Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ

I have been expressly forbidden from using the word "merger" about the UUP-Conservative love in (by the UUP that is). But in these days of rather bigger mergers and acquisitions it's hard to get too worked up about this potential new political "force".

In truth the entire Conservative conference became a side show after the US House of Representatives voted down President Bush's bank bail out. In a hastily prepared speech, David Cameron did a good job of sounding like a statesman, but it's now up to the banks, traders and governments to make the real running.

For those still interested, at around 9.45 this morning Sir Reg and his band headed up to the Cameroonian suite, got a brief word with the man, then emerged to tell us that consultation would continue, the DUP should stop being rude to its hosts and Jeffrey was in no position to talk to anyone about splitting unionism.

Sir Reg made a point of saying that he didn't believe Prime Ministers should be neutral on the union. (That might be a reference to the view of some in the UUP that the Conservatives should take Peter Brooke's statement that Britain has "no selfish strategic or economic interest in NI" off the table).

Otherwise the story hasn't moved on and, although the Tory leader will give it a mention in his main speech tomorrow, the focus will now turn to the UUP Conference at the end of the month for any further developments.

It's a shame this wasn't the venue for an announcement of a new "Conservative and Unionist" force because it would have had a nice sense of historical symmetry.

The "Conservative and Unionist" tag has its origins in the merger of the Conservatives and the Liberal Unionists of Joseph Chamberlain. Birmingham's most famous Mayor, Joseph Chamberlain split with Gladstone over opposition to Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ Rule.

Last week I wrote that Manchester was so sunny the city fathers should have imported a few tons of sand to create an urban beach. Well on your way into this conference you do pass just such a beach. However now the weather has turned wet and chilly I don't see any Brummies braving the deck chairs, especially not at 6.30 in the morning when I make my way in for the early turn on "Good Morning Ulster".

P.S. Rumour has it that Lord Trimble travelled here by barge and took three days enroute.

P.P.S. A DUP press release issued in the name of Robin Newton attacking the UUP for hooking up with the "Armani suited hierarchy" of the Tories raised some eyebrows with Conservative MPs who had it in their hands as Jeffrey Donaldson opened the party's fringe meeting yesterday. Some didn't like the emphasis on the association between the Conservatives and "reckless city types". But the more classically educated took offence at the spelling of the sentence telling Sir Reg Empey that he could not wash his hands "Pontius Pilot like" of his guilt by association.

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I just caught a brief word with the Tory leader, and found him proclaiming himself a "passionate unionist". He clearly wants to seal the deal on his courtship of the Ulster Unionists. But asked about the failure, so far, of Lady Sylvia Hermon to indicate any willingness to take the Conservative whip, he acknowledged there are difficulties in negotiating the new "movement" and it is "a lot to ask" for some people to sign on the dotted line.

When you to talk to some NI Conservatives they see what's afoot as very much a merger, forming a "Conservative and Unionist Party". But Sir Reg Empey and the Ulster Unionists don't go along with that. Instead Sir Reg talks about creating a common "campaigning vehicle".

The DUP fringe meeting around lunchtime brought some of the arguments surrounding the courtship to the fore. Jeffrey Donaldson renewed his old argument with David Trimble, contending that Lord Trimble's assertion that the Tories would fight every constituency would damage the union, by ruling out pacts in places like Fermanagh and South Tyrone. He also claimed that Lord Trimble was still the real UUP leader, not Sir Reg.

The DUP faced some hostile questioning from NI based Conservatives who accused them of representing a narrow sectional Protestant only form of unionism. Predictably Jeffrey Donaldson didn't agree, and he got support from one English delegate who claimed the DUP were the "true patriots" and the NI Tories were a "joke" who should be expelled.

Sir Reg Empey is now in Birmingham and a meeting is expected between him and the Conservative High Command in the morning. There are strong indications that David Cameron will pay the Ulster Unionists a return visit for their annual conference at the end of October, but that will probably depend on the deal being sealed.

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Lord Trimble must be in his element. A narrow boat enthusiast, he finds himself attending a Conservative conference in a city which has more canals than Venice. When I broadcast on the "Politics Show" this lunchtime, a long procession of barges floated past in the background, including one rather incongruous boat which had two armed police officers near the bow and the skipper and his dog at the stern. I rather hoped they were making their way along the "Grand Union Canal", but sadly I discovered the waterway was the "Birmingham Canal".

Lord Trimble himself brought up the stern of day one of this conference, making the closing speech. He didn't indulge in any criticism of the DUP, instead he painted a broader canvass of what he views as the shared values and institutions of the union. He criticised the SNP and the Labour government and promised that the Tories would fight every seat in the UK, including every seat in NI. He believed people would be surprised and "delighted" by the results.

The Conservative spokesman, Owen Paterson, repeated his talk of future NI junior ministers or Cabinet ministers. Some here think a merger between the UUP and the Tories is "a done deal". Others worry about the apparent ambivalence of the UUP's only MP, Lady Sylvia Hermon.

Apart from offering a political argument to counter that of the DUP, the merger could provide a financial lifeline for the UUP. Having lost so much Westminster funding the party is having to lease its HQ to make ends meet. I have heard talk here that if it becomes the "Conservative and Unionist Party" it could stand to gain as much as Β£40,000 per seat towards its campaign costs in the next General Election.

