working for their futures. And I think parents really need to put some emphasis on the things that they’re noticing their children are doing well and engaging with. Try to perhaps focus on that as well as the times that we’re living in.”

“Relax some of the rules at home to allow for more contact with friends on their mobile phones or when gaming - this social time is vital for them to stay connected to friends.

“These are the social situations that our children are hanging on to at the moment. Whilst it might look like they’re just sort of pressing buttons on the console, if you listen to the conversations they're having, they're still chatting about people that they might feel attracted to or the party that they might have.”

“Offer support to teenagers to make plans for when the pandemic restrictions are reduced. I think some planning for the future around birthdays that are coming or what they would like to do is important. Celebrations might be smaller than they would want, but having a date and time in mind to have mini celebrations will be important.

“Obviously masses of adjustments are going to have to be made, but I think just having an eye on the future is really important. So be available to help your teen get around safely. That might mean a few more lifts or helping them make safe arrangements for meeting up with friends.”

Listen to the full discussion on Â鶹ԼÅÄ Sounds, where you can also catch up on any episodes you may have missed. Or join the conversation @bbcwomanshour on and .