Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ

I have been drowned in emails, phone calls and blog comments about disability access to the Live 8 main concert in Hyde Park this Saturday. You need info, we're hearing you. We put in a call to Harvey Goldsmith Productions, first and foremost to try and get you a good solid contact so that you can get the latest info.

We were put through to Harvey's assistant, and she tells us that she is happy to receive emails. I explained to her that I was going to publish her address on a Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ website that hundreds of thousands of people read monthly, but she told me to go ahead anyway. On her head be it.

So, you need to email Nancy for info: nancy@harveygoldsmith.com.

We are aware that spaces are tight and are told we'll get a full statement about disability access at the event shortly. Meantime, those of you who have tickets and are unsure whether your access needs will be met - well, we wish you good luck.

You have just two months left to fleece out of a
considerable amount of wonga to help you with life and career development. Read on.

If you're aged 17-25, have big ideas and can impress the board at the mega charity (who seem to be taking over the disability world at the moment), then maybe you ought to stick in an application form for this . It could make reaching those goals that bit easier.

The charity's website says: "The bursary is intended to give you a chance to broaden your horizons and expand your capacity to make a positive impact in relation to your chosen cause". It suggests that the winning applicant might, for instance, wish to use it to fund: additional studies, expanding your mind through travel or to help test a project idea you have.

Additional benefits include access to a network of senior people through Scope patron David Grayson, and possible mentoring opportunities.

The bursary runs in tandem with their famous graduate calibre scheme. All applications to be in by 26 August. What are you waiting for?

"You see, you've got to start thinking about us in terms of society, not the medical screw ups that we are." This is a direct quote from Bert Massie. Actually, no it's not. I lied. How else do you introduce a weblog item about the Social model of disability, yet still keep everyone interested? They're gonna think this is some kind of essay!

Listen up anyway. Da social model of disability it b cool. Da medical model of disability ain't cool, kidz. And before anyone accuses us of 'dumbing down', let me remind you that where I come from that's disablist talk, spacker. Oops, there I go again!

We've had some emails in recent months, plus a bit of chat on the messageboard, about the importance of these two thought models that - though many people may not realise it - are key to the understanding of our lives, how we live them, how we're forced to live and/or how we're treated. We thought it was time to point you towards some info about it all.

The renowned online collaborative encyclopedia has a , and also a . And the great thing here is that if you don't like their definitions, you can go and change them. That's what Wikipedia, and all other wikis, are all about, innit. Word.

Are you a stressed parent? The popular parenting show The House of Tiny Tearaways, featuring leading child psychologist Dr Tanya Byron, is returning for a second series on Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ television, and the team are keen to include more diversity in the programme. This could mean you, if you are a disabled parent or have disabled children. Or have a disabled piece of furniture (we made that last bit up, that'd be rubbish TV - well, unless it was a daytime show, in which case you could sell it or remake it or something).

The Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ and Outline Productions would like to hear from families and single parents with children between the ages of 2 and 8 who wish to take part.

Whatever your parenting dilemmas or problems, The House of Tiny Tearaways may be able to help.

If you would like some more information about the show, please email: tinytearaways@outlineproductions.co.uk or call 020 7428 6037.

No commitment is needed at this stage, and all calls will be treated with strict confidence.

The first day of this year's Glastonbury Festival has been severely disrupted by , leaving the site knee-deep in muddy water. So how are disabled festival-goers coping in these atrocious conditions? We spoke to Flash Wilson - Ouch writer and hardened Glasto veteran - earlier this afternoon to find out how things are going down in rain-soaked Somerset, Check out the full report right now in our Behind the News section - and then thank your lucky stars that you decided to avoid the festival this year!

Yo yo yo, dis is da MC Crippled Monkey, down wiv da cripz in da hood, innit? Or something.

No, I can't do it. I'll have to speak normally.

Right, so can any of you hip young things out there, with your finger on the pulse of what the kids are listening to, enlighten me as to what the possibly offensive title of the album Hannicap Circus is all about? It's the new CD by a US rapper called Bizarre, who is a member of the D12 collective famous for working with Eminem. I'm very confused. (Apologies for not providing a link to a review anywhere - all the pages I found included a tracklisting containing some very, er, fruity song titles, or details of lyrics of the sort that you wouldn't want your mother to hear.)

is hiring. They're looking for a new team to take their project to the next level.