The DUP hold a fringe event tomorrow. There had been rumours that Peter Robinson would be here, but I gather that Jeffrey Donaldson, Mervyn Storey and Michelle McIlveen are lined up for roles as Daniels in the Lions Den.

If the DUP had voted differently over 42 days would everything be different? Or was it Iris's comments which made a more negative impact on the Cameroonians? Either way do the DUP really have that much to fear?

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As I am off to Birmingham tomorrow to cover the Conservative conference, and have miserably failed to record this weekend's programme already, my colleague Martina Purdy has kindly offered to stand in for me. Her guest will be the Deputy First Minister Martin McGuinness and the programme will be broadcast as usual on Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ Radio Ulster at 12.45 pm.

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Discussing the reasons for the current gridlock at a seminar yesterday, I confessed that I cannot quite see the logic of the DUP's "community confidence" argument. If they were asking unionists to accept Gerry Kelly as Justice Minister, then the need for lots of time to elapse might be completely understandable. But the party has already negotiated with Sinn Fein a method of choosing the minister which will allow them to veto any republican. Will David Ford or Naomi Long be different people in, say, 6 months time?

Of course some DUP sceptics might not have taken this completely on board, or may be so disenchanted with the current arrangements that the veto means nothing to them.

However presuming this is a small minority, why would the DUP want more time?

One explanation is that they don't want to be seen to back down under Sinn Fein pressure. According to this interpretation republican tactics are forestalling the agreement on a timetable they profess to seek.

Then there's the small matter of getting an Alliance politician (or some other compromise candidate) to play ball with the system of appointment.

There is the fine detail of the departmental structures (Jim Allister has made great play of the DFM getting oversight of judges and the DUP would have to iron this out if they are to insulate themselves from further TUV criticism).

But I think the biggest pending question might be finance. Policing here costs around Β£900 million a year. I haven't a ballpark figure for the courts and the prisons, but clearly they would take the overall bill up to something between Β£1 billion and Β£2 billion. Taking on these kind of outgoings without firm guarantees of the funding would be foolish, no matter where you stand on the green orange spectrum.

The government has already legislated for the possibility of a "policing precept" here whereby money could be raised locally for the PSNI (the precept already exists in the English regions). But the Stormont politicians won't be in any hurry to follow water charges with a police charge.

So as an MP put it to me, Westminster will have to come up with a wad of cash. Or as Yogi Berra would put it, "it's deja vu, all over again" (and for those of you getting deja vu, that's not the first time I've reached for that quote).

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When I first heard that Peter Robinson and Martin McGuinness were going to today's Edinburgh Festival of Politics a/k/a the British Irish Council, I interpreted it as a possible sign of movement in the gridlock. Now I'm not so sure. Next Friday a North South Ministerial Council is due. Sinn Fein will argue that it has let the BIC proceed, so unionists must reciprocate. However the DUP will probably say that there's an Executive meeting due at Stormont Castle on Thursday so that would be the proper place to clear papers for the NSMC. If there's no Executive, it's hard to see unionists assenting to an NSMC. Maybe everything will be sorted out by then, but as things stand brace yourselves for more recriminations around the end of next week.

(If you can't follow any of that, I should explain that whilst nationalists are keen on the all Ireland North South Ministerial Council, unionists insisted on the establishment of the British Irish Council to emphasise the importance of East West links within the Atlantic archipelago.)

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I've been pointed to the Middle East based web publication "The National". You have to register to view the contents, but if you do you can click on an interview with former IRA prisoner on the topic of the Maze prison escape. He tells the National that the old jail should become a "university of freedom". So that's the trajectory of the republican struggle, then. From mortars to mortar boards.

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The SNP leader Alex Salmond will be meeting our First and Deputy First at the British Irish Council in Edinburgh tomorrow. The fact that our top two are going could be interpreted as a bit of a straw in the wind that the DUP-Sinn Fein stand off might be easing - last week Peter Robinson listed the BIC as one of the institutions which would suffer a knock on effect from the failure to convene an Executive meeting.

During their trilateral meeting with Scotland and Wales, the FM and DFM may want to look closely at the Scottish representative just to make sure he is the SNP Chief Honcho and not the SDLP Chief Whip. After putting out his statement about a "part-time Assembly" earlier this week, Patsy McGlone was surprised to open up a copy of the Belfast Telegraph to see his comments and his name beside a picture of Alex Salmond. Roll on the SNP-SDLP Voluntary Coalition..

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The Stormont Brasserie Restaurant had been planning to hold a "Titanic Theme Night" this Friday. For Β£20 a head MLAs and guests would have been able to enjoy oysters, salmon and other less fishy food. But yesterday an e-mail went out to inform the politicians that "due to unforeseen circumstances" the theme night has been postponed.

I'm not sure which iceberg the theme night hit. Perhaps holding a Titanic night at a time when the Executive appears to be sinking below the waves wasn't such a great idea...

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Although the lap top worked like a dream at the Labour conference, I wasn't able to get any wireless connection at Manchester airport so wasn't able to give you the update on the Labour membership in NI vote. If you haven't read it elsewhere on our website, nearly 90% of delegates rejected the Islington North proposal.

Also since I wrote "Stateside" Jeffrey Donaldson has declined to pick up the "Peace Dove" award with Gerry Kelly, apparently in protest against the Sinn Fein minister's conrtibution to the Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ Maze jail programme "Breakout".

