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Posted by kitesurf_zoe (U1575482) on Thursday, 1st December 2005
this is a war poem i have written, plaes tell me what you think of it.
Some may call me brave
Some may call me amazing
Some may say I’m a hero
And some may find me disgusting.
People would never go to the hell I went to
People will never here the true sadness
People will never get it out of me
And will never see the mess.
You may think I’m so great
That I’m braver than you would ever be
But all I truly am
You wouldn’t want to see!
I killed so many for my country
So many lives changed forever
All because of the countries’ pride
But I couldn’t do that again, No. Never!
I fought in that war
I saw so many dead faces
Saw friends fall to the floor
And die in front of my eyes.
I might have saved many lives
But I killed many more
So many families lost their loved ones
All because of what I was fighting for.
I supposedly saved so many lives
But I killed many more
You may think I’m a hero
But all I truly am is a…..
MURDERER!!
Hope you are looking for criticism, because here is some!
As war poems go, it doesn't understand the mentality, or the suffering that the common soldier endures.
Your poem is written purely from a third party perspective, no doubt safe in a room with a "Not in my name" poster on the wall, and basically shows that you do not understand anything that a soldier experiences in battle. To call a soldier a murderer is basically self-righteous at best, and downright insulting at worst, and demonstrates your total lack of understanding of the subject. I would suggest if you want to write a war poem, you actually do some research on war, because unless you do that, you will never come close to understanding the subject, or the horrific experience that war truly is.
You seem to have this image in your mind that all soldiers are bloodthirsty killers, and intent on causing death, mayhem and destruction, whereas in reality, you couldn't be further from the truth.
Sorry if I sound harsh, you did ask for thoughts on your poem. My thoughts are that you simply don't understand the subject, the people involved or the emotional effect of war, and you are only interested in passing judgement, and condemning. Had these "murderers" not stood up and fought in war, then you would now be writing poems of praise to Hitler, in German, instead of having the freedom of speech to slag off those who died to give you this right.
DL
I am largely of that opinion also.
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