ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ

The launch of the new submariner ejector seat does not go entirely to plan...

Channel 5 launch 'Jesus: Uncovered'

Dean was reported as saying he too was surprised at quite how high he got, but did point out that the Great White behind him was a "Great Motivator"...

After misbehaving, Dean was sent outside to cool his jets

Best pedicure, ever.

Colonic irrigation clinic finds an ingenious way around the hosepipe ban.

Take that, One Man One Jar

Never Tickle A Sleeping Whale.

Splash Gordon

Blocked Lake ? Send for Dean O'Malley.

No, Mr Bond, I expect you to fly.

"Just flew in, and boy are my arms tired." (Boom, tish)

Rush hour was a breeze

Take that, Mary Poppins.

H2-whoah!

Eric the flood demon arrives in Whitby to bring misery to the north of Britain.

That takes pedicure to a new level

"All right Vladimir - just because you never got invited on to the David Letterman Show..."

Dean was all smiles with his watership up ................

......... but it'll end in tears in Watership Down !!!

Nick Clegg gets a poll rise he didn't expect.

RyanAir introduce their new "Budget-extreme" Service

The latest Soda-syphons were too powerful for this cocktail-barman.

Dean unveils latest transport solution

Originally the Airgull, it was designed to be powered by the intake of air.

But it works much better in the sea.

Now it's the patent and copyright problems ..... as there's already a Seagull out there !!

After weeks of painstaking toil, scientists manage to recreate exact moment Downton Abbey jumped the shark.

The thief was seen fleeing the marina on a pair of big watery stilts.

Matthew Pincent trials the Trenton Oldfield Prevention System in preparation for next year's boat race.

Meanz Beanz Deanz

The Scuba Diving Curry Club loses it's final member.

Safety warnings issued for non Kitemark Chinese foot spars

Ooof!! Didn’t see that coming..

"Revenge of the Narwhal"

No worries. It's like parasailing, but a bit faster.

Dean, Dean - RELEASE THE ANCHOR!

Knots Landing!

No, busy breaking wind, I'm afraid.

As an alternative to new, higher flood defences, we plan to issue these to all residents of York.

I've finally got signal...

"Did somebody call for International Rescue?"

Super economy class has had its ups and downs.

So, exactly how many passengers will you be able to drag across the Atlantic on your new β€˜Cut price’ service?

I'm not a bird or a plane, but compared to some I am a superman.

This is why we don't include wax in the jetwash package

The Flighter side of the floods

Top Gun, after budget cuts.

The Bidet bites back!

Will you mare me?

Wash 'n' Brush Up 21st Century style

"...and the ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ understands that experts have traced the source of Britain's flooded waterways to a Mr D. O'Malley..."

Its the only way I can get a child free seat!!

Are you calling me an old geyser?!

How to one-up a segway tour.

Dean tried to impress the ladies by splashing out on two bottles of champagne.

.. and you can always use it to clear the floodwater from your living room!

Damn it, Q the thrust reversal is sticking again.

Trials in the Sahara desert are believed to have been somewhat less successful.

'Thar she blows.'

'Queequeg! No!'

I could have sworn the 3 rowing boats I just passed were there a moment ago.

As Baywatch makes a comeback, sneak previews suggest they may have replaced the trademark red float.

The ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ Secretary adopts Her Majesty's recommendations for dealing with French and Italian paparazzi.

Rapid growing seaweed discovered, Barista lifted 10 feet.

Just another jet ski mishap...

Dean immediately regretted not using a CORGI registered plumber.

Following the recent return of Dallas, Patrick Duffy gets started on the relaunch of The Man From Atlantis

'Still or sparkling in your whisky, sir?'

John Terry finds a new way of letting off steam !!

If he brings a water bomb to the fight, you bring a water pistol. If he brings a Super Soaker then you now know what to bring.

Comic sans fount

It looks like the Caption Competition is about to jump the shark.

Think happy thoughts to keep the jet packs working.

"...and if the patent application for the jet pack fails, I've got one for a double shower..."

GoogleMaps Operator is delighted to find dry land again!

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...

Fly fishing goes hi-tech

Hs speech was terrible, but there was no denying that Nick's entrance to the Lib Dem Conference was spectacular...

And we've had a bulk order from Hebden Bridge

When Heston steams prawns...........

It was his success in the walking-on-water test that clinched the Archbishop of Canterbury role for Dean...

I can see your houseboat from here

Aye Aye Cap'n, Up Periscope.... oops!

Jets when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...

Yes, I would like to see the other side of Bristol docks. But Justin Lee wants me to face this way

When Dave confused his wife's Waterfall tablets with his Viagra....

Right. We've run him up the flag pole, Captain, now let's see who salutes him.

"Flying machine this, jetpack that, Dean's always spouting off!"

Can you guess who made the Darwin Awards this year?

The return of Vlad the Impaler was marked by this grotesque water fountain

guess what John Terry is going to be playing with while he's not footballing for the next four weeks?

hosepipe ban?, what hosepipe ban?

An Environment Agency officer visits the drought stricken South East.

Moments later Dean inadvertently switched to suck and has not been seen or heard of since.

Call your coastguard if you're erect for more than four hours.

Ace Venturi, Jet defective

Does my bum look big on this?

In the end it's just a drop in the ocean

Jetsam

You know they wouldn't let me through the gates at Downing Street with this?

The Depend testing department went just that little bit further.

Go with the flow

The US Drug Enforcement Administration's new strategy for disposal of seized narcotics results in some very happy fish.