Stormontspy asks if I am going to the Tory conference. The answer is yes, I shall be keeping an eye on the UUP-Conservative courtship and putting the stopwatch on David Cameron to see if he gives us more time than Gordon Brown. All this to-ing and fro-ing makes me feel even more like a blow-in as I pass through Belfast.

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Northern Ireland got a mention in the PM's speech this afternoon, although to say it was a glancing reference would be an overstatement. He pledged to complete devolution, but provided no detail as to how he intends to do it.

Otherwise I found it a solid, relatively impressive performance, more convincing than the speech by David Miliband yesterday. He told the party rebels the people would not forgive them if they looked inwards at this difficult time and defended Labour's track record during more prosperous times against Tory attacks by insisting that "we did fix the roof while the sun was shining."

I'm still waiting to find out if NI has been expelled (it seems unlikely). The conference has adjourned for the day and the Labour press office says the result of the vote should be announced tomorrow.

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Although Northern Ireland people have addressed the Labour conference before in their capacity as trade union delegates, Boyd Black made history this morning when he became the first NI constituency delegate to speak from the platform in a hundred years.

He was opposing a move by Islington North and Luton South to prevent the Labour party organising in NI. Islington North's Ceri Holywell argued that Labour shouldn't compete with the SDLP and its 200 local members should be reassigned to the party's international section.

But the move was opposed both by the Labour National Executive Committee and a speaker representing Labour's Irish Society. The general assumption is that, when the votes are counted later today, the proposal will be rejected.

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The credit crunch might mean that some businesses are considering a four day week, but the SDLP's Patsy McGlone reckons the Assembly chamber could soon be reduced to a one day week. Mr McGlone says the Executive stand off means no Executive business is being forwarded for debate in the Assembly. "The SDLP" he says "has no intention of allowing it to be turned into an occasional or part-time debating club at a time when people are crying out for action."

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When Jeffrey Donaldson finished his "Champ" Breakfast in Manchester this morning, he headed straight to New York where he is attending a Cooperation Ireland dinner. Together with his counterpart as junior minister Gerry Kelly, he is accepting a "Peace Dove" award (so it's only in the Stormont Castle Executive room that our ministers can't meet).

Also flying out is Gerry Adams, who is meeting the New York officials behind the "Emerald Fund" announcement and attending Bill Clinton's "Global Initative".

I don't know if any of our politicians are hoping to bump into Senator John McCain. The Republican candidate, however, has been talking about Northern Ireland at an He pledges to appoint a Special Envoy and to do whatever he can to help us over the "last major hurdle" of the devolution of justice.

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The Tories say they have that Labour's conference will cost Β£6.5 million in security alone. I don't have to hand any accurate guesstimate for the overall cost of this jamboree. But I do have beside me a pamphlet written by Paul Haslam, from the Labour Members in Northern Ireland group, which provides a lot of fascinating financial detail about the First Labour Party Conference, which took place in Belfast in 1907.

The venue was the YMCA's Wellington Hall and a letter to Ramsay MacDonald reveals that the total fee for the 2 day event was Β£10 10s.

The organisers did not have to worry about security, but they did have to order pencils, safety ink bottles and pens "at intervals along the tables to enable delegates to write letters if desirable". Hot topics included women's suffrage and whether the Labour Party should be unequivocally "socialist", a term which then had more of a revolutionary connotation than nowadays.

The founding father of the Labour Party, Keir Hardie, addressed a public meeting in the Ulster Hall. According to the newspaper "Labour Leader" he delivered "perhaps the best speech in his life" rejoicing "in this meeting as a sign that the old order of religious bigotry was passing from Belfast, and a new era of Labour and Fraternity had begun".

Well Keir obviously didn't have a crystal ball. War and partition followed, and by 1919 Labour was refusing affiliation to the Belfast party. In more recent years a series of court actions forced the Labour hierarchy to overturn the ban on the party organising in Northern Ireland. Now local activists say Labour has 210 members in Northern Ireland. Not a lot, although they claim to be the only region in the UK which is actually increasing membership.

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Sinn Fein councillor Mary Doyle is asking Armagh council officials about why they have spent Β£5000 each year for the past decade providing toilets for loyal parades. She is concerned that other groups were not aware of the possibility of such funding for their events and when she asked council officials for details of the toilet policy she claims to have been told "it had not been possible to locate".

Ms Doyle wants Armagh's toilet policy in the future to be "open and transparent". Let's hope their cubicles aren't.

("Transparency" in this regard reminds me a bit of a bar I used to frequent in New York which had see-through loo doors, apparently in the full view of the assembled clientele. First time visitors would approach the toilets, clock the transparent doors, then pause whilst they made a decision on the urgency of their call of nature. If they were lucky, however, they could get reassurance by observing another visitor spend a penny, as the loo doors would magically turn opaque once the cubicle was occupied, thus preserving everyone's dignity.)

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It's a weird situation we find ourselves in, as the compere of the annual Ulster Champ Breakfast at the Labour conference, Channel 4's Gary Gibbon pointed out. In between chomping on their soda bread, guests heard Sinn Fein's Pat Doherty bemoaning the fact that Ian Paisley is no longer the leader of the DUP ("Peter Robinson doesn't have Ian Paisley's charisma"). Then the DUP's Jeffrey Donaldson argued that Gordon Brown's speech at Stormont last week showed he was no Tony Blair.

