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Up an Orange Drainpipe

Mark Devenport | 10:55 UK time, Friday, 31 August 2007

The South Down DUP MLA Jim Wells is quoted on the front page of this morning's Newsletter asking what a young republican activist was doing on the top of a Newcastle Orange Hall roof at 2.45am in the morning. Obviously, he must have "Sinned" up a drainpipe..

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  • 1.
  • At 01:16 PM on 31 Aug 2007,
  • Susie Flood wrote:

Mark

SLATE LOOSE, PERHAPS?

You’re far too flippant about this incident.

There could be any number of legitimate reasons for this young Sinn Fein member being on the roof of an Orange Hall at 2.45 in the morning. I’ll bet you anything that the Sinn Fein Press Office is currently devising a perfectly acceptable explanation for the young Sinn Fein member being on the roof of an Orange Hall at 2.45 in the morning. As for Jim Wells, he shouldn’t start gloating that this incident will embarrass Sinn Fein because one of its members was on the roof of an Orange Hall at 2.45 in the morning; it could very well be that there was a slate loose causing the young Sinn Fein member to fall from the roof of an Orange Hall at 2.45 in the morning, which may very well make the Orange Order liable for damages for his broken wrist.

Meanwhile, back in Sinn Fein HQ it has been reported that, on being informed immediately afterwards that a young Sinn Fein member had fallen from the roof of an Orange Lodge at 2.45 in the morning, Gerry Adams went through the roof at 2.46 in the morning. A broken wrist and a sore head - what a way to start the day!

Meanwhile, back in the Sinn Fein Press Office an entirely satisfactory explanation of the circumstances surrounding the young Sinn Fein member’s fall from the roof of an Orange Hall at 2.45 in the morning is being drawn up………………………………………………….I can’t wait for that Blog, Mark.

Susie
Carryduff

  • 2.
  • At 01:11 PM on 01 Sep 2007,
  • Liam MacGillornáth wrote:

The young man was simply praticing being Santa. It is all part of the SF all-inclusive Christmas. The orangemen might be getting a huge surprise for the holiday!

The explanation has been passed onto me by Connolly House. It of course puts the young man in the clear; in the interests of The Peace Process and Our Shared Future, please read the following:

The Orange Hall in question has no postbox because er...never mind why, it just has no post box as of this morning. The volunteer in question was merely wishing to give the Brethren an opportunity to the next "Mourne & District Unionist Outreach" meeting as Old Widow Abernethy, the previous Prod invited, decided (for purely sectarian reasons, we're sure) not to attend.

Whilst attempting to post the invitation down their chimney, a dissident republican (or member of the UDA, or a Securocrat determined in Undermining The Peace Process or..whoever, it's not really that important) fired a airgun slug at the volunteer's posterior. The afore-mentioned volunteer, having been hit, grabbed the Butcher's Apr..the Union Flag as he fell in order to save it from damage caused by the oncoming thunderstorm and...well, that's it really.

End of Communication.

  • 4.
  • At 04:45 PM on 02 Sep 2007,
  • Raymond Boyd wrote:

The explanation for this young republican falling off the roof of an Orange Hall in the early hours of the morning could lie in the statements about other so called victims of the past ie "he was only going to the shop for a pint of milk"
Perhaps this young activist was only going to fetch his grandmothers cat. No doubt SF will come up with an equally diversional excuse.


Raymond

Co Antrim

  • 5.
  • At 06:49 AM on 09 Sep 2007,
  • Pete wrote:

Perhaps this young Sinn Fein member was on the roof of an Orange Hall at 2.45 in the morning trying to find any trace of those civil and religious liberties so beloved of this christian organisation. Or maybe he was watching out for kids going for a pint of milk...a favourite target of those sent to guard those christian libertines.

Hmmmm..... This is a Â鶹ԼÅÄ blog. What are my chances of getting a post to match the sick sarcasm registered?

Yeah.....right!

  • 6.
  • At 06:12 PM on 09 Sep 2007,
  • R Cleland wrote:

Please reroute the orange parade in Newcastle Co Down BUT this young republican did not hear right what the local SF was saying, he decided to climb up on the Orange Hall and take it down brick by brick and build it in some other place of Newcastle, this will stop the local SF having to get up at 7am in the morning of the 12th to be offended by the Orange men and Bands men and means there be no rerouteing so every person will be happy and will live in peace??.

East Belfast

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