Bringing to book
I was never a big fan of The Hungry Caterpillar. Always struck me as too formulaic, a little too anodyne. For subtlety and truth, try Bears go Shopping or the seminal Big Dog, Little Dog.
But still, what remains of my senses buzzed on hearing a reference to this stock work of children's literature in the Holyrood chamber. An MSP quoting from a book? What next? Joseph Conrad cited in the debate on fisheries? Quotes from Kelman in a discussion about youth disenchantment?
My excitement swifly dissipated. To be frank, it hadn’t been all that pated in the first place. It was merely Wendy Alexander deploying a device from her twins' nursery to lampoon John "Thirty Eight Jobs" Swinney.
Mr Swinney, it seemed, had been a greedy little Minister - and had to be told.
It was all a little pedestrian - although nothing like as bad as painted by some commentators. It was, however, a reminder that it may not be entirely easy to replace McConnell, J. as the leader of Labour's Holyrood group.
Labour MSPs are meeting today to pick over the election. Here's the agenda.
Item One: we didn't really lose.
Item Two: anyway, if we did, we didn't lose by much.
Item Three: OK, so we lost, but it wasn't Jack's fault.
Item Four: what on earth do we do now?
Item Five: AOCB
Jack McConnell - the angry caterpillar - shows no sign of going anywhere fast.
He's devised a new strategy for Labour in opposition which involves operating as a standing alternative government, advancing legislation and demanding a stake in determining the budget.
He's not exactly universally revered in the Labour group - but there seems little sign yet of a concrete challenge to oust him.
Labour's underlying problem in Scotland? It needs to try a little in-house devolution. It remains the one party that doesn't have a truly autonomous Scottish division.
The SNP? Obvious. The LibDems? Separate party, federated to the GB set-up. The Tories? Distinctive Scottish party, distinctive Scottish leader, distinctive Scottish control.
Labour? Holyrood policy is devolved - to the miscomprehension of some in the GB party. But Jack McConnell is NOT fully the leader of Scottish Labour, unlike his counterparts. He is the leader of Labour in the Scottish Parliament. You doubt me? Consider this. Do Scottish Labour MPs consider Jack McConnell to be in any way their leader? They do not.
Yet, for example, Michael Moore and even Ming Campbell accept that Nicol Stephen is in charge of matters Scottish in the LibDems.
I'm 
Comments
Brian - was in total agreement until the last paragraph ... if Nicol Stephen was truly "in charge of matters Scottish in the LibDems" then they would be in government with the SNP right now. It's a travesty they're not and Ming Campbell, and UK colleagues, have had no small part to play in that travesty.
"Yet, for example, Michael Moore and even Ming Campbell accept that Nicol Stephen is in charge of matters Scottish in the LibDems."
Aye, but is Tavish Scott?
What do ‘we’ do now?
Labour: Efforts must be made to regain some of the credibility lost over the last few years; I feel that a ‘born again’ Jack McConnell will be unconvincing to voters.
Leader lacks credibility.
Conservatives: Well on their way with their programme to regain their credibility; the distance created between them and London by the London party has given them individual identity with little link to the current master spinner of Westminster, David Cameron.
Leader seems credible.
Liberals: Lack of cutting edge to their politics will confine them to minority party status, Liberals need to learn they cannot be nice to everyone all of the time and be leaders; being capable of making tough decisions is the mark of true leaders and leading parties. For politicians to be for ever politically correct may attract protest votes but not the support of thee majority of the voters.
Leader seems too nice.
SNP: On trial; they must work hard to produce policy that reflects the minority administration they are running, it must be seen that any failure to deliver policy or situations that produce stalemate are down to others playing politics with Scotland’s future.
Leader was previously seen as smarmy currently viewed as trustworthy; time and performance will be reflected in the voter’s perceptions and their allocation of crosses.
Is it crosses or numbers? Not to worry it will change before the next election, will it not?
Surely if Labour were really against John Swinney's new mammoth department they could have made a real statement by adopting a different structure for their front-bench when attacking his new role. Instead, Wendy's attacks are pointless as she has a perfect shadow of Swinney's job! Why has she not struck yet and got rid of useless wee jack? I mean she probably would not be much better, but the stench of defeat (especially the first one for decades) really clings to a leader!
Isn't Joke more like the Afghan puppy character - 'What a mess'? Well intentioned but always causing disaster for others and bringing disgrace on himself.
Wendy Alexander alway reminds me of Mrs Horrible from the eponymous Rohald Dahl book.
How about Tweedledee and Tweedledum for Annabelle Goldie and Nichol Stevens?
