The man found a bench and sat. He checked his rucksack: papers; currency; an onward address. In a minute he would move on. His fingers brushed against suede and he pulled out his grandfather's gift, presented to him before he had embarked on this journey of discovery. Spice- and leather-smelling, pages almost transparent like the skin on the old man's arms, it lay on his lap and the man turned to the flyleaf. The immaculate handwriting of the very old showed the owner's name, and, underneath, the proud stamp of the University. The man placed it in his pocket and moved to the taxi rank. 'Where to, Guv'nor?'
The man knew this word. There had been Governors back home in the old days. 'No, I'm not a Governor,' he protested, 'Just coming over for a visit. I'd like to go to Buckingham Palace first, please.'
'Oh, Liz 'n' Phil's gaff, very nice.' The driver turned the cab and began a frightening series of manoeuvres. The man took out the book.
Gaff - a barbed fishhook. But who on earth were Liz and Phil?
Fortunately the Palace looked comfortingly like pictures back home.
'Wicked, innit?' the driver turned and grinned at his passenger.
Wicked - sinful, iniquitous, vicious, given to immorality 'I'm... not sure.' The man's eye was caught by the sight of the Household Cavalry clopping and clinking its way down towards the Palace. The driver became quite misty-eyed, 'There's yer real England, mate. No place can do pageantry like us. Mind, the Army's not what it was. All this lettin' gay blokes in; country's goin' down the pan. I blame that Elton John - I 'ad 'im in the cab once with 'is boyfriend. Nice as pie 'e was, for a fairy.
Gay - full of or disposed to or indicating mirth Pan - metal or earthenware vessel Pie - dish of meat or fruit enclosed in or covered with paste and baked Fairy - small supernatural being with magical powersΜύ'Where next?'
'Er... Euston Station, please.' The man remembered that from his ticket.
Confusion continued as the journey progressed: GET IN LANE; DON'T WALK!; BEWARE CHILDREN, and most bewildering of all, HEAVY PLANT CROSSIN.
The man glanced at the back pages of his book. "Useful phrases for the traveller."
Please draw me a bath
Please arrange for the following items to be laundered: hose/camisole/combinations. Is there a razor-strop in the bathroom? The driver made an emphatic U-turn and drew up outside the station. 'Want to know the damage?'
Damage - harm; injury impairing usefulness 'The cost.'
The man handed over a fistful of notes.
'Ta mate. Sorted. 'Ave a good one.'
Sorted - separated into groups
The man moved to the escalator and read the instruction: DOGS, CHILDREN AND PUSHCHAIRS MUST BE CARRIED.
Possessing none of these, he used the stairs. In the station he paused, sighing with relief at blessed familiarity. He buried the book at the bottom of his rucksack. No need of it now. He knew the confidence of the global citizen. He gazed round the bustling concourse and feasted his eyes.
COCA COLA; NIKE; ADIDAS; STARBUCKS; PEPSI; MACDONALD'S.
He had come home. |
