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Gideon Coe permalink
Bread making
This discussion has been closed.
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Message 1.Â
Posted by Mozo (U10059077) on Monday, 19th January 2009
Duffing of the baked goods kind.
Following on from Geoff's request for bread recipes on Thursday's programme, I thought I should put a word in for Spelt. Its an ancient strain of wheat that goes back to the Romans. In fact I use a recipe for Roman Army marching bread which I got off a packet of Spelt years ago. It involves honey, olive oil and assorted seeds. Makes you feel dead rustic it does. Only downside is you started to feel more and more attracted to leather sandals. That's Ok but I find its a bit chilly for the toga round our way at the moment and the gladius gets some funny looks from the postman in the morning.
Have you ever noticed though that bread makers are definitely a bloke thing? I'm not sure if its also a bloke of a certain age thing. Probably being of a certain age myself and therefore having mostly friends of a certain age, its difficult for me to tell. But every time the subject of bread makers comes up its always the men who are using them.
Maybe it has to do with the buttons on top looking a bit like a remote control. Or maybe bread is more masculine that say, cake making. Might make an interesting thesis though, if you're doing a masters in some bready related discipline. -
Message 2
Posted by PeteIsLegend (U10945656) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Hang on... machines, to make bread??? What's wrong with a good round or two of kneading and prooving?
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Message 3
Posted by Lee1975 (U4412355) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Definitely with you there Pete. All this duffer-ly talk of making bread, (scoring high on the "Duffer"-o-meter), quickly un-done with the simple introduction of a bread-making machine, ("Duffer"-o-meter rapidly falls into a negative reading).
I'm only glad that neither Mr Allinson, nor Mr Warburton are alive to see such things. Tsk. -
Message 4
Posted by Andrew Bowden (U178009) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Machines to make bread = evil
I knead the dough by hand every time. Never buy bread in the supermarket any more. -
Message 5
Posted by Mozo (U10059077) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Ah, but Geoff (or Jeff) who was the inspiration for the thread said he was filling his bread making machine and wanted recipes.
Surely using a machine that appears to be mostly the in the domain of men, can count as post modern dufferism. I've made bread both with a machine and the 'natural' way and I have to say the machine wins hands down. Or not,considering you are not using your hands in any particular direction during the process.
In my experience a straw poll of bread making men would reveal extensive use of such devices, mainly because it
A) Involves a gadget
B) Means you can expect praise for providing basic sustenance for the family/partner/children/the birds (feathered variety)
C) Gain huge praise for very little actual work, hiding as we amateur bakers do behind the dubious mystique that is the art of producing such a basic and historic staple.
This all gives you that warm glow of understanding that you are the man of the house and are being seen to contribute your valuable effort to the process of daily survival. The breadwinner if you will. Releasing you from the need to get involved any further with the boring day to day processes of running a household.
OK, the old kneading and flower throwing looks impressive but its far too much hard work when you’ve got serious duffing to do elsewhere like returning this morning’s junk mail to the sender.
Surely its got some sort of duffing element? Someone help me out here. -
Message 6
Posted by gidarmy (U7627527) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
I'm declaring it too close to call and calling in the Duffing Ombudsman. It's the first time she's been called in since the advent of the CD.
Expect a decision sometime in June and in the meantime, do carry on. Good call on the Spelt by the way. -
Message 7
Posted by purrmeister (U11445326) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Spelt ........YUM. But talking of spelt ...throwing 'flower' or 'flour'
Bread machines - less mess (find flour in the kitchen nooks and crannies months later) and if you haven't got an airing cupboard it makes life a lot easier.
Anyway, its fascinating listening to a group of men comparing notes about bread machines (just like they used to do with the car hood up and tools strewn across the pavement).......modern male bonding
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Message 8
Posted by Mozo (U10059077) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Flower? Of course flower! I'm frequently seen juggling the gladioli whilst deftly prodding the on button of the trusty old Panasonic.
Its part of my bready zen yoga routine. It’s a guru like juxtaposition of both flour and flower, teaching one that both are part of the true wonders of creation which allow you to hear one hand clapping, the tree falling in the woods and…stuff.
