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Message 1.Β
Posted by Steve (U14998437) on Saturday, 8th October 2011
I wondered if anyone could help with a subject I have in mind:
Okay, I'm adopted and finding my 'official' past is really important to me, I want to find out out who I am, if I'm honest, very badly.
There is a catch, I don't have any names what so ever as I was an Abandoned Baby back in 1989.
I was wondering if people could suggest any ideas? I thought about areas concerning DNA but I don't know if that would be realistic??
Many Thanks,
Steve -
Message 2
Posted by clematised (U3233879) on Saturday, 8th October 2011
Hello Steve,
This is a difficult situation for you and you must feel despair not knowing your own family background.
Have you searched the local papers for any information at the time of your birth.
Have you tried google search for information.
I dont think DNA will be any help as you have nothing to compare it with.
Have you spoken to the social services about your file from your being found as all relevent information at the time will be there.
Have you considered counselling to help you as the social services offer this to adoptees when they ask for their file, but sometimes they are told the file has been destroyed but the law says they have to be kept about 70 years I think.
Edna -
Message 3
Posted by Drew Peacock (U9721337) on Saturday, 8th October 2011
Hi Steve,
Edna seems to be the member who is most clued up about dealing with adoptions but I don't think she is online at the moment, she will see your message when she logs on though.
Keep checking to see if you have any more replies.
Jen
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Message 4
Posted by Drew Peacock (U9721337) on Saturday, 8th October 2011
Looks like Edna was online
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Message 5
Posted by raundsgirl (U2992430) on Saturday, 8th October 2011
People who are adopted are given counselling before they start looking. Have you had any, if not I suggest you start by asking the social services concerned how to set about it
I presume you know where it was that you were abandoned. It will have been in all the local papers, so I suggest you could write to one of them, telling them your story. Most newspapers would jump at the chance of covering such a 'human interest' story, and after all this time someone may come forward with information.
The DNA route is not much good unless you wanted to establish the likelihood of you coming from a particular family. DNA on its own won't help at all, it's only useful if you have other DNA to compare it with. -
Message 6
Posted by clematised (U3233879) on Saturday, 8th October 2011
I usually suggest that people who are seeking birth mother join Family Tree Forum and they have a board just for adoption/reunion and lots of people who are in a similar situation who have been adopted or siblings adopted.
You can join for free and read through the other threads or add your own thread there and they can offer better advise than this board can.
They also have a Personal Message system where people can ask questions and get a reply in private.
Have you looked at the site people can leave a message or look for a message here.
Edna -
Message 7
Posted by clematised (U3233879) on Saturday, 8th October 2011
This may help you not feel so alone and read how others have coped or done things.
NORCAP have a page called "so you think you are the only one"
Edna -
Message 8
Posted by Steve (U14998437) on Saturday, 8th October 2011
Thanks all on the information.
Edna,
I have already looked at everything you have suggested
I been in a local paper with Wolverhampton, Done the radio too but got no responce. However, the charity I'm with based in Birmingham, is looking into a T.V appeal.
I asked about DNA because I know you can learn all sorts from it, like what runs in it, e.g Irish.
In relation to comparing, there must be like DNA collecting data base somewhere?? -
Message 9
Posted by Drew Peacock (U9721337) on Saturday, 8th October 2011
Steve Im really touched by your message and wish you all the luck in the world. Have you thought of contacting researches for programmes such as are shown at breakfast time or through the day to see if they could put out an appeal for you.
I hope you have a happy outcome to your search and hope you will keep us informed. -
Message 10
Posted by clematised (U3233879) on Saturday, 8th October 2011
Steve,
I have only heard bad reports about DNA in adoption cases and to test for Irish or Viking blood and such will not lead you to finding your birth Mother just leave you very poor.
The best way to go about getting noticed so anyone who had any information can get a chance to come forward, I hope your idea goes ahead and you can get a TV program interested, the Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ have done this already and NORCAP have a facebook page on it in one of the links I gave you.
We are nothing to do with the Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ ourselves as we are all amateur researchers doing our own family history and helping others on here.
Open up a Facebook page yourself with the word Foundling/Abandoned in the heading as people do use that for finding lost family members and the place where you were found or see if there are any similar pages.
Edna -
Message 11
Posted by raundsgirl (U2992430) on Saturday, 8th October 2011
I'm not at all sure about the existence of a DNA database (other than held by the police!) because of Data Protection issues. DNA has its uses, but not in the field of tracing relatives, I fear. There are far too many ready to take your money and promise you all sorts, without delivering.
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Message 12
Posted by Steve (U14998437) on Saturday, 8th October 2011
Thanks again one and all
Edna, TV seems to be the way forward but I will get in touch with the lady who has been allocated my case in the charity, I may have to go it alone like I usually do. At the moment I use my birth name, Steven Patrick to keep my adopted family out of the picture.
The charity I'm working with is merging with another one because of funding issues. So its been a bit quite at the moment.
I thought that would be the case with DNA. I would need someone who could be possibility, e.g. birth mother. Thanks for the advice concerning the DNA though.
