The prime minister was seated at his rich mahogany desk, surrounded by shelves of volumes of ancient books of law, a rug woven in India by children earning a fair wage. Donned in his favourite navy, pin striped suit, sky blue Armani shirt and light grey tie.Ìý All of this to give the impression of authority while still conveying his welcoming, caring side.ÌýThe perfect picture of propriety. However, he had, once more, found himself faced with another document stating, in detail, how his inadequacy has led to Britain's political and social decline.ÌýIt now seemed that although Government's number one priority at the beginning of this term was to improve upon the miserable state of schooling and education, the only significant different between this attempt and all those previous was to change the slogan from 'education, education, education' to 'excellence, excellence, excellence'.Ìý And in all honesty, what good is that when you are addressing a population of which more than half is illiterate? Frustration was taking over.ÌýSoon they would be coming, the press, the scandalous radio talk show hosts, hunting him down over this.ÌýBut could he really be blamed for the position of comprehensive schools in this year's Off stead reports?ÌýIs it really his fault that there is an community of people, with so little regard to their children's welfare, that they would actively encourage 'skiving' and 'boozing' and numerous other activities detrimental to their child's health. A community whose women, while still girls, are willing to have illegal sex, to become teenage mothers, all in the hope of extra benefits and a council flat? Can this all be attributed to his bad judgement? Then the prime minister suddenly realised something which made him tremble.ÌýHe actually detested and deplored the general public.ÌýHe agonised over having to meet with those who had put him into power.ÌýHe cringed at the thought that his children would mix with children whose mothers were drug addicts, prostitutes or simply 'living off the state'.ÌýWhich is why, naturally, he had always left their education in the hands of the most reliable service he knew, private boarding schools. At least with them you are assured a higher class of student.ÌýOne whose parents can afford the extortionate (even by his standards) tuition fees.ÌýAnd, even more significant, who care enough to actually pay them. On some level, perhaps this has actually always been his reason for keeping tuition fees so high.ÌýIt must have, sub consciously been in all of his campaigning, in his speeches and addresses.ÌýAnd yet he was voted, by the public, to run the country.ÌýIt was at this point he had his major revelation. This country longs for a way out of the endless turmoil that is working class existence. The fast food, the day time television, shopping from bargain bins and 'reduced' ranges.ÌýIt is all a desperate cry for help.ÌýAnd they want me, he thought, they have selected me to aid them in their time of need. A plan was forming in the prime minister's mind.ÌýHis realisation was logically leading to the action that was needed.ÌýFirst it must be broken down into easily digestible points; • The country is in turmoil
• It is due to the working class (abr. 'chav') population
• Everybody longs for someone to put an end to this
• The country has chosen him Next in the political planning process is to consider the options available and their merit.ÌýThe first idea would be to bring all comprehensive schools up to the level of grammar schools.ÌýThis would mean spending upwards of fifty billion pounds a year for the next twenty years (the prime minister had always valued his skill of 'guestimating' outgoings). Where on earth would this funding come from?ÌýNot from the pockets of the lower classes he was trying to help.ÌýIn fact it would have to be drawn from other sections of the education budget.ÌýMeaning, it would actually be taken away from private school.ÌýEffectually all this would suffer would be to bring grammar schools down to the level of comprehensives.ÌýTherefore this plan could easily be discarded immediately. The second point of action could be to abolish all currency.ÌýIn doing this he would make all people equal, nobody would have the financial advantage and thus everything would have to become available to everybody.ÌýHowever, this wouldn't really solve the problem of bringing Britain to a higher general level of intelligence.ÌýIn fact, this would probably only serve to heighten the current situation.ÌýForce would become a bargaining tool!ÌýThe strong, yet intellectually challenged, would take over the best possessions and very quickly the entire nation!ÌýClearly he was 'barking up the wrong path with this idea' as they would say. Then he was there.ÌýIt is said that the simplest idea is often the best.ÌýBut how to initiate it without the huge public backlash it would obviously incur.ÌýIt would have to be kept top secret.ÌýPeople would not understand it was the only way to move the country forward.ÌýBut after it had succeeded he would be heralded as the greatest prime minister ever known.ÌýThey might even rename his post something like 'Grand Minister', or 'Supreme Minister'.ÌýOf course neither of those would actually do, but he could leave that in the hands of his promotional team. Once more, the prime minister's political brain came into operations.ÌýThe next stage is, obviously, more bullet points.ÌýIn all reality, it occurred to him, bullet points are only for the morons who have managed to slip through the net and actually make it into a position of influence, but that soon will be a thing of the past, as the following indicate; • Arrange for interception of all food destined for comprehensive school meals
• Contaminate with pre-established dosage of pre-established chemical
• Deliver all food
• Repeat above steps for all fast food chains | 
