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Somewhere in Hollywood the sound of maniacal laughter can be heard. One thing's for certain: it's not coming from any of the audiences who've had the misfortune of sitting through "The Master of Disguise".
It could well be Dana Carvey and director Perry Andelin Blake chuckling over the fact that they've managed to disguise an unfunny five-minute skit as an 80-minute feature film.
Carvey's main claim to fame (other than partnering Mike Myers through the "Wayne's World" movies in the early 90s) is his uncanny ability as a mimic.
So in "The Master of Disguise" he plays Pistachio Disguisey, a gormless Italian waiter who discovers that his family are part of a secret group of master disguisers. Said group are able to impersonate anyone or anything - from George Bush and Bo Derek to cow pats. And yes, there is a difference.
What follows is quite possibly the worst Hollywood comedy of recent years. Forget "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo ", "Eight Crazy Nights" or even "The Animal" (all of which stemmed from some combination of this writing-producing team).
"The Master of Disguise" makes these lame efforts look like the comic equivalents of "Citizen Kane".
Never have so many jokes clunked off the screen to such a silent audience. And never has 80 minutes seemed like such an eternity.
Carvey - who not only stars but also co-wrote this rubbish - seems to believe that a pointless collection of disguises is enough to fool us into thinking he's made a bona fide movie.
Even the kids this is aimed at will see straight through the fact that this is utter tripe.
When the "funniest" gag involves Carvey disguising himself as a cherry pie, it looks as though the joke is well and truly on us.