If any good come of it, I'll post in on here in the family tree section to let you all know.
If you have further advice, feel free to post on this -
Message 13
Posted by clematised (U3233879) on Saturday, 8th October 2011
Steve good luck with your search and I hope one day you can fit together the bits of info you already have and complete the picture.
If we can help further then please let us know.
DNA will give long past info and a bit like looking through a telephone directory without a name only a number to go on.
Edna -
Message 14
Posted by raundsgirl (U2992430) on Saturday, 8th October 2011
Very best of luck, Steve, and let us know how you get on!
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Message 15
Posted by Steve (U14998437) on Saturday, 8th October 2011
That is the link to the new page you suggested making.
If you could share it like, as many times as possible, I'd really be greatful
Steve -
Message 16
Posted by clematised (U3233879) on Saturday, 8th October 2011
Good Luck Steve and hope you find what you are looking for
Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ may not aprove though as they dont like that site.
Edna -
Message 17
Posted by Steve (U14998437) on Saturday, 8th October 2011
It's for a good cause and it is still family tree, I'm just starting at the very bottom
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Message 18
Posted by BoothHunter (U14812392) on Sunday, 9th October 2011
I wondered if anyone could help with a subject I have in mind:
Okay, I'm adopted and finding my 'official' past is really important to me, I want to find out out who I am, if I'm honest, very badly.
There is a catch, I don't have any names what so ever as I was an Abandoned Baby back in 1989.
I was wondering if people could suggest any ideas? I thought about areas concerning DNA but I don't know if that would be realistic??
Many Thanks,
³§³Ω±π±Ή±πΜύ Do you have an amazing story to tell about your life?
If so please email features@mirror.co.uk with a short summary. Make sure you include your daytime telephone numbers.
We will pay for stories published.
I read your story Steve and found the above article about a similar case.
I had a possible (ridiculous) hunch that your birth mother might have been a student.(I work with young people in London and have seen many young girls over the years who cannot cope with being a young mother)..Then I saw on one of your internet searches you mentioned 'Molineux' - so i searched that and found it is the football stadium on Waterloo rd Wolverhampton. And lo and behold the university is very close by. University means living away from home for many people and perhaps a way of hiding a pregnancy from family?Whoever your birth mother was it is no doubt that leaving you was the hardest thing she had to do in her life.
I realise that your search is a sensitive journey into the unknown and have truly hesitated to write this, but having a friend from New Zealand who has a similar story, know just how important it is for you.
I wish you all the luck in the world...don't give up hope...
please let us know how your search goes...
sincerely
Booth hunter -
Message 19
Posted by Steve (U14998437) on Sunday, 16th October 2011
This is the video I have made for the facebook account
I think it's okay -
Message 20
Posted by clematised (U3233879) on Sunday, 16th October 2011
Good Luck with the Video Steve and hope it brings you some fresh info however small.
Edna -
Message 21
Posted by clematised (U3233879) on Monday, 17th October 2011
Steve
I have added your video clip to Family Tree Forum adoption/reunion boards to spread the word and added it to my own Facebook page too
Edna -
Message 22
Posted by blossom (U8480392) on Monday, 17th October 2011
Steve, I have just watched your video. I thought it was very good and I wish you the Best Of Luck in your search..
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Message 23
Posted by Steve (U14998437) on Monday, 17th October 2011
Edna, thanks for linking the video!
Thanks again for all the support -
Message 24
Posted by clematised (U3233879) on Wednesday, 19th October 2011
Please watch this video if you have not already done so and tell your friends about it.
There is also a Facebook Page to add the link to your home page and share it with others, lets do it for Steve
Edna -
Message 25
Posted by Steve (U14998437) on Sunday, 6th November 2011
Well so far nothing else has surfaced.
I am very grateful for your help but I could do with more ideas??
I do have a lady who is working with a charity in Birmingham, Adoption Support but haven't heard of them for a while. I know they are merging with another charity but there was talk of a TV appeal.
What is peoples view on national papers?? -
Message 26
Posted by clematised (U3233879) on Sunday, 6th November 2011
Hello Steve,
I added your link to U Tube on Family Tree Forum, you could join up there and ask the people who are helping on the sensative issues board where I have put it and see if they have any ideas to help you as they are mostly involved with adoption in one way or another.
I think it all depends on the Birth Mother seeing it and wonder if being pasted all over the news may just send her into hiding but no one can say really as she is the one who it will affect.
She may also be the only one who was involved and so the secret still safe with her.
There was a TV program a couple of years ago which dealt with the same situation as you are in where the two subjects were abandoned as babies.
Edna -
Message 27
Posted by Steve (U14998437) on Monday, 7th November 2011
Edna,
Thanks for the information, I will research it further!
The lady at Adoption Support has got back in touch with me today, everything is sorted with her charity so another 'head' is back in the search.
Derdra, the lady mentioned, has talked about a TV appeal which is the last idea we can do other than National Papers.
I think they are the only way of reaching her. If nothing comes of that, then I can happily abandon the quest.
I'd rather not but I don't want it turn into an obsession
Steve
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