ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ

Blaine:Watts keep falling on my head

The ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ now insists that all children’s TV presenters go through electro-convulsive β€œnormalisation” therapy

David Blaine plays his part in keeping energy costs down for the British consumer – overnight he absorbs cheap off-peak electricity, and stores it so it can be used at times of high usage

Van Der Naff Generator

Feat of endurance? But we can only see his head!

It's Blainey obvious he's heading for the stars with Sarah Brightman

I thought of it whilst strolling down Electric Avenue, actually.

After years of research, scientists actually prove it *is* every six seconds..

Of course it’s dangerous for David Blaine – some of that spaghetti could strangle him

Who says lightning never strikes twice?

Take that, Hr Vandegraaff.

How re-volting...

This week's links 'challenges' were caused by David and his massive power surge. Dolly was nowhere near.

Irons whilst the strike is hot.

King Faraday

Which is more shocking? Voltage or Ego? You decide.

You’ll have to pedal a lot faster David, it’s gone to penalties..

Bolts from the crew.

After his last two boring feats of endurance, David Blaine had been asked to lighten up a bit

Auditions were being conducted for the next series of Merlin

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

Unfortunately for David, the catheter had been connected directly to his helmet ...

No, not that switch...

Unfortunately, the illusion ended when David ran out of coins for the meter

Your Father was Frankenstein, your Mother was lightning!

I'm currently tied up, actually.

As the London Symphony Orchestra assembled for the concert, the musicians all looked forward to playing under their new lightning conductor

AC:DB

David Blaine - poles apart from all other performers.

You sane Blaine?

Dr Frankenstein looked at his creation and decided he preferred the first one.

"Anything to cure this damned ear wax," thought David

Even David thought living inside a Portuguese man o' war was weird stunt to perform.

And just who gave Eamonn Holmes that Taser?

Shocking!

La Cage aux Fool.

David smiled to himself, knowing that he had proved that lightning does not increase or affect human intelligence.

No, I said I wanted him put in a "Far Away Cage"!

Sorry, David, but it always pays to read the small print in a Doctor Who actor's contract first

You’ve not thought through this β€˜no natural fibres anywhere in the house’ thing, have you?

Next time, David Blaine decided, he'd just ask for a couple of paracetamols

Because ohm worth it...

I thought you wanted me to turn on Blackpool Illuminations, not be it!

And within two seconds, the whole block of ice had melted

David began to suspect that the manufacturers of his new state-of-the-art, hi-tech, robotic scuba diving helmet had not followed the proper healthy and safety sign off process.

"Now that Marcus Brigstocke guy can start calling me the Grid Wizard".

When dandruff shampoos fail.

To be more eco-friendly, all David Blaine's electricity was generated by a small dog on a treadmill - yes, he was using off-peke electricity

A New Yorker by birth. David Blaine was raised in The Battery

Can't you ever relax? Chill Blaine!

It's all very well for him, but nobody can get any decent Broadband any nearer than Albany

David Blaine is the first guest on the new ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ series 'Flash in the static'.

Boris Johnson is forced to have his hair re-permed after the Conservative Conference

Do you suffer from dry unmanageable hair? Then try the new Blaine hair net to avoid static frizz.

I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouch, scaramouch will you do the fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning - very very frightening me!!!!!

Missed the aurora borealis this week? K-Tel now allow you to create your own at home.

Controversial educational reforms to target Mastermind contestants.

David was more than a little surprised at Paul Daniels handshake buzzer.

At least this time David would be getting his eggs served fried.

David Blaine was sponsored by British Gas, but, unfortunately for them, things didn't go quite as they'd hoped

David was a one trick pony – every time he played Charades he mimed 'Metropolis'.

What a stunt! David Blaine was the toast of New York.

What I was wondering wasn't "How?" but "Why?"

David smiled to himself as he thought, "I bet the Daily Mail spells it as lightening!"

Dave's aura betrayed his real reaction to Boris' speech

Actually, it would have impressed me more if he'd just stuck a knife into an electric toaster

David Blaine takes over the role of Hannibal Lector in "Silence of the Lamb Kebabs"

Wow,that is quite some elec trickery!

Health & Safety insist we muzzle him, even though his arc is worse than his bite

David Blaine: "Live" on TV

ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔland series 2 starts; and Carrie's ECT had affected her in unexpected ways...

He put up little resistance when the aliens tried to abduct him

Mr Blaine failed in his endurance event after realising he had miscalculated the amount of change needed for the meter.

Vive le Potential Difference

Princess Beatrice starts hats shopping for christmas

The FA unveils its new sanction against Twitter abuse

Previous Prime Ministers are taken out of storage, dusted off, and re-energised in time to appear at this year's Conservative Conference

When David was prepared, his helmet was designed to give a little microwave ping, and the door would slowly open

Channel Five regrets to announce that this evening's programme, "When Illusions Go Wrong," has had to be cancelled ...

David Blaine deeply regretted buying his daughter a Spirograph for Christmas

A little to the left....to the right... thats it - now the picture is perfect

As I absorb the powers of the world's greatest magicians I can feel Penn & Teller's eccentricity, Derren Brown's mind control, David Copperfield's spectacular illusions, Paul Daniel's.....QUICK, TURN IT OFF, TURN IT OFF..........

Do you expect me to talk?
No Mr Blaine, I expect you to die!!

Forget The Rachel, ever since the Ryder Cup they'd been queuing up at salons for The Jimenez.

David finally started to understand why his Mum kept telling him to unplug the TV during thunderstorms

GUARANTEED to eliminate dementia or your money back!

David Blaine's adverts for Shredded Wheat were bound to be livelier than Ian Botham's

Attempts to shock Blaine out of his catatonic state,induced by low ratings were,ultimately,futile.

The precise moment when Dr Frankenstein decided his monsters had jumped the shark...

Asked later to comment Blaine said "YYYEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWW!"

David just wants to get rid of your shorts.

Ohm. My. God.

Looks like I picked the wrong day to wear chain mail...

If they ask me to do this again I'll re-fuse.

I've always considered myself to be well-grounded, actually.

Watts all this then?

What an electric light bulb looks like under a microscope

The throng and short of it.

David would never again forget the dryer sheet.

Despite all this, he still could not out-run the Duracell bunny!