What’s really going on when kids pretend?
Pretend play is one of the most important ways that children learn about themselves and the world around them. Pretending develops a whole range of skills children will use throughout their lives. You can support your child's pretend play at home by helping them to label feelings and explore difference, and by taking their play seriously. Here are some easy ways to get started...
1. Pretend play builds empathy
It takes a long time for children to fully understand that everyone experiences the world differently. Pretend games – such as using toys to act out scenarios – allows children to explore why other people behave the way they do.
Try this:if they're role-playing with a toy, use specific questions such as ‘how do you think the bear is feeling?’ to get little ones thinking about different people's experiences. Younger children will need help naming emotions, so you might ask ‘is the bear worried?’ Encourage older children to gauge how strong the emotion is by asking ‘do you think the bear is very worried or a little bit worried?’
2. Pretend play prepares you for work
Negotiating the ‘rules’ of playground games develops lots of skills kids might use at work later on: working together, delegating, making a plan and transferring knowledge from one situation to another. You can see this for yourself when children are planning a dance routine, organising a game like skipping, or acting out a scene - just like these Biggleton residents collaborating to solve a problem.
Try this: if your child is struggling to stay focused on mundane tasks like homework or tidying, suggest they do it in character and pretend to be their favourite superhero, animal or even a robot. Recent research shows this type of pretending can help children stay ‘on task’ for longer.
3. Pretend play develops communication
When they’re pretending, children naturally start using more advanced language such as the future tense and subjunctives (what if...?). If your child is less verbal, you might notice they talk more than usual during imaginative play.
Try this: play alongside your child and commentate on what is going on; “we are sharing”, “now we are being doctors”. Avoid asking questions or prompting too much – leaving a silence lets children process what they’re learning, often by talking out loud to themselves.
4. Pretend play can regulate emotions
Pretending lets children mentally 'rehearse' scary or worrying situations and find ways to cope. Watching a child play can give you clues about things they might be concerned about in their own lives.
Try this: notice how your child comforts toys in their game – this can reflect what they themselves would find calming in a real situation. You could even encourage them to try out sensory techniques like deep breathing during their play, just like the children from Biggleton did on their camping trip.
5. Pretend play teaches you about yourself
Play is one of the first ways you learn about yourself and begin to express your opinions. Within their games, children can explore what they like and dislike, find out what they’re good at and discover things they want to learn more about.
Try this: take turns to answer the same question about yourselves and your likes and dislikes. This starts to show your child that you’re an individual with different interests to them. Label how you feel about things to help young children learn about different emotions.
6. Pretend play helps you to make decisions.
Children find it very difficult to step outside of the present moment and consider their future needs. Playing out things that happened in the past, or might happen in the future can help them to “time travel” mentally and learn to use their past experiences when making decisions.
Try this: ask your child to draw themselves at a specific time in the near past (for example, what they were doing before lunch), and the near future (such as what they will be doing at bedtime). Looking back at photos can also help children reflect on past experience and think about how they handled things.
7. Pretend play encourages creativity
Creative thinking is an integral part of pretending. The more children play, the more they develop their creativity. Research has even found that creative-thinking individuals, such as Nobel Prize winners, often did lots of make-believe play as children.
Try this: grab some arts and crafts supplies (or use our Make A Picture tools for a mess-free masterpiece)and give your child free rein to make or do whatever they want. Watch the magic as the creative process unfolds!
8. Pretend play doesn’t stop when you grow up!
Play is vital for children, and it can help adults de-stress too. There’s been a huge rise in the number of adult ball pools, escape rooms, zombie walks, and other immersive experiences that let you forget your worries and become a big kid again.
Try this:throw yourself into a made-up game with your little one, have a night out at an Escape Room, rekindle an old skill like hula hooping or just try the climbing frame at the park. Give yourself permission to play and remember why it’s so important to you and your child.