Printer problems.
In the modern office, printers, like photocopiers and computers unfairly bear the brunt of our anger, which should properly be directed at the weather, the cost of living or the hopeless morons who serve in shops but have never heard of the words please or thank you. Or soap.
But the printer we use has been playing up for days now. We first noticed it when pages printed by people in other parts of the Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ started turning up. If I went to print a script for a trail, for example, I would have to wait while running orders for the TV 6 o'clock news whirred out, or someone's travel itinerary for Kenya phutted onto the growing pile. It was pretty constant and meant that 500 pages would print every half hour.
We realised this was pretty wasteful and we turned the thing off and called a printer expert. After several days we were finally able to use it again. It was a joyous moment. People actually remarked on what a pleasure it was to have a printer. What the bloody hell is wrong with us?
Anyway this morning it is screwed again so we've switched it off. But as I know this Blog is read by people across the Corporation, as a public service I have been over to the printer and removed about 300 pages and will now list some of the documents in my posession. I'm in room G601 if you want them. If you don't I'll pop them in the recycle bin. We've turned the printer off. I mean - why would we need one that works???
Guy Stock - I have your Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ 4 running order. Tim McCoy I have your risk assessment form. Tim Awford - all your questions for guests including Andrew North are here. David Loyn your itinerary details are here. If you printed out a map of Monmouth Street in Bath - it's here. As is a print-off of the national newspaper front pages. There's a lot of five live stuff. Rhod Sharp, if you were wondering why you had to read off screen overnight - your intro is here: "One o'clock. On AM and FM around the UK, on digital and online, I'm Rhod Sharp". Shelagh Fogarty, your Gaza briefing documents are here. I also have the salary advice of someone with a staff number ending 3B, and a rota for an unidentified department. There is a huge printout too of what to do in the event of a royal death, a fire at Bush House, or the reporting of accidents.
The Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ. It's what we do.
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Did you try turing it off and back on again? And did you flush the queue on the server?
IT is wonderful as long as you don't actually want anything back from it. Think of it like a relationship with an exceptionally selfish person.
And be glad someone remembered to order paper.
What a flamin’ liberty!
Have you also got my speech to the hard of understanding?
I was wondering where theprint out email with my taxi details for Boston were...
I think you should subtly alter and reprint the documents before handing them over... add a zero to the salary advice, change Rhod Sharp's name to see if he reads it wrong, a map of a diffrerent Monmouth street, and change the Royal death instructions to include the phrase "Street party".
So that's how you spell David Loyn, I often wondered.
You don't by any chance have thirty invitations to a child's birthday party? I sent them to the printer yesterday and haven't seen them since ;)
Handwriting - it's the new inkjet - and you don't have to plug it in........
Ah, the joys of having a networked printer.
The same thing occasionally happens here, when I get stuff appearing from all over the University. We had to set the "print rights" for the printer to "deny" for all the offending departments. That might work if your techie people are using "Active Directory Services".
Alternatively, can I suggest a technological fix involving paper and pens?
...... So that's where it went!
I hereby claim my Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ salary.
Dr. H - Have you got the email yet? It concerns our friends Flywheel & Co.
(9) Yes, thanks. I sent my reply to Eric’s printer. Stand by.
Dr. H: Message received and understood ;o)
Dr. H: Message received and understood ;o)
(11,12) Message obviously made twice as much sense as anticipated.
Eric - why not try having a printer that doubles up as a photocopier, or vice versa? Then you’ll have unwanted junk coming out of your ears - if you haven’t already.
They're now coming out in duplicate - Quick, Eddie, turn the printer off again!
And while I'm at it, a word of congratulation to a regular frogger for hitting the headlines today.
some sense into it!
xx
ed
Eddie
In your possession you say "There is a huge printout too of what to do in the event of a Royal death..."
A small point but I wonder, would that document be of assistance to what I believe is the 4th Royal Coroner to be appointed to review Princess Diana's untimely death..? 10 years ago.
It seems, the Royal Coroners haven't/don't quite know what to do...
I can see it now - Buckingham Palace. "...Arise Sir Eddie..."
It does have a certain "ring" to it...
I blame it all on Eddie's low slung trousers. ;-)
Eddie, I think you need one of .
Big Sis (15)
H...I am out of the loop at the mo....
re:And while I'm at it, a word of congratulation to a regular frogger for hitting the headlines today.
.......who dun the dirty deed?
Eddie, do you have a product manual that disappeared into the ether this morning? Would you mind sending it to Japan? Thanks.