Some people just don't appreciate that sort of multi-tasking though, being as they are usually fast abed at the time. It all happens in the kitchen at midnight y’know!
I am waiting with breath freshly baited for the decision of the doffing ombudsperson. Is there scope for bribery at any point I wonder? I have some nice warm buns on offer. -
Message 9
Posted by Andrew Bowden (U178009) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
It only takes ten minutes to knead bread by hand. And believe me, it's fantastic for taking out your frustrations with the modern world.
You can pound away, putting everything to rights, scoffing at those miserable gadget junkies and the way they take all the fun out of simple pleasures!
Plus if you treble the amounts, you can do three times as much off one batch -
Message 10
Posted by Mozo (U10059077) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
But how do you prove it when you don't have an airing cupboard? Y'see its all mods cons here I'm afraid, we've got a combi boiler, hence no nice warm water tank to let the bread rise on. Now when I lived in that there London it was a different story, I’d have been kneading for all I was worth then. Mind you I was a younger man, and dough is definitely a younger mans game.
OK, accepted that using a bread machine may be slightly anti-dufferdom but the idea of making your own bread surely qualifies in itself.
Anyway even if it fails the duffer test I could still do with a new recipe for pizza base. -
Message 11
Posted by Lee1975 (U4412355) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Meph - my tip is never, EVER use spelt flour to make a pizza base, it always goes horribly wrong. Stick to strong, white bread flour.
My personal favourite is a certain bread-maker's "Premium, White Bread Flour", which comes in an mid/dark green paper bag. With regards pizza recipes...
500gms of said flour,
1 Teaspoon of salt,
1 Tablespoon of sugar,
2 7gms sachets of dried yeast,
About 300mls of water, (although I don't own scales and never intend to buy any, if you can't tell you need to add more flour / water to the dough you really shouldn't be making bread in my opinion!),
In a big bowl, mix the dry ingredients and then make a well in the middle.
Add the water and start to bring together with a folk until the dough sticks to the folk and makes it difficult to mix any further.
Now start using your hands to bring it all together, adding more flour if overly wet or more water if too dry a little at a time.
As the dough starts to come together but still has "cracks" in it, I add a generous slug of extra virgin olive oil to it.
Knead for a good 5 minutes then cover with cling film and place in a warm place, (strangely this is the down-stairs loo for me!).
After 1 hour bring it out and briefly knead again.
Now cut off enough dough for your pizza base, working the dough with your fingers, (never, EVER use a rolling-pin - it's just plain wrong), into a nice flat shape which will fit your baking tray, (or stone if you're posh).
Oil the tray with a little more olive oil to prevent the pizza from sticking.
Place the flattened dough on the tray and then cover with your tomato sauce and then lumps of mozzarella cheese, (leave a gap of about 1-1.5cm at the edges to serve as your crust).
Top with whatever you like and then cook in an oven at 200 degrees C. until the cheese starts to turn golden and bubble.
Remove from the oven and place the pizza on a rack or plate to cool for about 5 minutes.
Then cut and serve, (incidentally, I always use scissors to cut my pizza as it's so much easire than a knife and doesn't risk your breaking a plate like a pizza cutter does).
Enjoy.
(By the way, do I lose duffing points for going all continental and metric rather than using imperial measurements? Dash and blast!) -
Message 12
Posted by Ddik Trebor (U202315) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
But how do you prove it when you don't have an airing cupboard?Â
Useful tool that there Google. -
Message 13
Posted by Andrew Bowden (U178009) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
But how do you prove it when you don't have an airing cupboard?Â
Next to a radiator or fire, or in a generally warm room. Often I'll just leave mine in the kitchen because mine is reasonably warm even with the heating off. As long as your room isn't ice cold you'll usually be fine. If heat is a bit too lacking, proving will just take a bit longer.
Also if you use warm water or milk as that will help speed up the process too. Delia suggests warming flour in the oven as well - never tried that myself. -
Message 14
Posted by U6679583 (U6679583) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Funny this one should come up - we just got the breadmaker out after years of buying the sliced stuff. Trying to save pennies.
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Message 15
Posted by Mozo (U10059077) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Good to hear there's another techno baker out there Fist!