It all sounded a bit like Lloyd Bentsen's famous line "Senator, I knew Ian Paisley/Tony Blair, and you're no....(delete as appropriate)"

This outbreak of nostalgia, of course, takes us no closer to sorting out the gridlock. But at one point Jeffrey Donaldson acknowledged that devolving justice was something that "was not in the realm of the never, never" and Pat Doherty agreed that it could once again be a matter of sequencing.

There was a brief trilateral wrangle as the SDLP's Mark Durkan objected to Pat Doherty's characterisation of his Oxford speech on designations. But generally, in the absence of the First and Deputy First, this was a fairly flat event. Held in the Radisson hotel's Richter suite, it did not register on the earthquake scale (I owe lawyer Michael Smith for that one).

Apropos of nothing the best story I heard at a fringe event came from two veteran Labour stewards who grew up in Carrick Hill but have been living in Manchester for decades. They recalled, as kids, going into Belfast City centre to throw tomatoes at the young Ian Paisley. But they made it up to him when he visited the Labour conference two years ago by seeking him out to shake his hand.

They would certainly have fallen foul of their fellow Labour stewards these days. A colleague was stopped bringing fruit into the secure area around the conference. He explained he was trying to ensure he got his five portions a day. The security staff told him they were on the look out for eggs and tomatoes. I am presuming they weren't trying to prevent an impromptu Ulster fry event.

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Both the Conservatives and Labour have given seaside resorts like Blackpool and Bournemouth a miss this year. But today the sun has been shining so strongly in Manchester that it would have seemed fitting if the conference organisers had imported a few tons of sand to create an urban beach.

The weather isn't gloomy, but Labour's prospects are, with a poll published in the Observer predicting meltdown and a 146 Tory majority. So far this hasn't translated into any more blood letting. The party factions appear to have agreed a truce, although it may not last beyond the Glenrothes byelection.

Shaun Woodward made only a glancing reference to Gordon Brown's troubles during his speech this morning. He said the PM had visited Stormont despite market turbulence, speculation about banks and "local stuff", which was code for the fact that David Cairns chose the same day to resign.

One of the reasons the DUP reacted so strongly to Mr Brown's speech was that it lacked any admonishment of Sinn Fein for blocking Executive meetings. Today Shaun Woodward filled in the blank saying the Executive "needs to meet. There is business to be agreed."

The speech was fairly low key - in part because of its slot, at eleven o'clock on a Sunday morning. Mr Woodward talked about the need for "great acts of leadership" to break the logjam. And he tried to adapt his theme to refer, presumably, both to Peter Robinson and Gordon Brown when he said "in times when solutions aren't clear - then you really look for leadership. You need to count on your leader. And the leader should know, he can count on you."

As some readers have noticed, the Conference fringe programme advertises a breakfast tomorrow with Peter Robinson and Martin McGuinness. But neither the First nor the Deputy First will be here. Instead we are expecting Jeffrey Donaldson and Pat Doherty.

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I'm off to Manchester this weekend for the Labour conference. It should be interesting to watch the wolves circling around Gordon Brown. Local Labour activists are in a celebratory mood, as they will have a fully accredited delegate, Boyd Black. That's the first time there has been such a delegate since 1918.

If the 200 or so local Labour party members think they are on a roll, though, their party colleagues in Islington North (Jeremy Corbyn's constituency) take a different view. They are proposing a rule change which would restrict party membership to Great Britain. It's thought the Labour National Executive Committee will oppose this, but the move reflects the reluctance with which many Labour activists have embraced their supporters here, in contrast to the current Cameron Empey love in.

I am hoping to update the blog from Manchester, but if the process proves a bit erratic, you can blame my limited technological prowess in navigating the interface between my lap top and the Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ Conference computer system. Hopefully, all will go smoothly.

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Peter Robinson is my guest on tomorrow's Inside Politics. He talks about Sir Hugh Orde's recent comments that our politician should "get their act together" and what "serious consequences" will now flow from the failure to hold an Executive meeting on Thursday. He also compares and contrasts Gordon Brown's handling of the political process with that of his predecessor Tony Blair.

As usual you can hear Inside Politics on Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ Radio Ulster at a quarter to one.

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So nothing happened, unless you count "informal gatherings" of ministers as a substitute for the real McCoy. It looks like we might be entering a phase of government by correspondence, in which policies are pushed through via the "urgent procedure". That's the way Martin McGuinness suggested Margaret Ritchie's fuel poverty package should be implemented. The DUP balked, claiming the procedure would be invalid when an Executive meeting was already scheduled. But with no meeting pencilled in until early next month, Peter Robinson now seems prepared to countenance such urgent measures. Ministers corresponding in writing, empty chairs at Executive meetings. It all sounds vaguely familiar.

The image of the day was Margaret Ritchie walking down the Stormont Castle steps flanked by the two unionist leaders. Was she wise? Her calculation must be that nationalist voters will view her as the minister trying to tackle the bread and butter issues. But Martin McGuinness was quick to link the image to Mark Durkan's recent speech on the "ugly scaffolding" at Stormont. However much the SDLP leader denies it, the Sinn Fein tactic is to portray his party as flaky on the Good Friday Agreement.

How long will the deaqdlock persist and will the two governments step in with a fresh round of inter party talks? At the start of the day Shaun Woodward continued to argue that the glass was half full rather than half empty, but London and Dublin will be anxious to ensure the Stormont arrangement does not unravel. The DUP will be reluctant to be "hot housed" into a devolution of justice timetable, so if the governnments decide to intervene they will have to be more subtle than Gordon Brown during this week's visit to Stormont.

