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If you still shudder at the memory of "Spice World" then steer clear of "Seeing Double", the first big-screen outing for teen pop tarts S Club.
Formerly S Club 7, this manufactured band - especially created for a Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ children's TV show - became a sextet when Paul Cattermole left to join a heavy metal group. Given the woeful quality of this spin-off, it was a wise career move.
Ostensibly set in Barcelona and California, though shot almost totally in Spain, the ludicrous plot has the fresh-faced starlets - Hannah, Jo, Rachel, Tina, Bradley, and Jon - replaced with identical doppelgängers by a mad scientist.
While their clones jet off on a world tour, the real S Club are forced to fend for themselves without minders, flunkies, or adoring groupies.
If this is meant to be a dig at the group's image as easily biddable, disposable chart fodder, it's a gag that backfires once it becomes clear our heroes are incapable of playing one role convincingly, let alone two.
And what does it say about their audience if they're shown to be just as happy with the bogus line-up as the real thing?
On the plus side, scatty Hannah - S Club's answer to Baby Spice - has terrific comic timing, while Rachel Stevens really is sex on legs.
But dumb blond Jon is boy band blandness personified, while chubby Essex girl Jo looks like she's eaten too many S Club sandwiches.
Energetic musical numbers apart, this is a cynical, cheaply assembled caper that will leave even the most fervent fan feeling short-changed.