Open Up is a project set up to help bust discrimination. It brings together people with experience of mental distress and madness who want to make a difference by either creating, or getting involved with, successful local anti-discrimination initiatives.

There are 4 positions they wish to fill: Development Manager, Training Manager, Research & Information Coordinator and Administrator/Research Assistant. Find full details on their .

Good luck if you apply.

There's a fascinating article in Monday's New York Times, all about a new trend amongst people with prosthetic limbs. We've apparently entered the age of , in which people - especially young men - are choosing to keep the metal and electronics of their limbs exposed for all to see, even polishing and enhancing them, rather than having them modelled to appear more human.

The article makes a number of 'cyborg' references when discussing this powerful new (fashion?) statement. "There is a kind of cyborg consciousness, a fluidity at the boundaries of what is flesh and what is machine, that has happened behind our backs," says one commenter, whilst another calls these prosthetic limbs "Terminator legs". And because we are so used to seeing people carrying around personal technology these days - whether that's mobiles, MP3 players or laptops - it's seemingly not such a big deal to see young men recharging their limbs' batteries in public or plugging their prosthetics into their computers to recharge their software.

I'd be intrigued to know what you think of this trend, even whether you've seen it yourself - particularly in the UK. Or is this just an American phenomenon so far?

Following yesterday's entry about the return of Switch to Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ TWO in early 2006, as promised more details are now available about how you can audition for a number of roles in the hit BSL drama series. More details on the Switch website.

If you've been a regular reader of Ouch's weblog for some time, you'll know that I, Crippled Monkey, have a complete inability to avoid cute disabled animal stories. Because I'm an animal too, don't forget. So it shouldn't come as any surprise that I'm bringing you this vital, headline-grabbing report: . It's got a photo too. Aw, bless. Send links to any cute disabled animal stories you spot around the web to the usual address.

Monkey's web tip for today is , the site of a national literature and performance charity which exists to celebrate and promote the poetry and creative expression of survivors of mental health problems. The site has info on local groups and events, but best of all they offer their online. I spotted a feature called , and also reviews of the most recent play by and poems by . Looks like there's some fascinating material here - worth checking out.

We've just heard that Switch - the BSL drama series that originally transmitted as part of See Hear, and which has been a big hit with both deaf and hearing viewers - will return for a fourth series early next year. Keep an eye on the Switch website too, because it'll be carrying details of auditions for new characters just as soon as they're announced.

Well, it's been all over the news, of course - the story of Martin Crowson, the 53-year-old man from Eccles in Greater Manchester, who has been jailed for 12 months following years of making false claims for disability benefits. He racked up exactly Β£17,365 after saying that he was "virtually unable to walk", but his fraud was discovered when investigators found photos of him during a holiday in Florida. Oh, and he was also training for a black belt in the martial art of Ju-Jitsu (that's Mr Crowson, I mean - not the alligator).

The Mirror reports one of the fraud investigators as saying that Mr Crowson had a novel explanation for the alligator photo:

"He claimed the animal had its mouth taped shut - but at the end of the day it was a hardly a cuddly animal. We are all calling him Crocodile Dumb-dee now."

Frankly, now that Mr Crowson's gone away for a stretch at Her Majesty's Displeasure, Crippled Monkey is more concerned about the welfare of that poor, poor alligator. After all, if his mouth was taped up, doesn't that mean he was theoretically (and temporarily) disabled?

Echoing the thoughts of a number of Ouch readers, here's a quote from the Online section in yesterday's Guardian newspaper, which begins an article about :

"Bob Geldof specialises in annoying people. But surely he didn't set out to offend blind music fans by handling applications for Live8 concert tickets by text message only. As the RNIB gently pointed out this week, texting is the one e-channel that automatically excludes almost all blind and partially sighted people."

Oh, and check out the first comment added to the post about LIVE 8 below - Ciaran was lucky enough to get himself a pair of tickets, and tells us a little about what he knows about access so far.

Back at the start of June, as the text message ticket lottery was announced, we posted an entry on the blog about how the whole ticketing thing would work for disabled people, including some early (but slightly sketchy) details from the organisers.

Well, now that the competition is over and the lucky winners are being contacted (not me, incidentally - but hey, I'm not bitter), we want to know if any Ouch readers out there were lucky enough to secure a pair of these hugely desired tickets to the Hyde Park gig. If so, have you heard anything about disabled access and facilities at the concert? Is there going to be a raised platform for wheelchair users, that kind of thing?

