Even when Fergus was a little boy he said 'I want that' all the time.ÌýHe would shake his rattle at whatever caught his eye and crow "I want that..." until either his mother gave in or she lost her temper and shouted at him.ÌýHe was not a bad child but he wasn't particularly good either.ÌýHe only wanted that piece of cake, that toy or that moment of extra time; he didn't have the imagination then to ask for the impossible.ÌýThat came later, you see. When he went to school his teachers remarked on how demanding he could be and said perhaps he should see the child psychologist.Ìý"He'll never be happy if he keeps saying 'I want that' to every little thing." Fergus went to see the psychologist but only because he thought it was something he might want.ÌýWhen he was in the psychologist's office he wanted her pen, or her books or the pictures on the wall. "Why do you keep saying 'I want that'," the psychologist asked.ÌýBut Fergus could only shrug his shoulders and think about what he might want for tea. Fergus was very persistent.ÌýHe wanted every prize and certificate.ÌýWhen he saw the trophy for the fastest runner he said "I want that" and ran his hardest to win every race.ÌýSadly, his legs were just a little too short and he was never better than fourth.ÌýÌý He wanted to be on the soccer team but he wouldn't pass the ball and when the other sides kept winning he was sent back to the bench.ÌýHe wanted to be the biggest, the strongest or the best; he wanted to be better the rest... As he grew older he abandoned his hopes of being a sportsman.ÌýHe took up the guitar and spent a fortune on having lessons but he was never as good as the musicians he tried to copy and he found the strings hurt his fingers and made them bleed.ÌýMusic wasn't for him, he decided, even the notes were too difficult to read. Fergus threw all his efforts into academic study.ÌýHe took all the most difficult topics, like algebra and Latin, but he was never more than average.ÌýThere was always somebody better at quadratics or could conjugate verbs with ease.ÌýHe was neither the brightest nor the sharpest and the thought was heinous to him.ÌýHe gave up on the idea of going to the best universities and thought a job was more his thing. Before he left school he said "I want to be rich and famous; I want that more than anything else." The careers officer said he should be more practical but he didn't listen to their advice.Ìý"I want to be the richest man in the world" he said but he ended up in an office instead.Ìý Fergus worked very hard at his job; he wanted to be the best he could be.ÌýHe wanted all the promotions, he wanted to be at the top of his profession; but somehow his sales were not as high as the next man's and he was never more than a drone.ÌýThey said he wasn't a 'team player' and they left him to work alone.ÌýFinally Fergus gave up on a career, never satisfied with what he found; he never rose above ground level or made his mother proud. He used his money wisely and thought 'thrifty' was the best way to be.ÌýHe gave up on buying his dream car; they were all too extravagant and needy.ÌýHe went to all the best garages but the salesmen shook their heads, "You can't have this model with economy, try something cheaper," they said.ÌýIn the end he bought the smallest and cheapest and claimed it was the best.Ìý But yet it annoyed him deeply; it was so much worse than the rest... When Fergus wanted to buy a house he said 'I want that' to all the largest and most expensive; he thought they would be a wise investment.ÌýHe annoyed the agents with all his demands; the best view, the best garden, even room for the biggest bed.ÌýBut he didn't have the money and ended up renting a flat instead. Worse than anything, Fergus wanted a wife.ÌýHe scoured the press for the pictures, saying 'I want that' to every porn-star and princess.ÌýHe ignored the lesser princesses that he worked with every day and made himself unhappy dreaming of goddesses and babes.ÌýPoor Fergus, he was not a bad man; neither handsome nor ugly nor vain, he just wanted the best there was: a fine figure and a good brain.ÌýBut he never found a woman to suit him so he never found love at all.Ìý Time passed and Fergus began to realise he had become his greatest enemy; he was Mister Mediocrity.ÌýHe was a little grey man with unfulfilled wishes stacked in his head like unwashed dishes.ÌýHe grew bitter and twisted; nothing tasted quite right or had the right texture. Colours were too bright or just the wrong shade.ÌýSounds were too loud or too quiet.ÌýHe was never content with 'plain'. As Fergus grew old he said 'I want that' much less than before.ÌýThere was nothing more for him to fail at.Ìý"I don't want to live forever" he said finally.Ìý"I don't want that at all." But fate had a final twist for Fergus; there is no end to his sad existence.ÌýHe lives with us still, a man without hope or ambition.ÌýYou can see him feeding the pigeons or sitting alone on the bus.ÌýHe gets in your way at the supermarket and is always causing a fuss. You don't think much of him now, he doesn't impress you at all, you don't want to end up 'like that', you say, and dream of winning the lottery one day. | 
