Paper Monitor
10:51 UK time, Thursday, 28 March 2013
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Is it because we're approaching Easter? The weather? Or something else?
But there seems to be a glut of animal stories, making the papers resemble a Noah's Ark of news.
It's not all nice and cuddly. "Think YOU feel chilly? Britain's animals are freezing to death" . And we'll gloss over the dying pigeons.
The Times has reindeer and cats. The reindeer look splendid as they block most of a snowy road in the Cairngorms.
Pride of place on page 5 .
"Β£50 CatNav reveals all about tabby's night on the tiles." This is the story of David Evans from Marlborough in Wiltshire, whose cat was disappearing every night and putting on enough weight to suggest he was a regular at Chicken Cottage.
To solve the mystery Evans created "an ultra-light GPS" that he fixed to Yollo's collar. It means he can now track his moggy's every move. So the answer of the weight riddle is..?
"Now I know he travels a couple of miles each day, exactly where he goes every night and who's feeding him," Evans says. Rather infuriatingly he doesn't point the finger at Mrs Miggins at number 39 leaving out a bowl of milk or "the nice man in the Post Office" for putting out sausages.
The Daily Express .
A man's best friend costs its owner Β£13,000 in treats and demands walks of 550 miles a year .
But to rework Mark Twain, there are lies, damned lies and survey stories - yes it's a poll for an anti-flea product. Paper Monitor's favourite nebulous stat is the one saying that owners receive "almost 50,000 soppy licks" during a dog's lifetime.
The Daily Telegraph has a.
"Camel that got the hump. Rhino flees," runs the headline. "Three-ton rhinoceros or not, this interloper was sent packing by a male Bactrian camel when it came too close to its young at Longleat Safari Park in Wiltshire."
Finally, worst animal pun of the day goes to the Daily Mirror. runs the headline over a piece about a "lamb" curry that contained not a single trace of lamb.
DNA tests were run ruling out beef, chicken, pork, goat, horse...and even human flesh. "Eventually they were left with the grim possibility that the unidentified ingredient could be dog or cat meat."
Erm, Paper Monitor may be missing something. But isn't human flesh a little more grim than even cat? Paws for thought. Sorry.
The 