Leave a comment if you've got any details. Cheers.

It's back! Ouch readers (that's you lot) spent nearly six weeks nominating your Greatest Disabled TV Characters from all genres and eras of TV programming. We've now counted up those nominations, and can reveal the final top ten - which means it's time to vote for your favourite!

We've been dead chuffed at the huge variety of names that made the final ten, so get over there, read the profiles of each character, and place your vote. And then tell your friends to place their votes. And tell your friends to tell their friends to - well, you get the idea.

The poll stays open for just over two weeks, and at the end we'll be able to announce the winner of the award that's already established itself as second only to getting a BAFTA (OK, I admit it: that last bit may not be entirely true).

First, there was in the '70s (ask your mother). Then there was in the last series of The X Factor (ask your kids). And now there's (er, ask the nearest fan of World Music).

Actually, Amadou et Mariam are a bit different from the other two duos, who were made up of the pairing of a blind male singer with a sighted female, because this middle-aged married couple from Mali are both blind. I've listened to a little of their music via their (which is all in French - sorry!) and it's quite poppy and funky, offering a little sunlight on such a grey and overcast day.

Looking for a better description, I asked our office's resident expert on the World Music scene - Colin, who works on the Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ's Skillswise website - to sum up Amadou et Mariam's sound rather more knowledgeably, and he informed me that it's "traditional Malian music, sprinkled with a flavour of Francophone pop". So there you go.

Amadou et Mariam, then. Definitely worth checking out - and you can do just that by watching Later with Jools Holland this Friday at 11.35pm on Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ TWO. Coldplay are on, too - if that's more your musical cup of tea.

are looking for deafblind people to help them in two projects at the moment. Here are some details

In partnership with Bristol's , the charity is looking for deafblind people to help them with a new national lifestyle and communications project funded by the Big Lottery Fund.

The team on are deaf or deafblind themselves and keen to hear about your experiences and future plans.

Researcher Susannah Barnett told us: "Through interviews and group workshops led by a deafblind researcher - deafblind people will be led through a series of questions and discussions about their everyday lives and how they view the world around them. In the later stages of the project, deaf people will also be drawn into the discussions. We want to consider if their experiences are similar to those of deafblind people and how the two groups might benefit from more collaboration in the future."

So if you're a DB'er aged 21-65 and use sign / tactile communication methods then email susannah.barnett@sense.org.uk. All expenses reimbursed and - woah kids we smell money - a small fee too.

Also, if you're deafblind and have a mind to start some campaigning to change this old world we live in and promote appreciation and understanding, Sense are offering a free training weekend that could well be up your street. It's part of their project and includes sessions on political lobbying, using media and planning.

The training is on the weekend of the 5th and 6th November and all happens in Cambridge. For more details contact liz.ball@sense.org.uk.

As you see, I've dropped the 'Blogwatch' title for my regular round-up of sites to click on in the wonderful world of disability blogging. This followed some understandable confusion over the 'Blogwatch' name. Besides, with Crimewatch and Springwatch already on the Beeb, we were entering a crowded field.

First up, let me tell you about . Turtle, whose dream in life is to review music for a living, is a regular on the Ouch messageboard. One of the latest entries on her blog concerns the used to accompany oh-so-tragic TV items about disabled people - notably Trouble by Coldplay and Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac (the clue's in the lyrics). Personally, I like something uplifting to accompany my disability-on-TV moment - Angels by Robbie Williams, maybe. Or maybe not.

Next, from Bristol we have . Cat is a 28-year-old French teacher with Borderline Personality Disorder (hence the title, see?) She's also included a on her blog homepage, which you can use to find out what it's like to be her and live with Borderline Personality Disorder. Very cool - though prepare your index finger for a LOT of mouse clicking!

Last, but my no means least (as they say in all the best awards ceremonies), we've got by Stephen Miller. Stephen's yet another regular on the messageboard, and also a Paralympic athlete. He describes his site as being "full of quite deep poems at the moment", although Crippled Monkey has taken an immediate liking to Stephen's latest verse called .

That's yer lot for now, then. Don't forget - if you're one of the growing legion of disabled bloggers out there, drop me a line at the usual address for a mention and maybe get added to our blogroll. I'm not going to rest until the crip-bloggers rule the blogosphere!

