ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ

The combined know-how of Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsay couldn't salvage the unappetising concoction that is No Reservations, a stodgy vehicle for Catherine Zeta-Jones, whose disparate ingredients - family drama, restaurant-set comedy, workplace romance - stubbornly refuse to gel. As Kate, the driven chef at an upscale New York eaterie, Michael Douglas' missus plays an intimidating control freak who's impossible to warm to. Working from 2001 German film Mostly Martha, helmer Scott Hicks doesn't so much remake the material as reheat it.

An obsessive perfectionist with no social skills or external life to speak of, it appears the only way to get to Kate's heart is by using a bread knife. But things change when chance throws two unpredictable elements into her meticulously organised existence: nine-year-old niece Zoe (Little Miss Sunshine's Abigail Breslin), newly orphaned and needing a home; and Nicholas Palmer (Aaron Eckhart from Thank You For Smoking), a flamboyant sous-chef who seasons Kate's sterile kitchen with Italian opera and joie de vivre.

"BRITTLE, ONE-NOTE AND SYNTHETIC"

How these twin agents of chaos melt Kate's steely demeanour and open her up to new possibilities provides the gristly meat in Hicks' undercooked casserole. From the ritzy environs of Kate's Greenwich Village bistro and the tasteful interiors of her uptown apartment to the mouth-watering array of haute cuisine served up before us, one can hardly fault the presentation. With Eckhart miscast and Breslin underused, however, the burden of the film rests on Zeta-Jones' one-note, brittle and rather synthetic performance. If this was a dish, you'd send it back.

No Reservations is out in the UK on 31st August 2007.