麻豆约拍

After suffering racist abuse at the hands of some of the nuns who cared for her, Amina Beraka finds it hard to recall any good times from her 1950's childhood.

Amina, who has lived in Toxteth for most of her life was just a baby she was taken from her parents and lived for the next fifteen years at a convent.

She trained as a tailor in Liverpool, and later worked as the wardrobe mistress at the Everyman Theatre.

Amina is member of faith group 'Liverpool Community Spirit', a multi-faith community group. LCS recently brought together young people with older members of Liverpool's ethnic communities to produce a 'This is Your Life' style booklet with their Elder Buddies project.

As part of the Buddies project Amina told the 麻豆约拍 how she has always been determined to prove herself academically, and how she has found comfort in her faith.

鈥淚 was born in Upper Stanhope Street, and when I was 10 months old I was taken from my parents and put in a convent school. I stayed in the convent school until I was 15.

"My father had two houses - the family house in Upper Stanhope Street and another house in Upper Warwick Street. Upper Warwick Street was used for seafarers when they came home to Liverpool - my father used to look after them. Of an evening they would go out to the clubs and bring home their girlfriends.

"Well one of the neighbours phones the police and said my father was running a brothel - so they came and told my parents that they had to go to court. All five members of my family were taken from my parents there and then, and put into convents. We were all put in different convents, so none of us grew up together.鈥�

As you grew up did anyone ever explain to you why you weren鈥檛 living with your parents?

鈥淣o. I only found out when I came home - my mother told me.鈥�

And what was it that allowed you to come home, how did that happen?

鈥淲hen I was 15 I had finished my school days so they said I may as well go home. When I got home I suffered for five years with nightmares. I used to wake up screaming of a night time 鈥� I was just terrified, I think it was a throwback from the convent days.鈥�

Can you remember what life was like in the convent?

鈥淚 can only remember the bad times you know - I remember when I was five - the teacher was a nun at that time. Well this nun taught the children a parody - it went

鈥楻eally Mr Golliwog, you鈥檙e a funny fellow

With your eyes so bright and trousers bright yellow

I like you Mr Golly but I鈥檓 glad I鈥檓 not like you鈥�.

鈥淎ll the children would be walking around in a circle and I would be in the centre dressed in a red jacket and yellow trousers. The nun used to be standing outside the circle laughing. One day another nun came in and the teacher called her over to look. The nun then took her out of the classroom and I never saw her again.鈥�

What kind of emotions does that stir in you when you look back on that?

鈥淲ell I鈥檝e never forgotten it, and it is very hurtful - I do often wonder how it was allowed. It鈥檚 educational racism - throughout my childhood those children used to sing that parody to me, and point their finger as they said the last line - 鈥業鈥檓 glad I鈥檓 not like you鈥�. Because of the colour of my skin I was singled out all the time."

What is your heritage?

鈥淚鈥檓 African-English. My mother was from St Helens, and my father was West Africa 鈥� Nigeria.鈥�.

Did life get better at all as you progressed through the convent and became older?

鈥淣o. I became very withdrawn. I was against the system, I was against everything. I wanted to fight for my rights. They were constantly pushing me down, and suppressing me - and not allowing me to grow. It was 鈥淪hut up, don鈥檛 say anything, who do you think you are鈥�.

"When I was in school I had one teacher who was really good to me though. When I struggled she would sit next to me, ask what it was that I didn鈥檛 understand, and then explain it to me. I did really well with her, and come the exams I came first in the whole classroom. At the end of the term the high achievers were supposed to be given a prize on prize day. The head teacher came and she said 鈥淚 do not believe that she came first. You sit the exam again while I watch鈥�.

鈥淲e sat the exam again and I still came first. When it came to prize giving day she told the whole school 鈥淚 don鈥檛 believe that this person who says they came first actually did come first. So I鈥檓 giving the prize to the person who came second鈥�.

鈥淢y teacher was sitting there shaking her head.

鈥淎nyway, that experience left me with the impression for years and years afterwards that I was no good. If I tried to achieve in anything I would rubbish it because I can remember being told at school so often 鈥淵ou will never amount to anything鈥�.鈥�

How did you go on with your life once you had left school? How did you take yourself forward?

鈥淭he racism was pretty bad when I left school - I couldn鈥檛 get a job. Every time I went for a job the bosses at the firms would say 鈥淚鈥檒l have to ask my staff if they will work with you鈥�. Then they would come back and tell me that they were sorry but the staff had said they wouldn鈥檛 work with me.

鈥淲hen I鈥檇 go down to the labour exchange I would say 鈥渢hey won鈥檛 work with me鈥� so when they would look for a job for me they would put their hand over their mouth and whisper 鈥渟he鈥檚 coloured you know鈥�. That was a huge issue. The only ones who would take me on were the Jewish firms. So that鈥檚 what I used to do. I worked for a Jewish tailoring firm making suits.

鈥淎fter that I got a job in the Everyman theatre as the Wardrobe Mistress. I dressed stars like Julie Walters and Bill Nighy. I eventually became a dresser - I have even dressed Radio Merseyside鈥檚 Roger Phillips!

鈥淚 had this terrible hankering to prove that didn鈥檛 cheat in school, and it wouldn鈥檛 leave me. So eventually I left The Everyman to do an access course. The teachers there were great - they were really supportive. It was basically a three year course crammed into twelve months and if you pass you can then go on to study for a University degree. I passed it with flying colours and I got a distinction in English. The teachers were wonderful - From there I went onto to university and got my degree.

鈥淭hrough all of it all I wanted to do was to go back to the convent and tell the nuns that I did not cheat!鈥�

What do you think has given you the strength to cope with the sadness you experienced at the beginning of your life?

鈥淚 was a catholic 鈥� I mean in the convent it was a Catholic school, so I leant all about Catholicism. So when I came home I rejected all that because of the hurt I felt. Sixteen years ago I embraced Islam.

鈥淚t鈥檚 a fantastic religion. It has put to rest all those hurtful memories. Now I have the strength to face them. I know there is one God and that God is for you. You can talk to that God 鈥� that God is up all day and night so He鈥檚 there for you. Your prayers will be answered as long as you believe.鈥