If you use adaptive technology or customised browser settings to access the Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ website, then the people at are interested in talking to you. In partnership with the Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ, they're developing a unique web resource which will explain how to use the accessibility features of the Windows, Mac and Linux operating systems, all major browsers, and a range of adaptive technology to enable anyone to enhance their experience of using the web.

To help the service reflect the real life experience of people who access bbc.co.uk in a 'non-standard' way, they want to hear about how you use the Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ site with adaptive technology, a customised operating system or specifically-tailored browser settings. They're interested in what the Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ is doing right, but they also want constructive feedback on where the site could be improved.

All they need is twenty minutes of your time - and ideally a good quality photo of yourself. There's a Β£10 gift voucher in it for your trouble, plus an opportunity to contribute to a key accessibility website.

So if you're interested and want to find out more, contact Jon Gooday at AbilityNet, either by telephoning 020 7843 5405, or by emailing him at jon.gooday@abilitynet.org.uk.

The worst disability pun of the week award goes to the following headline about Keith White, a disabled sailor with one arm, who has just embarked on a sailing adventure around the British Isles to coincide with the 200th anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar: . Argh.

If any Ouch readers out there are looking for a fully-adapted new home, there's one available in Chingford, Essex, according to a story in the .

John Paynton, the tenant, wants the council to rehouse him. He currently lives in a two-bedroom adapted home, even though he's not disabled himself. The house was provided for his disabled parents, who died 18 years ago, and now John wants to be moved to a one-bedroom flat. But apparently, the council won't cooperate.

"I can't believe it. It has widened doors, panic buttons and a wall phone. It's too big for me - there is only me and my cat." says John. "Where I volunteer at the Disability Centre, there are loads of people who need places with adaptations."

So is it just me who's wondering why it took him 18 years to finally get round to objecting to having widened doors and a fully accessible bathroom?

In The Guardian today there's an interesting about a French-based international disability charity that's been criticised by disability activists in the UK for choosing to use the same name over here as they do over there - .

On this side of the Channel, of course, 'handicapped' is seen as an offensive and outdated term (number 9 in Ouch's Worst Word Vote, fact fans), but in France there's no word for 'disabled', and so they took on the dreaded H word when it came to naming the charity.

We're keen to hear your views on this. Is it a case of language differences between two cultures, which we should accept? Or should the charity seek to fit in with our terminology and change its name? Let us know in the comments.

Ouch reader Stella Young, who hails from South Melbourne in Australia, has been in touch to tell us about a fantastic story that's been hitting the headlines in the state of Victoria over the past few days. A short person called Bruce Chaplin, whose nickname is apparently "Giant" (it's ironic, I think), was fined 150 dollars for being on a tram without a ticket. But he claimed that he had a very good reason for this - it was because he couldn't reach the money slot on the ticket machine. Previously, he'd asked other commuters for help him get his ticket - even though they sometimes took advantage by stealing his cash - but on this occasion there was no one around. Stella sent us a link to from the Herald Sun newspaper, under the headline "Short-changed" (which, though I don't like to admit it, is kinda clever).

But that wasn't the end of the matter. Bruce wasn't going to just take the fine lying down, and his subsequent battle against bureaucracy turned him into a , with complete strangers offering to buy his tickets for him - not to mention plenty of beers at the local pub.

His fight has paid off too, because the State Government has announced that it's withdrawn his fine, saying that the tram inspectors should have helped him buy the right ticket rather than automatically imposing a penalty. And what did the Herald Sun choose as their headline this time? Er, .

Crippled Monkey salutes you, Bruce. Have a virtual tinny on Ouch, y'hear?

Remember the entry from a few days ago about the 'blind' restaurant that's coming to London, where diners sit around in complete darkness in order to really 'appreciate' the food? Well, it seems that this isn't the only entertainment that can be had out of pretending to be visually impaired.

If you're a stressed-out young professional feeling overwhelmed by the frantic pace of modern life, you can now pay Β£425 to spend a weekend at a countryside retreat, where you are blindfolded for the entire time. The aim of this exercise is to open the "inner eye", and activate the "dream part of the brain, encouraging visions". Honestly, I'm not making this stuff up.

Of course, how quickly you get to this higher level of consciousness is another matter, 'cos the poor sighties have to get used to things like staircases, finding the way to their rooms, bumping into furniture, walking to the end of the garden, and making cups of tea without spilling the hot water and burning their fingers. Bless 'em, eh?

