Mutton dressed as lamb is what my mum would have called her.ÌýDolly had always faced life from behind a net curtain, not ever showing her true self. She always kept up with the latest fashion - as she saw it - and she saw herself to be many years younger than she really was. Dolly wore, as standard to her, a mini skirt, or hot pants, fish net tights and a close fitting blouse unbuttoned enough to show off herÌý ample bosom and of course far too much make-up. For some reason Dolly had never been able to achieve the one thing she really, really wanted in life - a man of her own. Poor Dolly had generally been thought of as 'easy meat' as she had always been so desperate to get her man.ÌýShe had gone out with every fella in her home town, well almost; there was still one or two that she couldn't bring herself to date, although there was this one guy she fancied, but he was a convicted murderer and covered in prison tattoos... As a Lab Technician in her white coat, Dolly was very good at blending into the background and achieving the knack of becoming invisible to all her workmates.ÌýThis skill allowed her to practise her favourite pastime of observing people, she loved to watch them.Ìý These days she never joined in with their gatherings or celebrations such as Christmas Parties or weddings, christenings and funerals.ÌýHowever, there was one time when she attended an engagement celebration but no one recognised her without her white coat.Ìý She sat in the corner for a couple of hours holding onto a half empty glass of something warm and sweet, observing and appraising all the male members of the group and trying to make up her mind which one she was going to seduce. When Dolly had her first Heart Attack, most people's comments were "She's got a heart?" or "Who?" As Dolly got older she would have loved a face lift but her finances would not run to that, so she kept piling on the make-up attempting to disguise the lines of age.ÌýTrying to regain her youth, without success.ÌýHowever, she did achieve her own look which was somewhere between a circus clown and Pavarotti (without the beard).ÌýThis constant need for cosmetics meant that she spent a lot of time with the orange ladies at Boots cosmetics counter; indeed it’s where she died in such a spectacular way still holding on to the largest bottle of Christian Dior which broke as she hit the floor. As Dolly died she involuntary released the contents of her bowls and as the two fragrances mixed they made a permanent memory in the discerning noses of the onlookers. It was the first thing that St. Peter said to her when she arrived outside the big Pearly Gates.Ìý"What's that smell?" He asked screwing up his face so that it almost disappeared into his bushy white beard.ÌýDolly, of course just ignored the question. "Now you are here, only one rule, more or less, and that is 'Don't step on the SWIGS!' In fact don't trip over them, don't sit on them, kick them or hurt them in any way, especially the 'Swiglets' as they are the cutest ones of all.ÌýSo, just follow the rule and you will be ok." The gates swung open and Dolly moved through in a bit of a daze, her brain was in a state of confusion as she couldn't believe what had just happened, she had just heard St. Peter use the word 'cute'.Ìý Dolly was sure that 'Cute' was not an ancient Aramaic word which would have been his original language. "Ok... these really are 'Cute', what are they again?" "These are Swigs and the babies are Swiglets.ÌýIt's the Bosses favourite animal, it's a sort of cross between a swan and a pig, only much smaller and with pink feathers.Ìý They were going to be food animals but the Boss banned anyone from hurting them under penalty of eternal punishment. Dolly settled in and began to enjoy the 'Death Style', everyone was friendly and helpful. She missed not having any mirrors in the place or make-up, aware that her lines showed up a lot without a bit of foundation or mask to cover things up. A loud crash next to her made Dolly almost jump right off her feet.ÌýThe woman, Dolly had just been speaking too, had tripped over a young Swig, which had run away squealing in pain.ÌýThe woman pulled herself up using a convenient bush, all the time she was muttering.Ìý"Sorry, sorry, sorry." A black cloud formed around her,Ìýbright green flashes and a large figure appeared beside the woman and chained to her arm.Ìý Dolly stared at him, he was a 'Troll', the ugliest man she had ever seen and they were chained together for ever. As she walked away from the couple, there was another cloud with bright green flashes, but this time the cloud surrounded her and really knocked Dolly off her feet.Ìý"I've done nothing." She mumbled.ÌýThen she felt the heavy chain on her wrist and saw the man that was attached to her, forever...ÌýHe was tall, fit and had bright blue eyes, in fact...Ìýhe was gorgeous! He looked at Dolly and whined, "All I did was step on a swig." Dolly just smiled. | 
