Without warning, Gwen turned into a small cafΓ©, nearly knocking into a man coming out. Dafydd heard the man mutter something, it sounded like 'canary'. Gwen moved to a booth and took off her coat, but kept her hair covered. Dafydd moved to sit with her and nodded when she asked for tea. She looked jaundiced and tired as she took out her purse to get coins to pay. The teas arrived and they sipped in silence. 'Haven't heard from you in ages,' Dafydd said finally.
She sipped her tea slowly. 'It's the war. I'm so busy here, I'm afraid.'
'I don't know where to start,' he said nervously. She smiled but not as far as her eyes.
'You're looking well.'
'Why are you like this?' Dafydd said. Gwen looked away.
'I can't stay long,' she muttered. 'Mrs. Green looks after baby.'
'Whose baby?' Dafydd asked calmly, his mind screamed though for the answer.
'What business is it of yours?' Came the sharp reply and her face flushed.
Dafydd sighed. 'You're using my name and we had our time, once.'
Gwen closed her eyes. 'Well, I can hardly name him after Mr. Price, can I? Think of the scandal. Besides if you were... well unlucky, then at least he would grow up with a hero for a father, not as a bd. This war makes us close to starving here at times.'
She looked at him. 'Don't worry, I'm not expecting it to happen, you're well behind the lines anyway. Don't expect you can even hear the Germans, your far too safe running errands for the French.' 'Gwen,' Dafydd said leaning forward. 'I may not be your brave soldier, but I been shot up and all.' She looked back blankly at him and he sighed and rolled up his sleeve. The skin under the bandage was still clammy and wet in places and he knew where the piece of shrapnel was still lodged, tiny to all but his nerves. Gwen's eyes widened in shock, as Dafydd said softly. 'You don't have to wave a gun to be in danger.'
'I'm sorry, I feel foolish,' she said.
'Am I the father?'
Gwen shook her head, saying. 'I don't know, in truth. You can't think much of me and my loose morals.'
Dafydd shook his head and closed his eyes. He'd been practicing a speech all journey, but it had left him. He took her hand and felt the trembling there. 'I had it all planned what I wanted to say, girl and... well, there we are. I think that you have love for two men, one who can keep you in the life you wish and the other who can't. I'd like to think you love them for different reasons. I'd like to think you can't decide between the two and that your coming here is a cry of help for an end to this wretched war and a return to how it was.' He stroked her hand, but she still wouldn't look at him. 'I came here to tell you of my love, cariad. I loved you since the first day on the harbour wall. I don't want to frighten you,' he soothed quickly as her hand tensed. 'I'm not here to push you into anything. I just had to tell you what I felt the once. I wanted to be sure you know. Take my name for the child. I'll make sure the army thinks it and then if anything happens, you'll get a pension.' Her eyes had closed, but the tears still ran as she bit her lip. Gently she pulled away and shook her head. 'Remember that man we passed on the way in and what he called me. Know why they call us munitions girls, canaries?' Gwen slowly undid her headscarf and shook her hair down. It was yellow, but the powdered yellow of sulphur. It made her skin look yellower and her eyes dim with their redness. There were streaks of green in the hair and Dafydd guessed that these must have been hairs that had gone grey. All the sorrow and hardship of the time had taken its toll. She smiled at him through trembling lips and whispered. 'The explosives do this, you can't wash it off. Tell me, who would want someone like this?' He took her hand gently once more and looked deeply into her eyes. 'You're still Gwen, you'll always be Gwen.'
Her eyes closed and her shoulders began to shake. They didn't move for a long time, and Dafydd felt a lump in his throat. Finally, she sighed and sniffed.
'What do you want of me?'
Dafydd gave a small smile. 'Write to me, keep writing. I need to hear from you. I need to hear a voice of sanity in this madness. One day it will end and when it does, then is the time to talk of other things. Just don't cut me out of your life, not now. Not while I'm so far away and alone.' Gwen smiled and nodded. 'I will.' She looked at the clock on the wall and her face dropped. 'I have to go, Dafydd,' she said, but this time he could feel the warmth return in her voice. 'I have to get my boy.'
'I would like to see the child,' Dafydd said and she rose up.
'We're not far, come along. When must you leave?'
'First train in the morning, I reckon,' Dafydd replied. 'Perhaps Mrs. Green will give you the couch,' Gwen said as she gathered her things.
'That would be good,' he said, reaching out to stop her as she went to tie up her hair. 'Don't. Take my arm and walk with me with pride. Let me show you off and let others think what they will. It's something I wanted to do for ages girl, show you off and I got a few streets in Northampton to do it. Let me promenade you to them.' |