With Wee Eck I routinely get a vision of 'Just William' and Nicola as Elizabeth Bott.
Good article.
Until Scottish Labour gain more control from the UK party they won't be taken serously. McConnel is widely seen as a puppet. Witness the Trident reversal: He was against it, then after the Oban conference when the Westminster heavyweights came up, suddenly McConnel had his nuclear road to Damascus moment and announced that trident was a great idea afterall!
However I have my doubts how autonomous the Lib Dems really are. I am still certain that Ming Campbell had a hand in the Scottish party's total refusal to discuss proposals around the table like civilised individuals. People are aware that Ming and Gordon have been in talks about the next UK election and I'm sure that Ming swung the Scottish Lib Dem's decision making process in turn for a part in Gordon's brave new world.
The news that UK ministers may be interfering with Scottish elections is a travesty but I think it's also a reality. That will always be the problem with devolution.
Loving that agenda Brian.
I think "we wuz robbed" and "knighthood for Arthur Midwinter" have a place somewhere though.
Your reference to children's books inspired me... (based on Each Peach Pear Plum..)
Their common aim’s the common good
Let’s have a look at Holyrood
Sometimes jolly, sometimes sinister
I spy the First Minister
Not long before her troubles burgeon
I spy Nicola Sturgeon
Who’s that sitting at the back?
I spy ex-leader Jack
Biding her time – modus vivendi
I spy wee Wendy
Scottish Lib Dems in a pickle
I spy Stephen Nicol
MSPs with good intent
I spy the PARLIAMENT
>You doubt me? Consider this.
>Do Scottish Labour MPs consider Jack
>McConnell to be in any way their leader?
>They do not.
Brian: easily your best blog entry yet (you can send my tenner to the usual address).
That one observation hits the nail on the head. And until the Labour Party in Scotland can resolve that problem (and it is a huge problem) then they will be out of touch with the pulse of political feeling in Scotland.
And all tied up with the West Lothian question too of course.
I wonder if Labour has hit its high-water mark, like the Tories in the 1950s; and yet even knowing what they have to do/could do to remain popular, they are unable to do because of ties to the past and Westminster (legacy politics makes them inflexible).
Interestingly though, I don't think it is yet obvious that the SNP necessarily inherit Labour's dominant position. They may well do so (probably will in fact), but that won't be obvious for years yet. There is everything to play for (for all parties) and the sooner Labour realise the home truths of devolution the better, i.e. that whoever runs Labour at Holyrood runs the Scottish Party, the better. Did I hear a Labour MP or two say 'Over my dead body...'.
Interesting days ahead.
The labour party are behaving like a lot of spoiled brats and therefore should be treated as such. Tony Blair and Gordon Brown are the top brats, for not following the Monarchs lead in wishing Alex Salmond all the best ,and wishing a good future for Scotland. To tell Scotland that they don't approve of who we voted into power is like a red rag to a bull. If they want further support they should be magnanemous in defeat. There behaviour so far leads me to beleave that perhaps as an independent nation once more we would be better off.
To be fair, I suspect that if Ming was P.M. then Stephen Nicol might not find himself quite so in charge of affairs Scottish.
Brilliant. How about "Two big boys did it and ran away..."?
The sad thing about 'The Hungry Caterpillar' is that it shows just how far politicians have fallen. When they make speeches, aren't they supposed to show their erudition of a higher class of literature?
Our politicians ought to have some education in the classics. The term 'numpty' would probably vanish from the political scene if only those who had studied latin, and in particular the speeches of Cicero, were permitted to stand for parliament.
Then we would at least have a style that might justify the cost of the enormously expensive (and hideous) building that they use, even though the substance might not change that much.
Gustaf Adolf (1594 - 1632), king of Sweden (1611 - 1632) made diligent study of the style of Cicero and it is recorded that as early as 1605, he made a made a speech in the style of Cicero, on the occasion when Hogenskild Bielkes was before the court and condemned to death.
Back then, it was understood that anybody destined for high office should at least do it with style, even though the political content might be rather suspect.
I can just picture the scene. Wee Brian Taylor in his shorts and braces, cross-legged on the floor as his P1 teacher says, "A beautiful butterfly! Wasn't that a nice story, children?" Only to hear wee Brian reply, "actually miss, I found it formulaic and a little too anodyne."
You must have been a riot at birthday parties!
Item Three: OK, so we lost, but it wasn't Jack's fault.
Amendment: It wasn't Jack's fault - Two big boys did it and ran away !(Gordon and Tone)