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If the question is will they hold a formal Executive meeting tomorrow, then as of now the answer looks like no. The exchange of letters between Martin McGuinness and Peter Robinson over fuel poverty reads like the blame game starting before the September 18th deadline has been broken. Perhaps they will sort it out early next week, but expect lots of "Not the Executive" type meetings tomorrow as ministers demonstrate how much they care about those "bread and butter" issues.

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Further to the perception that David Ford could be preparing the ground for a shift on taking a future Justice Department, I see that the Green spokesman Peter Doran says he fully expects the Alliance leader "to conduct a 'u-turn' and accept the Justice Ministry and abandon the role of opposition to the Green Party. Alliance voters will rightly raise questions about their Party Leader's preparedness to act as a fig leaf for institutions designed to embed sectarianism for another generation." Last time I checked the two parties were still part of the same Assembly group - but then the Green MLA Brian Wilson's name wasn't attached to the statement.

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Our First Minister hit back at Gordon Brown this morning, describing his Stormont speech as "ill conceived, unbalanced and ill advised". But if the FM felt stung by the PM, then he wasn't too worried about being stung by a wasp which perched on his ear throughout most of his interview with my colleague Martina Purdy. Unflinching , the FM pressed on, waving the wasp away after the camera clicked off.

Both the FM and the DFM were at the Belfast Science Park launching a Titanic education scheme. Martin McGuinness told the audience his family thought his Great Uncle had worked on the ill fated liner.

So far as the good ship Stormont Executive is concerned, there's no sign of tomorrow's deadline being met. After comments by Gerry Adams on Good Morning Ulster and by Martin McGuinness at the Science Park, the latest thinking is that the deadlock could slide into next week. If the DUP think they have a deal in principle that it will happen, maybe they might hold off on their threat of "serious consequences".

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If a tree falls in a forest and noone is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Perhaps someone in the Social Development and Agriculture Departments should acquaint themselves with the old philosophical riddle. Just as Gordon Brown's outriders pulled up at the Stormont West Door yesterday afternoon, my phone and those of my colleagues rang with a summons to a joint announcement in the Great Hall from ministers Margaret Ritchie and Michelle Gildernew. They were unveiling Β£400,000 in extra funding for insulation for rural homes.

I know they pressed ahead with the announcement because I passed through the Great Hall at the time looking for an advance copy of Gordon Brown's speech and witnessed the two ministers addressing a couple of puzzled looking cameramen. The press room in the basement was packed with hacks waiting for the PM to begin.

Perhaps there was some cunning reason to bury this bit of good news beneath Mr Brown's visit, but I can't for the life of me work it out. As things stand I am nominating the joint announcement for a most inept bit of political PR award.

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4th August 2008.

Q. In terms of the Minister for Justice, are you ruling out the Alliance Party, are you saying that the party will not take that post?

David Ford....Yes. It's a very emphatic and definite no.

17th September 2008.

David Ford...No politician with any wit ever says never.

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That's what unionists were after the PM told them to get on with setting a date for devolving justice. When Tony Blair delivered a stern message to one side, he used to balance it with a bit of sugar coating, or a partial rebuke for their opponents. However the glum faces on the DUP benches suggested that Gordon Brown had not come anywhere near pulling off the Blairite balancing act. Afterwards they grumbled about his lack of charisma. Republicans, by contrast, seemed quietly satisfied.

His meeting with the 6 party leaders (David Ford and Dawn Purvis joined the 4 Executive parties) did not clarify whether there would be an Executive meeting on Thursday or not. One minister says it will now be a mammoth job to get the necessary paper work together, even if Sinn Fein does have a last minute change of heart.

I understand Mark Durkan and Sir Reg Empey raised the question of the Panorama revelations about Omagh and GCHQ with the PM, who has promsied to write to them about the matter.

On a recent Inside Politics Shaun Woodward told me a leadership challenge to Mr Brown would be "insane", but Mr Brown could be forgiven for looking a shade suspiciously at both him and Paul Goggins. Now that 3 former NIO ministers, David Cairns, George Howarth and Barry Gardiner have all joined the anti-Brown cabal can anyone associated with Hillsborough be trusted?

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Wikipedia lists the Bahamas, Bermuda, the British Virgin Islands, the Seychelles, the Cayman Islands and the Channel Islands as examples of tax haven islands. But Rathlin appears conspicuous by its absence.

Sinn Fein's Daithi McKay wants to see that changed. He has asked the Finance Minister Nigel Dodds for his assessment of the benefit to Rathlin's economy is tax exemption is introduced for residents. Mr Dodds responds that he has made no assessment since the Executive is not responsible for taxation.

More limited in its ambition, but perhaps more realistic is a proposal from the Rise Foundation for the development of a dedicated addiction centre for families in the East Lighthouse on Rathlin Island. A delegation, including the singer Frances Black, was at Stormont yesterday to seek the support of the Health Minister Michael McGimpsey.
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Having tested 70 MLAs and assembly staff, the Chest and Heart Stroke Association referred nearly 10% (I presume that means 6) of them to their GPs. But I can't give you a party political breakdown of who is feeling the strain as that's private medical business.

