ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ

Like the bright orange Dodge Charger that is its heroes' pride and joy, The Dukes Of Hazzard spends an awful lot of time tearing around in no particular direction. Based on the cheesy 80s TV series about a close-knit clan of hillbilly moonshiners, Jay Chandrasekhar's film seems to take pride in being as loud, obnoxious and moronic as humanly possible. With no discernably witty characters, lines or situations to speak of, this flat-footed remake is a real pain in the redneck.

The Duke cousins - Bo (Seann William Scott) and Luke (Johnny Knoxville) - live a casually immoral life in the backwoods of Georgia, running illicit hooch for their wily Uncle Jessie (Willie Nelson) before retiring to the watering hole where shapely Daisy Duke (Jessica Simpson) tends bar. But things will change if the evil Boss Hogg (Burt Reynolds) has his way and turns Hazzard into a coal mine. Can the boys save the day, their home and Jessie's booze, and beat all-comers in the county's annual road rally?

"A FATUOUS FROLIC"

Here's a better question. What knuckleheaded Hollywood buffoon green-lit this brain-dead cash-in on a TV show which most of us can hardly remember anyway? Running out of ideas faster than the boys' car consumes gas, Chandrasekhar's fatuous frolic soon degenerates into a monotonous succession of car chases, bar brawls and multi-vehicle pile-ups, with only Simpson's scantily-clad buttocks to alleviate the tedium. Throw in an embarrassed-looking Burt and a shockingly tasteless blackface gag and the result is a movie only the Ku Klux Klan could love.