"PC Load Letter? What the f*** does that mean?"
What no gossip on the printouts?
Sis,
".......who dun the dirty deed?"
Eponymously self-inflicted?
;-)
ed
you need one of those ones that is a priner a photcopier AND a scanner. I'm sure we had this conversation once before when Lissa had to go round on her knees begging to be alowed to use the Today program's scanner. This way you'll have your own.
BTW talking of the Today program THEY had the trail for shopwoman this morning. I would threaten to ring up the log and scream if it was on PM again, but we've got visitors coming for 5 days this pm and I won't be able to listen. So if you do get it fellow froggers, - enjoy!
BTW - what is that we Cornish are doing to outsiders??
witchi - apparently some of you are threatening to hound Oliver and Stein back over the Tamar or else:
Piper, 17
I see your point.
Also, thinking about Eddie's words:
"There is a huge printout too of what to do in the event of a royal death..."
Makes me wonder if the print-out's been ordered now, as a Royal Death is anticipated.
I wonder.., imminently? And whose?
Maybe Edde would consider letting us know what information he has in this evening's PM.
The information will be quite safe with us froggers...
Big Sister (15): who is it? where is it? Is it the case of Me vs the Plusnet Spam?
Things missing from over here:
Final travel itinerary and tour schedule for next week.
Copies of view trips for flights on sunday
The office tea and coffee order
All my Euro accounts
Chris's Jack and the Beanstalk script.
If anyone spies them perhaps they could shoo them back over here???
Many thanks all
EdI: What are you on today? I'd like some too! I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.
DIY: Nobody done the deed, but somebody spun a yarn.
Rachel -
Thanks for that. I hate it when this type of thing gets coverage. There are so many problems with poverty, second homes, rising age of the population etc etc and they all get overtaken by this kind of ridiculous behaviour. These 'militants' really do more harm than good; and its so ridiculous to think we could ever be an independent 'country'....I only hope that PM manages to pick some rational interviewees (please please PLEASE not John Angarrick).
Sis (31),
1. A windy platform
2. Neither do I
3. All we hear is spin
xx
ed
This is almost a daily ocurrence in Modern Life.
Never mind the printer! Look out the !
;-)
ed
Eddie, I think that if you were to post the entire contents of some of those documents on the blog, instead of just listing the titles, you might pretty soon get a new printer. Or get fired, of course.
Btw, my mum swears she heard you on the radio in New Zealand recently. She couldn't remember what it was about, only that it was funny. Now
1) Is she hopelessly confused?
2) Have you been interviewed by Radio New Zealand & not told us?
3) Have you been "sampled" without your knowledge? or:
4) Have your plans for world domination finally come to fruition, & you're starting with New Zealand?
Answers please. Only when you've finished jumping up & down on that printer until it's properly broken, of course.
Anything in the office goes wrong, and they always blame me.
Someone sends me a document, I print it. They would soon complain if I didn't. But I was burning my laser pretty hot today, it probably means someone else's printer has run out of paper, and instead of refilling it, they divert all those print jobs to me.
Did I ask for that?
Annasee
Seems your Mum was right. Possibly, dead right.
In the same way, it would appear, the "Beeb" can anticipate a Royal death, Eddie, may have been opportunistically auditioning for the vacancy in Kiwi land soon to be caused by a Mr Barrymore's return to Blighty.
Hopefully, Eddie will rule his expanding empire from London...
Charlie (38),
"Hopefully, Eddie will rule his expanding empire from London..."
Dundee, more likely.
³§±τΓ΅Ύ±²Τ³Ω±π
ed
Gill Stone.....great strapline! Don't remember seeing one of yours before. ;o)
Gillian, you're too modest!
Gillian, you're too modest!
.....................
Oh dear, slow blog......and now Room 502
.....................
let's try again
Big Sis:
?
Gillian - I noticed. Wey-hey! (Whatever that means - anyway, it's a sound indicative of congratulations).
And whoever this Gill Stone is, she's definitely too modest. You should tell her!
Frances O:
?
Gillian:
;o)
I'm slightly concerned that Rhod Sharp needs a printout to tell him who he is.
It makes me wonder if the Today presenters have the time written down on a piece of paper.
Erm... At least you guys didn't send anything to the wrong city, or county, or region even, ha ha... Oops...
My dubbing order for a Countryfile mixing session in Birmingham is somewhere down in London as we speak. Entirely my fault though, selecting the wrong printer... Obviously I knew exactly what I was doing and just thought I'd test how far we could walk to pick it up.