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Tuesday 2nd June

I have been a bit remiss about doing my blog. I just forgot. Could that be due the lack of fags? I think not. Since my last blog I have been on holiday, a big testing point. I think I did really well, only having four or five a day, when before I would have smoked at every possible moment.

Bev from Smoking Cessation did my carbon test and it is about four or five, which is non-smoker level, so I am happy about that. If only I could manage without the one in the morning, lunchtime and a couple in the evening, I will have won the battle, but I still enjoy those. I have tried an inhaler but I really don't like the taste.Ìý

I have noticed I can smell smoke on other people now, and hate the smell in the house. I have gone through loads of candles with various perfumes. Did I really smell so bad?

My big disappointment is my weight. Yes I've piled it on. I've had to go shopping for bigger clothes. That was really hard work, honest. Five years ago I managed to lose weight and went from a size 16 to anything between a 10 and 12. Sorry to say, but I'm back to my previous size. I sent all those 'big' clothes to the charity shop. They would have been out of date anyway, wouldn't they? I am trying to eat more sensibly, but give me a bowl of cherries and I will finish them in record time.

I will get Bev to do another carbon test reading on Friday to see how I'm doing. You can find her at the Open Centre every Friday for help and advice. She's really supportive without looking down on you. She too gave up smoking even though she'd be the first to admit it was a struggle. Wish me luck then.

Friday 7th May

Yipee - I have just had my carbon reading done by the lovely Bev on the Smoking Cessation table in the Â鶹ԼÅÄ Open Centre and I read as a three - which is a definite non smoker reading. As a reward Bev gave me a plastic snake thing that I can fiddle with when I want to hold a ciggie in my hands, and a bookmark.Ìý

I think I must have the full set of freebies from the team, they also have healthy eating advice as well, which is good for me because I am eating rubbish in between meals.Ìý Grapes just don't do it for me it has to be chocolate.

I still have a ciggie in the mornings, but I have been to the doctors and he has prescribed a nicotine inhaler, which might do the trick and get rid of the urge.Ìý I will let you know.Ìý It was a different doctor to the one I usually see, and I went in there all proud of my achievements and all he said, was well think of the money you are saving, which is one of the phrases I said I didn't want to hear, it is not helpful and I obviously know that, I am not stupid

But, the test will be next week I am off on a little break and when you relax with a beer or glass of wine if you are a smoker you will know you really, really fancy a ciggie.Ìý I am proud of myself and if I can do it, people around me will tell you anyone can.Ìý PS I haven't shouted at anyone for weeks, which is another bonus

Friday 17th April

I have to apologise for not updating this more often - but what with work and Easter and stuff, just not had a minute to sit and think about what I should tell you. I think it is good news really, I am down to 4 or 5 a day, sometimes - it is isn't that I even fancy cigs anymore I think it is just habit.Ìý I still seem to want the first one of the day, it just sort of sets me up for the day, I think that will be the most difficult to stop smoking.

I had my Carbon reading again today with the Smoking Cessation guys in the Open centre and it was only 6 - which apparently is what a non-smoker would read, you can get this reading from walking past buses, so I must be doing something right. They have suggested I ask the doctor for an inhaler so that I am just getting a little dose of nicotine rather than nicotine and the bad bad smoke, so if I can get an appointment I will try this out.

This way of giving up is working for me. I know people say you have to say from such and such a day I will be a non smokerÌý - I cannot do that I know I can't. I am better just weaning myself off them slowly, until I suddenly find I have gone a whole day without having a ciggie.

One thing I was worried about was my temper. I am quite an easy going type of person and thought I would get really agitated with everyone whilst in the throws of withdrawal. But I have asked around and nobody has noticed me snapping their heads off, I have apologise now, but I feel quite calm, in fact more calm now than when I was on 30 a day, maybe the fags were making me hypo. I do know that I have developed an urge for more and more cake and chocolate. I will deal with the weight later.

Wednesday 1st April

I'm am not going to fool you, I am still smoking, but not as many as last week. Yesterday I had eight all day, which after 30 plus a day is an achievement. I don't think about wanting one so much and the guilt is creeping in now when I do nip out the back door for a 'Crafty' fag. Get it?

Last Friday I had a chat with the guys on the smoking cessation desk in the Open Centre and they took my carbon reading which I am proud to say was only ten. Apparantly a non-smoker reads at about eight. So, I am going in the right direction.

I do feel the weekends get to me most. When I am at work you can't smoke in the building, so I find I don't bother going out, but when I'm at home, I have to find things to do so that I don't keep sitting down and lighting up. A good tip is to put the cigs and lighter in a drawer, then they are 'out-of-sight, out-of-mind'.

I seem to have urges for cake and chocolate from lunchtime onwards, and I give-in everytime. I must watch this because the weight will go on. It's been there before and it would be easy to pile on the pounds. Maybe a diversion to the fruit shop would be a better and healthier option?Ìý Keep your fingers crossed for me and perhaps by the next blog I can say I'm a non-smoker.