We too had a bread maker for about 10 years before using it in earnest. I used it as therapy in the early mornings during a period when opening the mail could be quite traumatic. I always found the process of putting it all together calming for some reason. Our original machine had a glass roof so you could watch it rise, giving positively minutes of enjoyment and anticipation.
Not only cheaper but better for you. I bung loads of seeds and stuff in ours and the equivalent article in Sainsbury’s is, as you say, about twice the price. Only thing we must get round to doing though is freezing a loaf so that when I forget to make some we have bread in reserve.
Blimey listen to me getting all domestic and that.
Thanks for the tips on the manual system though, will possibly give that a try when I'm feeling in a luddite frame of mind. Will certainly try the pizza dough recipe though, maybe even tonight! -
Message 16
Posted by purrmeister (U11445326) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Next to a radiator or fire, or in a generally warm room. Often I'll just leave mine in the kitchen because mine is reasonably warm even with the heating off. As long as your room isn't ice cold you'll usually be fine. If heat is a bit too lacking, proving will just take a bit longer.Â
I'd get cat paw prints in the loaf........... -
Message 17
Posted by Mozo (U10059077) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
There is also the problem of living in the middle of nowhere in a natural wind tunnel. Our house doesn't get properly warm until about July, unless its actually on fire.
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Message 18
Posted by U6679583 (U6679583) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Hey - its all Rock'N'Rolls kids!
Geddit?
[tumbleweeds] -
Message 19
Posted by Mozo (U10059077) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Nope
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Message 20
Posted by purrmeister (U11445326) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Hey - its all Rock'N'Rolls kids!Â
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Message 21
Posted by purrmeister (U11445326) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Oh, Gordon Bennet - use yer loaf and read it carefully!
Sorry - getting into bready jokes now...... -
Message 22
Posted by Mozo (U10059077) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Oh roight...sorry...doh!
Its been a long day.
Anyone fancy some toast? -
Message 23
Posted by gidarmy (U7627527) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Might this be a good time to encourage stupid baking-based musical puns?
Perhaps not, but my favourite Lost Consonant cartoon was the one which was captioned;-
"Every time the doorbell went, the dog started baking."
If I had the wherewithal I'd provide a link to the accompanying picture. But it featured a dog, a labrador I think, with a bakers hat on and a tray of cakes. Or possibly jam tarts. -
Message 24
Posted by Mozo (U10059077) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
How about Yeasterday by the Beatles?
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Message 25
Posted by Ddik Trebor (U202315) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Oh roight...sorry...doh!
Its been a long day.
Anyone fancy some toast?Â
shouldn't that be dough! -
Message 26
Posted by Mozo (U10059077) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Loaf rider - War
Bap for good - Bake That! -
Message 27
Posted by Mozo (U10059077) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Very good Freaky!
*Grin*
How about Buddy Holly's great hit I guess it doesn't ciabatta any more?
Or in a similar vein there's Little Richard's opening vocalisation to Tutti Frutti
'Womp-bomp-a-loom-op-a-womp-BAP-boom' -
Message 28
Posted by Ddik Trebor (U202315) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Town without pita - Gene Pita-ny
Bagel Steal or Borrow - New Seekers
Granary We Love You - St Winifred's School Choir
Naan Of Us Are Free - Ray Charles
Loaf Me Do - The Beatles -
Message 29
Posted by Ddik Trebor (U202315) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Echo Batch - Martha and the Muffins
you're going to regret this you know, I'm already starting to... -
Message 30
Posted by U6679583 (U6679583) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
I'm really, really sorry.
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Message 31
Posted by Mozo (U10059077) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Anytime you knead a friend - Mariah Carey
Mouldy old Dough - Lieutenant pigeon (OK not strictly a pun)
You bake me feel like a natural woman - Aretha Franklin
Prove it – Television
The first time ever I saw your cake - Roberta Flack
Bake rattle and roll (double word score)- Bill Haley and The Comets -
Message 32
Posted by gidarmy (U7627527) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Crumpet Voluntary
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Message 33
Posted by Mozo (U10059077) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Sandwich Bloody Sandwich - Black Sandwich
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Message 34
Posted by Ddik Trebor (U202315) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Donut Forsake Me - Tex Ritter
Pain in My Heart - Grateful Bread (one for our French cousins)
Wonderloaf Life - Black
The Real Slimcea Shady - Eninem -
Message 35
Posted by U6679583 (U6679583) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
"Every Day I Wake Up and I Thank The Lord It's Welshcakes."