Crippled Monkey spots a potential market here - disability-themed adventure breaks. Be deaf for a weekend! Enjoy a tropical island break with autism! Spend a few days sightseeing in a wheelchair! (Oh, I forgot, Gaby Roslin's already done that, hasn't she?)

But back to the story, which you can find in last weekend's . At the end of the weekend, you get to take the blindfold off and 'see' again. The writer, Katy Weitz, describes it as: "the sight of nature in all its majesty was overwhelming. I could see everything. From the tiniest hair on the outside of a leaf to the iridescent sequins on the inside of a petal and the minuscule contours on the body of a dragonfly." Blimey. We're back to Gaby's "I feel so lucky" moment as she stood up from her wheelchair, aren't we?

I'm going to suggest to the Ouch team that we produce some Ouch-branded blindfolds, in order to offer our sighted readers that authentic 'blind experience' in the comfort of your own home. And we won't charge Β£425 for them, either.

If you're a disabled driver in the High Wycombe area of Buckinghamshire, you'll no doubt have been spending the past few days in the company of animals. But for those of us not in the neighbourhood, I'd better explain about the sign that was recently placed outside a multi-story car park in the town whilst part of it was closed for refurbishment. It instructed "disabled badger holders" to park their vehicles on the first floor (see the for the full story of the sign-writing slip-up).

Disabled badgers. Arf. Well, it made me laugh, anyway.

I'm taking another look at sites out there in the disability blogosphere, thanks to people sending their URLs into the Ouch inbox. Remember - if you've got a site you think we'd like, drop us a line. Beeping onto my radar today are the following two blogs.

South Park fans will no doubt instantly recognise the title of this site: (it's based on the way Timmy from the series says his name, just in case you don't know what on Earth I'm going on about). Timothy's blog is "a mix of amateurish CSS and Mac OS X tips" - ooh, technical! - "interspersed with my observations on life with muscular dystrophy. Clicking around his site, I also discovered Timothy's rather terrific "disabled amateur's photoblog" called . Nice pics.

Also worth a click of your mouse is . Bert's a regular on our messageboards, where he enjoys the "in depth and if not strange discussions". (Strange? Is our messageboard strange?!) As a starting point to Bert's blog, I recommend you check out his marvellous post about, er, . Honest, it's not as odd as it sounds.

Occasionally on the weblog, we like to bring you news of TV or theatre productions looking for disabled actors (well, it stops the non-disabled actors getting all the jobs, doesn't it?) and here's the latest one that's dropped into Ouch's inbox.

Soundproof is a forthcoming single film for Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ TWO, which will be workshopping and filming from mid-September to the end of October, in London. They're looking for three deaf or partially deaf actors, and would love to hear from anyone (whether or not they have previous professional experience) who feels they would be suitable.

First up, they're looking for a very talented deaf actors in his 20's or 30's to play the leading man, Dean. The character is profoundly deaf and uses lip-reading and sign language exclusively. He's attractive, charismatic, sexy - and could be dangerous. He has been in trouble with the police before the story starts - but he is an innocent man wrongly suspected of murder. He's also one half of a love story - his partner being the female interpreter assigned to him by the police.

Also required is a partially hearing actress in her early to mid-20's to play Jak. She lip reads, but also speaks with the aid of powerful hearing aids. She chooses to speak most of the time, but does sign when with deaf friends.

Finally, they're also looking to cast a deaf actress to play a smaller part. Heather is in her 20's, lively and fun, and she signs.

Do any of those descriptions sound like a part you could play? Or do you know someone who might fit one of the roles? If so, email jill@trevellick.force9.co.uk, or apply by post to: Jill Trevellick Casting, 123 Rathcoole Gardens, London N8 9PH. All applications should include a photograph.

The small Welsh town of Hay-On-Wye is currently playing host to the annual Hay Festival of literature. According to The Guardian, one session that has caused a huge stir amongst the literary types was all about . It seems that attitudes to dyslexia, however, still have some way to go, as the piece describes "academic peers [who] fell around laughing" when they learned that Vicki Goodwin was not only writing a book about the subject, but also going to the heart of one of the world's foremost book luvvie festivals to talk about it. (Thanks to Ouch columnist Liz Main for the link.)

If you can avoid grinding your teeth at the American use of the dreaded h-word, take a look at this new article from Ragged Edge magazine: . Written by Patrick William Connally, it compares the disablism we experience now with the sexism experienced by women in the '50s and '60s. For 'women' read 'disabled', for 'men' read 'non-disabled' - and then it all begins to make sense.