The pressure seemed fairly high in our Stormont Live studio - the DUP's Peter Weir accused Sinn Fein of reneging on an agreement to leave the policing debate to the Assembly Executive and Review Committee. John O'Dowd retorted that his party wanted progress on the timescale of the handover.

In the Chamber, Peter Robinson said he'd be deeply disappointed if there is no Executive on Thursday, but didn't seem to be turning the screw any more so far as the "serious consequences" of not holding a meeting are concerned.

Gordon Brown is due at Stormont tomorrow (why didn't the nurses stick around to test someone who is really under pressure?). With that in mind the NIO has released another suggesting 58% support for the devolution of justice in the next year. Strangely they didn't (so far as I know) ask anyone where the transfer of powers sat on their list of priorities alongside, say, lower gas and electricity bills.

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Our First Minister's wife has made it into "Heat" magazine ( billed as "this week's hottest celebrity news"). In the 23rd August issue she didn't get the kind of celebrity spread afforded to Cheryl Cole, but if you look closely at the magazine's "Hit List" you discover that Hollyoaks star Gerard McCarthy (aka cross-dressing student Kris) has hit back at anti-gay comments from what "Heat" describes as an unnamed "Irish MP". Not the description the Strangford MP would choose, but, what the heck, if it gets you into a column which includes Becks, Britney, Kerry and Paris...

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If any of our legislators are feeling under pressure over rising bills, Executive log jams and having to shake hands with Gordon Brown, they can check their health in the Assembly canteen on Monday. Chest Heart and Stroke Association Nurses will be on hand to check their blood pressures. Will the tests reveal which party is the most laid back?

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That's something Mark Durkan expresses concern about, during our discussion of Gordon Brown's forthcoming visit on this weekend's Inside Politics. The programme covers energy prices, water charges and whether the SDLP will pull out of the Executive if they are passed over for the justice job. We also talk about the fallout from those remarks by the Foyle MP at last weekend's British Irish Association.

After we had finished recording, Mr Durkan pointed out that I had mixed up his metaphors when I paraphrased him by referring to the "ugly scaffolding at Stormont" biodegrading. For the record, he used both phrases, but in different sections of his Oxford speech. I know scaffolding won't ever biodegrade and take full responsibility for mangling the metaphors. I was, after all, the correspondent who once talked on air about "taking the mountain to Methuselah".

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The UUP MLA John McAllister was getting some practice in today for next Monday's return of the Assembly by visiting Belfast Zoo's Giraffe and Elephant House. He got stuck into the business of feeding, washing and even rubbing moisturising cream on the elephants. John's used to rubbing shouldres with animals with thick hides, both on his South Down farm and up the hill at Stormont.

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After my last musing about how well the US Republican Vice Presidential candidate might fit on the Stormont benches, regular reader Noel Adams drew my attention to the following article in the gay newspaper, Looks like Iris should be invited on a fact finding trip to Anchorage.

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Readers of the blog are well aware that the DUP and the TUV are more than willing to dispute the most arcane constitutional point, but now their latest spat is over what comes out of a cow's rear end. Reacting to a UN report suggesting people should cut down on meat in order to combat global warming, the DUP's Simon Hamilton leapt to the defence of the beef farmer. The Strangford MLA pointed to research already underway on changing animals' diets. But now Jim Allister has accused Mr Hamilton of talking through his own posterior. I shall let you anaerobically digest their conflicting statements in the extended entry.

UPDATE: There's another statement in on this bovine topic from Simon Hamilton, which I shall add to the extended entry.

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Yesterday afternoon when I was hanging around the Great Hall at Stormont trying to pick up details about Gordon Brown's visit next week, I ran in to the former Ulster Unionist Councillor and adviser, Mark Neale. As I started cross questioning him about the PM, he cut in, informing me that these days he is with the PSNI, although they are thinking of changing their name to the RUC.

Half right, I think. Mark is Head of Public Affairs with the Pharmaceutical Society of Northern Ireland, but I don't believe for one moment that they are thinking of calling themselves the Royal Society of Ulster Chemists.

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With the Enniskillen council by-election just a few days away, the Ulster Unionists (and other parties) have been critical of Arlene Foster for taking on too many jobs. Why should a minister and an MLA seek another role as a councillor?

All part of the usual political rough and tumble, you may say. But has the former Environment Minister Sam Foster overplayed his hand in a letter to this week's "Fermanagh Herald"? Obviously there is history between the Fosters. But in his letter, the UUP man describes the late DUP Councillor Joe Dodds as "a man's man." He goes on to describe the UUP candidate Basil Johnston as "a single person", and then he continues "Seriously, I have to ask the question: how does Arlene expect to contend with the number of responsible roles she wants to carry and to do each one well, but not to neglect any, e.g. wife, mother, Councillor, MLA, and Minister of a Department?"

Whenever we talk about double jobbing by male MLAs and MPs we don't normally include descriptions such as "husband" or "father" in their CVs. Is it any more acceptable when talking about female politicians, especially when your assembly team is noticeably lacking in that regard?

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The blog has already noted exchanges between the UUP and Sinn Fein over the re-painting of post boxes in West Tyrone. Ogra Sinn Fein, which is backing the campaign now claims more than 100 post boxes have been painted green, and they produce some to prove it. The TUV is demanding police action against the "vandals", whilst Ogra Sinn Fein claim they are saving An Post money pending Irish unity.