Papa was a Rolling Scone.
ENOUGH! - I'm off to take a bath and then wait in bed for the Butthole Surfers session. This is BIG NEWS in our house (I mean the Butthole Surfers session is big news- not the bath. We're not French) -
Message 36
Posted by U6679583 (U6679583) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
PS Listening to a Talk Talk album right now, - what I got in the sales. (PAY NO MORE THAN £2.99! is my new slogan).
By God they got very good towards the end, did they not? -
Message 37
Posted by Mozo (U10059077) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Say it aint dough - Murray Bread
Sliced sealed delivered - Stevie Wonderloaf
Papa's got a brand new baguette - James Brown(ed) -
Message 38
Posted by gidarmy (U7627527) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Ah.. been meaning to tell you. The Butthole Surfers is actually Thursday. Apologies. Though if you take a really long bath...
Spikelet the Beloved Entertainer by Hovis Costello. -
Message 39
Posted by Ddik Trebor (U202315) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
PS Listening to a Talk Talk album right now, - what I got in the sales. (PAY NO MORE THAN £2.99! is my new slogan).
By God they got very good towards the end, did they not?Â
From 'Loafs What you Make It' onwards, in fact. -
Message 40
Posted by Mozo (U10059077) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Talk Talk - Big fan me (its a long story)
I thought they were pretty good from the start really. There's also some great live stuff if you can find it with interesting re-arrangements of songs. There's an absolutely brilliant version of Does Caroline Know? on a live video that's knocking around somewhere from the late '80s. They had a great line up then with one of my absolute fave guitarists David Rhodes. Maybe its about in the Â鶹ԼÅÄ archives if perhaps some nice kind DJ could find it for his show.
Butthole surfers I'm afraid I just don't get though. I've tried. -
Message 41
Posted by U6679583 (U6679583) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
GAH! Another 48 hours!
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Message 42
Posted by U6679583 (U6679583) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Honestly mozo - it's like captain beefheat, or one of those 3d pictures of dolphins. You just have to be patient, put up with the headache for a bit, and then suddenly it all falls into place.
If this coming session is the peel one from circa 1988, I tell you it's one of the best bbc sessions I've ever heard. -
Message 43
Posted by U6679583 (U6679583) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
In other breaking news, Mrs Fist has been restored full messageboard priveliges.
It turns out they thought SHE was ME. That's why they banned her.
Why didn't they just ban me? Why, having realised their mistake, have they still not banned me?
It's all too complicated, I'll enquire no further, and just add
"Crust Never Sleeps" - Neil Young & Crazyhorse. -
Message 44
Posted by Dr_Gonzo (U11268011) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
And just to prove the return of Mrs Fist..
Doughnut think twice it's alright - Bob Dylan
Never mind the Cobblers - Sex Pistols
Oh it's good to be back. -
Message 45
Posted by knerak (U10891878) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
when i knead you - leo sayer -
Message 46
Posted by knerak (U10891878) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
raise you - fat boy slimcea -
Message 47
Posted by Dr_Gonzo (U11268011) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Thank you for the Glaze - The Kinks
Baps the Way - Led Zeppelin -
Message 48
Posted by Ddik Trebor (U202315) on Tuesday, 20th January 2009
Rise - PiL(sbury dough boy) (sorry...)
I Would Dough Anything For Love - Meatloaf
Release The Baps - The Birthday Party
One Loaf/People Get Bready - Bob Marley
The Buns Of Brixton - The Clash -
Message 49
Posted by hank plankton (U4792100) on Wednesday, 21st January 2009
This looks fun. Can anyone have a go?
This Charming Naan - The Smiths
Inspiration - Yeasterhouse
and anything by Chapatti Smith -
Message 50
Posted by PeteIsLegend (U10945656) on Wednesday, 21st January 2009
Proove - I am Kloot.
London Calzone - The Clash
Pizza tip - get a stone, and get the oven as hot as you can.
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