So what do you reckon? Is this a good comparison to make?

If you're in the London area on Monday 13 June, and you fancy taking in some disability arts on stage, you might be interested in Stars Are Out Tonight, a new production by at the Lyric Hammersmith.

Amici is a renowned dance theatre group featuring both disabled and non-disabled performers, and for this production - which marks their 25th anniversary - they're collaborating with , a theatre company which is well-known for its innovative approach to drama. This production features all 35 members of Amici - plus masks, puppetry, live music and improvisation. Oh, and an opera singer. It'll be fascinating to see how they get all that across in the BSL interpreted and audio described performance on 13 June at 7.30pm - though if you want to see the show at other times it runs from 10 - 13 June. Full details can be found on the website.

Even though Sir Bob Geldof only announced the huge series of concerts yesterday, our inbox and the messageboard have already received quite a few queries about how the 'text message lottery' to get tickets for the London gig in Hyde Park will work for disabled gig-goers.

Well, I've been on to the organisers at Harvey Goldsmith Productions, and so far the info is as follows. First, you have to enter the from Monday 6 June to Sunday 12 June, along with everyone else. If you're one of the lucky winners, you'll receive a text message informing you of this after 13 June. At that point, you'll be directed to the , where there will be details of a telephone line to call to confirm tickets for disabled people.

The exact number of tickets in the disabled allocation hasn't been confirmed yet, due to the small matter of the size of the stage, but it will be on a first come first served basis. Oh, and if you're a lucky ticket winner who intends to bring a carer, he/she should be included on your ticket.

Don't forget, though, that this is early information. We'll bring you more details as and when we get them. In the meantime, get your mobile phone at the ready for the forthcoming texting frenzy!

"War! (Uh huh, yeah!) What is it good for? Absolutely nuthin'!" go the lyrics of the famous song. Well, it turns out that it could be good for your mental health, actually.

There are always lots of theories about activities that are good for people with mental health problems. A couple of days ago it was ; a few months back it was . But never mind all that, because following research with servicemen and women who had just returned from Iraq, a team from Kings College London has announced that is not necessarily bad for a soldier's mental health. In fact - get this! - in some cases, they found a significant improvement in soldiers' psychological well-being following a spell on the frontline.

Crippled Monkey says: got mental health problems? Well, chuck away your spade and your pedometer, and get yourself off to a good war somewhere. Alternatively, a safer option might be to just rent out a load of military movies on DVD. I recommend Saving Private Ryan, Apocalypse Now and A Bridge Too Far. You know it makes sense.

I'm beginning to think that the Daily Mirror is on some kind of disability crusade. Either that, or it's a very quiet news week. Yesterday we had the one-legged man story, as covered right here on the weblog, while on the same day the paper also chose to report on the now slightly old news that because of problems with the biometric technology. And on the day before it had the story of the visually impaired woman who crashed a car after taking the wheel in place of her drunk friend. The headline? , of course!

Today's Mirror story concerns Brian Hood, a who has Huntington's Disease. When US police at the SeaWorld theme park in Florida found Brian "trembling uncontrollably because of a crippling disorder" (nice language there, thanks) they thought he was drunk. So he was thrown to the floor, handcuffed, arrested, and put in jail for three days.

There's something about theme parks and disabled people, isn't there? Maybe Brian and his wife should have gone to one of the Hillsyville parks instead. Or maybe not.

The Blunkett scandal - remember that? Seems like ages ago, doesn't it? You read the ! You sang along to the one-off ! You bought the t-shirt! (OK, there wasn't a t-shirt.) And now, coming to a television near you soon, it's .

The film is called A Very Social Secretary, and it will air as part of the opening night schedule of More4, a Channel 4 offshoot digital channel, in October - so it's obviously being viewed as quite a ratings grabber. And rather than a straight drama, it's actually going to be more of a satire, in order to avoid possible legal action. Very cunning, eh?

Of course, what we here at Ouch are interested in is who's actually going to play the Blunkmeister. When the musical was staged back in April, they called in Mark Perry, who does the impersonations of Blunkett on Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ TWO's Dead Ringers. But Perry isn't blind, is he? With non-disabled actors continuing to be controversially cast as disabled characters in too many instances, is it too much to hope that the film-makers might at least seek out a blind actor to play the role of the UK's most famous blind person?