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I wasn't at the British Irish Association Conference in Oxford where Mark Durkan made his controversial speech on the future of the designation system. So I decided to hold off writing about his comments until I had a chance to check with the SDLP leader himself.

Martin McGuinness described Durkan's argument that "the mandatory coalition should be ended" as a "disastrous U turn". By contrast, the DUP's David Simpson welcomed him as a belated covert to the notion of a voluntary coalition.

The SDLP leader's speaking notes are carried on his party's Speaking to Mark Durkan today, he insists that he wants to retain the D'Hondt system by which ministerial jobs are handed out on the basis of parties' electoral strengths. He also says he doesn't want the unionist nationalist designation system abolished altogether. Rather he would like its application limited to a smaller number of matters, such as the choice of a First and Deputy First Minister.

The SDLP's motivation for this move might be seen as a short term tit-for-tat in response to the DUP and Sinn Fein scheme to bypass them in handing out any new Justice department (that's something Alex Attwood was complaining about at a meeting of the Stormont Assembly and Executive Review Committee earlier today). But Mark Durkan's proposed timescale for any changes is far from short term (he won't put a date on it, but does not envisage any alterations ahead of the next Assembly election).

Asked about what could replace cross community voting the SDLP leader isn't prescriptive (for example, he isn't arguing for a weighted majority vote). Instead he talks about discussing arrangements which might reflect new realities should the Conservatives or the southern parties start spreading here through any new "realignments".

Mr Durkan suggests grafting new protections on to a future Bill of Rights. Agreement on such a bill still seems a long way off. I took a look at the draft bill produced by the and the only section I could find which appeared to come anywhere close to this territory was paragraph 30 on "The Right To Participation In Public Life".

The section seems mainly concerned about protecting the rights of women. But in a note the SDLP representative added "SDLP believes that the principles of proportionality in representation and cross-community decision-making are essential given the historic imbalance of representation and abuse of power in Northern Ireland". I shall put the entire section in the extended entry.

Boiling it down, it feels like blue sky thinking rather than anything which will have an immediate impact on the "ugly scaffolding" (to borrow the Foyle MP's term) at Stormont.

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I'm glad to see from the Sinn Fein website that Gerry Adams is backing his party's candidate, Debbie Coyle, in the Enniskillen council by-election. Predictable maybe, but in an early print out of his statement handed to our reporter the candidate was referred to, variously, as Denise Coyle and Denis Coyle.

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Jim Allister has called for "Welcome to NI" signs to be erected on roads crossing the border. He says that in October last year the NI Tourist Board wrote to border councils requesting the signs, but none has chosen to comply with the request. Since the demolition of the old checkpoints the border is a blink and you'd miss it experience. But would erecting signs achieve anything other than providing dissident republicans with something to vandalise?

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Is my guest for this weekend's Inside Politics. The programme covers his take on the DUP's demand for a further statement from the Republican leadership, what he thinks about any leadership challenge to Gordon Brown and those summer reports that the NIO could be subsumed by a Department of the Nations.

As usual, Inside Politics is on Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ Radio Ulster at 12.45, then subsequently available via the Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ's Listen Again facility.

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Today's newspapers are full of the pictures of eight men who the police want to assist them with their inquiries about burglary and car crime. Which made me think again about what was missing from this week's IMC report - namely pictures of the seven people who sit on the IRA's Army Council. As Gerry Adams pointed out, it's pretty hard to get a picture of the seven not meeting, but still it would have been nice to see them in retirement, sunning themselves in Malaga, or wherever. Since the police don't want to talk to them about anything (assuming the Northern Bank investigation is now regarded as a closed book) I presume issuing photos would be considered a waste of valuable resources, as would any up to date pictures of the UDA and UVF leadership.

It will be interesting to see how quickly the PSNI get results. Presumably they won't want to be on the trail as long as their counterparts in the F.B.I. who have spent decades pursuing the senior citizen wanted for his part in 19 murders, including one connected to the IRA's "Valhalla" arms shipment. They have just doubled the reward to $2million.

On the devolution of justice stand off, there have been a couple of developments today. Jim Allister has published a pamphlet arguing against the transfer of powers which, he says, would give Martin McGuinness a say in appointing judges. He went on to make a personal appeal to Nigel Dodds, Jim Wells, David Simpson, Willie McCrea and Maurice Morrow not to let others in the DUP accede to the devolution of justice.

(UPDATE: On Talkback Nigel Dodds was at pains to deny that the OFMDFM would have powers over judges, instead insisting that all relevant powers would be concentrated in a new Justice Department, which would not be headed by a Sinn Fein minister.)

Meanwhile has released extracts of an interview with Bertie Ahern which the Irish Times' London correspondent Frank Millar has conducted for his new book, "Northern Ireland - A Triumph Of Politics". Bertie is fairly definite that, at St. Andrews, the DUP was party to a deal that policing would be devolved in May this year.

Here are the key quotes: (Ahern) "Sinn Fein had a cast iron guarantee that 1st May (2008) was the deadline' for achieving it".....
(Millar) Cast iron?
(Ahern) 'It was absolutely crystal clear from the British Government and from everybody else.'
But from the DUP?
'Everybody that would move... I mean there's no doubt May was the date.'
Yet the DUP has consistently said it never signed up for May 2008?
'Yeah, well, I mean listen,' says Mr Ahern, clearly unimpressed with any protestations to the contrary now: 'The devolution of policing from May was part of the deal in my view. OK, you can say that the governments didn't extract that from everyone in writing but it was what the two governments agreed and everybody else agreed."

