Elvis McGonagall
Elvis McGonagall - poet, twit and armchair revolutionary does the rhyming this week.
Find out more about him on his .
“One Man’s Mount Sinai Is Another Man’s Priory Clinicâ€
Forty days of fasting
Sparing, spartan, spent
If you’re Robbie – it’s called rehab
For the rest of us – it’s lent
“C²¹°ù°ù´Ç³Ù²õâ€
Fine words don’t butter parsnips – but
Know your onions, spill the beans
Sing Hallelujah! Let’s flatter the carrot
So much more versatile than greens
Deep purple from Afghanistan
Day-glo orange Dutch
Loved by those who wait for Easter
Living in a hutch
Oh how shall I cook thee?
Let me count the ways
Like Elizabeth Carrot Browning
I come to praise ‘n braise
Slice ‘n dice ‘n sautee
Bake in cakes ‘n dunk in dips
Sweeter than a mars bar
Deep-fried chantenay with chips
Knobbly, gnarled snowman’s nose
Carroty guarantee of health
Crunch and munch a bunch for lunch
See in the dark with radar stealth
Make corkscrews, jam and bubble-gum
Drink carrot Beaujolais
Form a flute ‘n veg orchestra
With added Vitamin A
It’s a wonky donkey pick-me-up
When from a stick it dangles
Dehydrate and create jewellery
Carrot baubles, carrot bangles
Carrot pizza, carrot clocks
Carrots, carrots everywhere
Jasper Carrot, The Camberwell Carrot
EastEnders’ Bradley’s carrot hair
All hail the golden king of crops
And I’ll repeat that like a parrot
All hail the golden king of crops
The 24 carat carrot
“A Family Affairâ€
Simpsons, Waltons, Addams, Partridge
Soprano or Debrett
You can’t really plan a family
You don’t know what you’re gonnae get
There could be a twist in the fairy tale
Read the small print, the disclaimers
You might give birth to carroty twins
Who look like The Proclaimers
Or they could be double-trouble
Lager saga bovver boys
Claret and blue blood hooligans
Full of testosterone and noise
So it takes hope and it takes courage
To take-in unknown kith and kin
It’s a cliffhanger, an epic
With one headstrong heroine
Climbing mountains made of paperwork
With perseverance to pursue
A journey halfway round the world
That ends in Kathmandu
In a dirty, dusty concrete box
Bereft of laughter, love and fun
A mother meets her daughter
And their story’s just begun
Please publish the text of McGonagall's carrot saga from the Feb 23rd programme.
Thanks
Complain about this postI loved the carrot poem. Please publish it. My hysband grew the most wonderfully obscene carrot in his newly acquired allotment last year and I would like to give it him for our immininent 39h Wedding anniversary.
Complain about this postMany thanks,
Jennifer Harvey
Please publish the carrot poem from Satudday a.m. 24 Feb
Complain about this postHello, I'm another one wanting the carrot poem. Brilliant!
Complain about this postHi, was out pounding the pavements thismorning and hating every minute of it - until I heard the Carrot poem that is. The poem certainly made me smile a lot. It is brilliant. Was telling a couple of friends about it. Please publish text so I can read it to my mates.
Well done. I really loved it.
Cheers
JN
Complain about this postYour carrot poem was absolutely brilliant and brightened up a boring morning I'm glad I took my radio with me whilst I was pounding the pavements.
Told my friends about the poem and can't wait for the text.
You're great
Cheers
Jeannie
Complain about this postthe carrot poem,
Complain about this postI was out this morning and missed my weekly fix of Fi and Co, when I got home my wife was waiting to get the on line repeat so that we could hear the poems again.
wonderful
Thank you for the poems of Elvis
Apologies for not having the poems up already but Elvis is suffering from a very serious man cold that required immediate bed-rest after the show. We're hoping that after some sleep and some of Mrs MacGonagall's TLC he'll be able to get them to us for Monday. Many thanks - and get well soon Elvis...
Complain about this postMaria
Please publish the carrot poem both for me and my Mum - it really was great - especially for a carrot fanatic like me!
Complain about this postI loved the carrot poem and have been waiting for it to appear - it is now 5.30 on Monday - where is it?? Yours anxiously...janet
Complain about this postYes the Carrot poem was great, but it's the "Family Affair" that we'll be keeping a copy of.
Excellent stuff Mr McGonagall, you tartan-clad fool.
Complain about this post