Tuesday 24th March

Sorry to report that I haven't not quite given up the fags yet, although I am now down to about six-a-day, which is a massive drop from the thirty-ish I was smoking. I saw Bev on the smoking cessation desk in the Open Centre on Friday, and once again she did my carbon reading which is now down to 14. Great drop from about 24, two weeks ago.

The doctor gave me a couple more weeks of the drugs, steroids and antibiotics for the chest infection I have managed to pick up. But, I suppose having the bad chest helps with keeping off the fags. Hard to do when you are coughing.

He did warn me you can get strange thoughts and feelings on these smoking drugs, and true to his word, I did on Friday night in bed. I woke at about 3am with a massive headache and you know that feeling when you start thinking about stuff and cannot get back over to sleep? Well, that was me. In the end I got up at about 7am, and had a ciggie. Sort of defeats the object doesn't it?

My son made me think on Saturday though, he got up about lunchtime, well he is only twenty-five and came downstairs and said: "It smells better in here". You don't notice the smell when you are a smoker.

The urges to smoke seem to be less and less, so maybe by the end of this week I can say I am a 'non-smoker'. I am not promising anything.

Wednesday 18th March

Well, I have to confess I fell at the first hurdle. I got up this morning, did the usual routine of brekkie, etc.. and then lit a ciggy. It was only when John my husband came down and said: "What do you think you are doing?", I remembered.Ìý It's an age thing. Honest. I just continued to enjoy the ciggy. I do feel after 40 years it might take me a little longer. Over the past few days I have cut down a lot, and am not enjoying every cig.Ìý I have been told that eventually I won't even think about wanting one.Ìý

I am sure people are quite capable of going 'cold turkey 'and saying "this is it" and never smoking again, and I am also sure I am not one of those people. I am on week two of the tablets which are blue this week. I am going to see the doctor tomorrow to get some more. I wonder what colour they will be?

I am now going to set myself a goals that is to cut down each day. I have managed to halve the amount today, so that's a start, and tomorrow if I can smoke five less than today, that's another goal. I think I have to stop lighting up every time I get in the car, every time I have a cuppa or a meal.

I have got myself some 'sucky sweets'. Sugar free of course, and will try to use them as replacement therapy. I also have my DS. If both hands are in the middle of a game on the DS I cannot smoke as well, so that might help.Ìý I like reading so as long as I have a good book I can get engrossed in the book and not think about fags. I just hope people don't start nagging me, one of my colleagues has said she will tell them off on my behalf if they do, I need encouragement, not condemnation. Please.

Friday 13th March

So this is it! I have announced to the world that I am giving up the ciggies, and have had many messages of support from friends, family colleagues and listeners, and I now feel I won't only be letting myself down, but everyone down. I have to do it, no going back. I have nominated next Wednesday as the day I stop. Lots of people have given me advice on ways to help the cravings, such as drink lots of water. What? With my bladder?Ìý

I did lose it a bit on Wednesday just gone when one of my colleagues when they heard I was about to go on the radio, commented on the amount of money I would save, and what a dirty disgusting habit it is, my reply was: "Look I am old enough and bright enough to know all this so shut it". I have a feeling that there might be a few more outbursts like that before much longer, so for now I apologise in advance. Sorry. Forgive me, I love you all really. More next week when I may have actually achieved my goal. Fingers crossed.

Friday 6th March

I have been told that 11th March is 'Stop Smoking Day' and so as I have recently had heart problems; the decision has been made.

Crafty is giving up the fags.

I know it is going to be hard because to be honest I like them. So, I took the bull by the horns and went to see my doctor, who has been really supportive and is going to help me all the way. I have been on the fags for forty years. Yes I know I don't look that old.

I started by sharing one behind the bike sheds literally at school, buying odd 'Number Six King Size' fags from the corner shop. In the winter we used to go into S Block girls' toilets and if a prefect or teacher came near we all shot into the cubicles, which was a stupid thing to do. Smoke billowing from the top of the cubicles always gave the game away. 'Passive smoking' hadn't even been invented. Anyway, a while ago I mentioned giving up to one of the doctors at my practice and he just gave me a card with the number of the Stop Smoking helpline. The card is still somewhere in the bottom of my handbag, I just ignored it.Ìý

This time the doctor has prescribed me some drugs. You take one tablet a day for the first week and then in week two have two-a-day, and you nominate a day between day eight and 14 to be the day you give up. But, according to the A3 size instruction sheet, by that time I won't really like having a smoke. We'll see.

The side-effects listed cover one side of the A3 sheet enclosed with the drugs. On the label it says: "WARNING! - May cause drowsiness and if affected do not operate machinery or drive". This is going to be fun.