Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ

We've been contacted by a casting company, asking us to let Ouch readers - who might also be budding actors - know about five roles for disabled people in a forthcoming ITV drama (yes, we know it's the competition - ssshh, don't tell anyone!). The production is called Footprints in the Snow, and is based on a true story. It's set in Hampshire (though the shoot will take place around London), and the company describes this one-off TV film as featuring: "Caroline Quentin, [who] plays Julie, an energetic, vivacious woman who works as a sales-rep for a brewery, until a car crash changes her life." Although that makes it pretty obvious that the lead role has already been taken - and it's gone to an AB too! - there are still five other chances to get on telly, innit?

Although acting experience is preferable, people who have no previous acting background will also be considered. Here are the parts they're still looking to cast (the descriptions are in the casting company's own words, so don't blame us, OK?):

Ιω Becky: 16 - 23. Recently totally paralysed competition swimmer. A fighter of great courage who becomes Julie's best friend. Big supporting role.

Ιω Eamonn: 23 - 40. Paraplegic, comedian, Irish. Becomes friend of Julie. It is not vital that the actor be Irish as long as he has good comic timing. Good supporting role.

Ιω Steve: 17 - 25. Bath Rugby player. Tetraplegic.

Ιω Vivien: 25 - 40. Horse-riding accident. Tetraplegic.

Ιω David: 23 - 40. Rugby club bar accident. Tetraplegic.

If you're interested, contact the casting agency via email or post, enclosing a CV and photo and marking your correspondence FAO Footprints in the Snow. The deadline is 15 January, 2005.

Email: ingridpoko@aol.com

Address: Carrie Hilton Casting, The Barley Mow Centre, 10 Barley Mow Passage, London W4 4PH.

And don't forget to say that the Crippled Monkey sent you.

Ah, that got your attention, didn't it?

has recently launched the biggest ever of disabled people's sexual experiences and views - and they want your input. The survey has been written by a psychologist and senior lecturer at The Institute of Sexuality and Human Relations and is, of course, completely anonymous.

And they're not just asking these questions out of curiosity, either. The results will be used to lobby much more effectively for improved, accessible services - and to help alter the sense of mystery and the taboos surrounding sex and disability.

Ιω .
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(No, I'm not going to tell you what my answers were.)

Considering the media storm that surrounded his own recent exit from front bench politics, it's possibly not very surprising to learn that Boris Johnson - Tory MP, Spectator editor and occasional host of Have I Got News For You? - has some sympathy for David Blunkett over his resignation. Unfortunately, it's not for the more obvious reasons. Here's an excerpt of what Boris had to say about the whole affair on his :

"... I can't help wondering whether I am alone in feeling melancholy at the ruin of Blunkett. Whatever you think of his conduct of the Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ Office - and I am not a fan - it is astonishing that a blind man could begin to manage a job like that."

Yes, it's astonishing, isn't it? Maybe he should have just accepted his lot in life and pursued a career as a piano tuner, eh?

Via the folks at , I've discovered what is possibly the first computer game based on the recent Blunkett scandal. It's called . Needless to say, ss soon as I caught the title I thought that this was going to be in very bad taste.

In the game, you play David Blunkett. It begins in a restaurant in Whitehall, where you're enjoying a quiet lunch without Sadie the guide dog by your side. Your mobile phone rings, summoning you to Downing Street for an urgent discussion about the nanny/visa scandal. You've got about a minute to get there and save your job, and it's up to the government official on the other end of the line to guide you with his instructions. The game involves you using the arrow keys on your keyboard to guide Blunkett round various obstacles as he races back to No.10. Of course, the crucial thing is that the screen remains completely black at all times.

It's a fascinating idea, and caused a great deal of interest here in the Ouch office. It's built in Flash which, as visually impaired readers know, can cause a lot of problems with screen-readers. However, turn off your screen-reader and follow the instructions telling you to go left, right or jump, and it seems to be playable.

So quite apart from being a cheeky take on the whole Blunkett saga (and we all know that we like a bit of cheekiness on Ouch), has shown what can be done towards making games that are more accessible. Give it a play yourself, and let us know what you think.

Come Christmas Day, once you've stuffed yourself with turkey and pudding, you'll be wanting to settle down in front of the TV and watch the Queen's Speech, won't you?

Well, there's an alternative this year. If you're a digital viewer, tune into the and watch disabled artist and single mother broadcasting her to the nation. Amongst a range of subjects, Alison will be discussing her artwork, the DDA, and motherhood. She'll also be looking forward to 2005, when Marc Quinn's 15-foot marble sculpture of Alison, showing her naked and pregnant, will take its place on the vacant fourth plinth in London's Trafalgar Square.

Ouch links:
Ιω Pregnant Alison sculpture not art? by Victoria Lucas
Ιω Child of our Time: Alison Lapper by Emma Bowler

We had an email in the Ouch inbox about a French online disability magazine called (you can read more about it on this page). Their latest article is about a (that's 'Weekend in London' to you and me), and could prove interesting reading to find out just how disability-friendly and accessible our capital is to foreign visitors. Or not, as the case may be ...

Sadly, Crippled Monkey's French language skills are virtually non-existent, so I'm going to have run it through Google's feature before I can make any sense of what it says. Oops.

Like most disabled people, Crippled Monkey is a HUGE fan of Glenn Hoddle (yes, I am being sarcastic). His comments about disabled people may be five years in the past, but I'm like an elephant, you see - I never forget. In fact, just for the sake of it, let's give his words another whirl:

"You and I have been physically given two hands and two legs and half-decent brains ... some people have not been born like that for a reason. The karma is working from another lifetime. What you sow, you have to reap."

So you can imagine the joy with which I read this Guardian headline: . But, er, by "wolves" they're apparently talking about a football team. Not actual wolves. Not one of those big animals that Little Red Riding Hood had so much trouble with.

Oh well, never mind. I really should follow sport more, shouldn't I?