The shiny, red car spun neatly in the air, graceful as a prima ballerina, then kissed the surface of the road with a thundering smack. As Linda fell hard though the windscreen she glimpsed a curious black cat with a white-tipped tail lying sprawled on the nearby verge, calmly lapping up the spectacle with the casual manner of a being that had seen it all.
______________________
The steady, hypnotic beep of the life support machine was failing to keep its charge in a stupor. Linda had decided it was time to wake up but on the grand occasion of opening her eyes was dismayed to find no jolly welcoming party or bobbing balloons. Instead, she lay swaddled in linen in a quiet soulless white room with only the drone of machinery for company. Her parched mouth cried out for water yet her attendants had not sense enough to leave a jug on the off chance that she might actually wake up. Honestly!
Gradually the vestiges of life filtered in from outside causing Linda's newly awoken ears to recoil at the shrieking ring of telephones and mindless chatter of staff nurses. She gathered her wits about her and thought hard. How had she ended up in here? And where was Patrick? The last thing she remembered was getting ready for their May bank holiday road trip; only this year was special because they were celebrating thirty years of marriage and were going to spend the night in that new hotel on the coast. There was going to be a spa treatment for her and golf for him, ending the evening with something wet and sparkling and a coy glance as she led him to their room.
She smiled briefly though the action caused her to wince. Terrified, she hobbled over to the 鈥榚n suite', stood still in front of the mirror and tentatively closed her eyes.
On opening them she was immediately forced to look away, blinking tearfully as the cruel midday sun blinded her.
鈥淧atrick! Where...where are we?鈥 she demanded, her eyes drinking in her husband as if for the first time. Her spouse of twenty nine years and three hundred and sixty four days turned around to face her and laughed. She watched curiously as his shaking belly fought to edge its way out from behind the steering wheel.
鈥淲akey, wakey, rise and shine. Can't you smell the beeeeeautiful sea air?鈥 he asked, sniffing like a hungry bloodhound on the scent.
Bewildered, Linda sat up and rubbed her neck vigorously, circling her heavy head from left to right to loosen the still sleeping muscles.
鈥淥ch Patrick, why did you let me fall asleep? I had an awful dream you know.鈥
鈥淲hat dream could put my gorgeous wifey in such a mood, especially on a glorious day like this. Listen here, I'm starvin', could eat a horse between two bread vans. Fancy stopping somewhere for a bacon butty?鈥
鈥淒on't joke Patrick and please don't mention food, I've come over all queasy. I've a bad feeling you know鈥 Linda said, her brow wrinkled with concern.
鈥淥h Spooky, not another one of your bad feelings鈥 he guffawed, playfully patting her knee. 鈥淵ou know, I hope you've packed something slinky for tonight; we'll not be young things for much longer so we may as well make the most of it eh?鈥
But Linda wouldn't play along this time. She pulled the window down and gazed intently at the sunny country road whizzing by, desperate to catch sight of a couple of magpies. She moaned aloud when they passed a sign for the B 13 to Newcastle . Ashen-faced, she turned to Patrick;
鈥淚 dreamt we were in a terrible car accident but then I woke up in the hospital and you weren't there, so I panicked Patrick. It was horrendous!鈥 she cried, tears suddenly streaming down her flushed face.
鈥淐alm down love. Look, I'm going to pull over,鈥 he suggested. 鈥淵ou're the colour of watery porridge.鈥 He pushed up his sunglasses and squinted ahead. To his stomach's relief a service station sign loomed, the knife and fork promising over-priced and over-cooked meat-based products.
鈥淪peaking of porridge, there's a caf茅 up here. I could do with a bacon sarnie and you can have a cuppa and a bun. Steady the old nerves a bit eh?鈥
Patrick indicated left towards the caf茅, throwing surreptitious sideward glances at Linda. He loved her but he would never understand her. Still and all, he was eager for his wife to recover her sense of humour before they reached the hotel.
Linda watched a black cat saunter towards the car, appear to give her a brief nod and then stroll to the other side of the road.
鈥淪top Patrick!鈥 she cried out, grabbing the steering wheel from her squealing husband who struggled to relinquish control of the car before she killed them both. The car came to a screeching halt at the side of the road.
Patrick groaned inwardly as the service stop grew smaller in the distance.
鈥淲hat the hell is wrong with you?!鈥 he shouted at her, his colour and temper rising.
鈥淚'm sorry pet, just drive up a wee bit farther. We can't stop here鈥.
Linda looked down at her hands, fingers interlaced and thumbs circling one another.
Patrick sighed and drove on in silence. He pulled over a quarter of a mile farther up and tried to collect his nerves. His shaking hands released the seat belt while his rumbling stomach complained of an opportunity missed.
Linda glanced anxiously behind her but the fearless black feline with the white-tipped tail was nowhere to be seen.
鈥淧atrick, that cat.....鈥
鈥淲hat bloody cat? What are you on woman?鈥
鈥淗ow could you not have seen鈥︹.鈥
But her words were drowned out by the deafening wail of braking tyres and the couple watched in horror as an articulated lorry ploughed through the service station railings, leaving pungent scorch trails on the surface that Patrick had only just driven over.
Husband and wife exchanged a disbelieving glance for a moment then jumped into action. Linda whipped out her mobile and rang the emergency services as Patrick ran to help the lorry driver, who had fallen clumsily out of his cab and was swaying dizzily back and forth.
A stressful hour later the anniversary trip was back on. Both were uncharacteristically quiet.
鈥淎re you alright love?鈥 her husband enquired worryingly, his own heart still beating nineteen to the dozen.
鈥淎bsolutely darling.鈥 she replied, turning to him with a huge grin. 鈥淚'm going to sleep well tonight but after we have a little fun of course鈥.
Patrick beamed and his not insubstantial chest swelled with pride as his wife laid her sweet smelling head on his shoulder.
鈥淗ubby, I know you've paid for this wonderful break and all but I've been thinking. How do you feel about us getting a cat for our old age?鈥