The DUP is sure to point out that the publicly available document only referred to May as a "target date", but, coming after the IMC report, Mr Ahern's comments will no doubt be used to ramp up the pressure on Peter Robinson.

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The more I read about John McCain's running mate, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, the more familiar she sounds. The failed previous Democrat Candidate John Kerry criticised her as "somebody who doesn't believe climate change is man-made". Then, after her speech to the Republican convention, the Guardian noted that "her forte is the sardonic one liner." I began to wonder when I had last spotted Sammy Wilson. Could our Environment Minister be across the Atlantic, moonlighting in drag?

Then I read about her Christian, anti-abortion, anti-gay marriage views. Well, Iris Robinson obviously came to mind, and you can see the likeness.

But finally we have to factor in her polar bear hating, moose hunting stance which extends to enthusiasm for shooting wolves from aircraft. Has Jim Shannon ever tried that? If not, I bet he'd like to have a go.

Should the McCain team fail to overcome Obama in November, Mrs Palin should not despair. Surely there would be a place for her on the benches at Stormont.

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Whilst the DUP and Sinn Fein negotiators locked horns at Stormont Castle this morning, some of their colleagues at the Assembly were making time to meet a visiting delegation of Swedish gymnasts.

Were the gymnasts educating the politicians about how to adopt more flexible positions?

We shall keep an eye on the parties' strength, flexibility and endurance as they head back in to their fresh sessions on the balance beam, pommel horse and assymetric bars, currently pencilled in for Tuesday of next week.

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Previously I wrote that I couldn't see today's IMC report making much difference to the political deadlock. After looking at it I would have to admit I was wrong, in as much as it did pose a dilemma for the DUP. Apart from finding that the 7 strong council had "fallen into disuse", the IMc said they did not foresee any formal announcement of its disbandment.

Given that this is precisely what the DUP has been looking for, this meant Peter Robinson had to decide whether to hold out for such a formal P. O'Neill statement. Or should he agree with Shaun Woodward's assessment that the debate over the Army Council's role is now history and this is, as Jack Nicholson might put it, "as good as it gets".

In the pouring rain outside the Assembly building, the DUP leader told us he still wants more - a confirmation from the republican leadership that the Army Council will never meet again and the IRA is out of business for good. He stopped short of calling for a formal P, O'Neill statement, so maybe something from Gerry Adams or Martin McGuinness would do the trick.

Whether they will oblige I may find out in about ten minutes time in the Stormont Great Hall.

In the meantime, Jim Allister has been pouring scorn on today's report, which he reckons is full of "Jesuitical verbiage". With the Stormont Executive having failed to convene since mid June, the Traditional Unionist MEP argues that it too is no longer "operational or functional", yet, he points out, one would hardly deny that it exists.

UPDATE: Well I got to ask Sinn Fein whether they would provide the words Peter Robinson wants. Instead Gerry Adams made a joking reference to providing a photo of the IRA Army Council not meeting. It was a clear reference to the photos of IRA decommissioning which the DUP asked for but never got. More talks are due between the two parties tomorrow morning at Stormont castle - let's see if they get anywhere.

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Ian Paisley Jr. has been taking the SDLP's Chief Whip Patsy McGlone to task over the SDLP's summer campaign for an emergency recall of the Assembly. The DUP North Antrim MLA has circulated Mr McGlone's letter to his fellow MLAs asking them to petition the Speaker for a return of Stormont. Ian Jr. points out that the Speaker's office has not received a single copy of the letter and argues that this reveals the initiative was "nothing more than a publicity stunt". Every other SDLP MLA, he says, "refused to be Mr. McGlone's Patsy."

The Chief Whip retorts that he asked his fellow MLAs to return their letters to his Stormont office. He has all 16, but knows there is no point forwarding them on to the Speaker until he reaches the magic figure of 30 required for a Stormont "petition of concern". A disgruntled Patsy McGlone adds "this is not a silly game...the people could be eating grass and the DUP and Sinn Fein would be arguing about the coco-pops."

Should that last turn of phrase win some kind of mixed metaphor award?

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The UUP's Billy Armstrong is effusive in his praise for the "Jungle Outdoor Activity Centre" in Moneymore. He went there to find out more about the extreme sport craze of "Zorbing", which involves two people rolling downhill at speeds of up to 30 mph in a large bubble made of PVC.

Sadly Billy didn't try it for himself, claiming he had just had his dinner. But he recommends it as an outdoor activity in which the participants are sheltered from the elements, so ideal for our wet climate.

Perhaps some of our warring politicians could be forcibly zorbed until they resolve their differences.

For those not au fait with "zorbing"

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With the IMC about to tell us that IRA Army Council poses no threat, Peter Robinson made it clear outside Police Headquarters this morning that such an assessment was not sufficient. Expect the British and Irish governments to accentuate the positive when the IMC report is published tomorrow. However the DUP leader is still looking for the removal of the Army Council, not its effective retirement.

It's a strange bit of choreography. Given that the British and Irish governments control the sources of intelligence one must assume they know the status of the IRA Army Council before asking the IMC to report on it. So they would have had a good idea that the assessment would fall short of the DUP's bottom line. Perhaps they hope it will inch things forward, but, barring some surprising finding, I can't see tomorrow's report making much difference to the current deadlock.

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