Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ

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Do I like Viking? I don't know - I've never viked.

'Let's go and raid the tuck shop'

Shetland phonies

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Prince William and Harry. The dressing up years.

Careful, the last blokes who organised something like this on Facebook are still doing time.

So this is Alex Salmond's uniform for his New Model Army

Are you ordering the tar barrels, Jarl?

So we're looting, pillaging and ... hang on, we're going to be moderated

Have you seen our dinner? Two slices of Ryvita!

Are you sure dad said when he was Googling Red Hot Vikings it was all about the festival?

Children's costumes available from the B'Odin catalogue.

Hey, the Scots have painted "MacBraynes" all over our longboat

That's not a pony. It's a Norse.

Aa, Viking Helly

"Yes, it looks like the next longboat in will be the 3.10 from Orkney"

A remote controlled Longship! Cooool!

Struggling to understand flat-pack furniture instructions has often been a Scandavian problem.

It's Alex Salmond's new game for the PSP - "Angry Sassenachs"

There's Norway you're gonna have a go on my games console.

Why do these people keep sending us stationery orders?

My dad says in the old days we all used to 'rope a pollock' or something....
Oh, but fishings so boring...

The Millibands - The Early Years
David the Terrible instructs Ed the Unintelligible...

"Norse ? Whats a Norse ?". "Well it has 4 legs and you ride it !"

So, where after 'devo plus' and 'devo max' does it ask whether we can devolve from Scotland?

It asks "Do you agree that Shetland should be an independent country?"

It was when Hägar wouldn't let Lucky Eddie play with his PSP that he became known as 'the Horrible'.

if you collect enough skulls to drink from you get to the next level

Two little boys had two little toys.
Each had a wooden longboat ...

"Its a parking ticket. I left my pony on a double yellow line."

Well, Mum always said you ate like a Norse

Hang on - IKEA want us to make another delivery in Lerwick

I told you! It says here that Health and Safety rules state that naked flames should not be carried through the streets without the appropriate safety guards, protective suits and definitely in the absence of fancy dress.

I knew the Americans would get it all wrong - we're auditioning for a role in "Only Fools and Norses"

The Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ sells "Outnumbered" to Norwegian Television

So, Xena versus Noggin the Nog, the Final Showdown, it doesn't get much better than that.

Here its is 'Viking Sagas'... Norwegian Fjord tour for the over 50's

"We're in the wrong place, Charlie. It says here that Valhalla was a majestic hall, not Shetland Village Hall."

Hey, Hamish! Look what mum's left lying around!
Do you think we should ask for a little brother or a little sister?

When's some idiot going to realise, we're dressed as the 'Legion of the 9th' and about to get slaughtered, Thornoggsen moaned

And, at the end, we get to burn Edward Woodward

This policy document definitely states that the longboat is insured for theft or fire ...

Throw the banana, avoid the green shells, make war, lay waste, ravage and plunder.

Sorry wee Brother of mine, but it states clearly in this contract that we DO have to go out in the cold dressed like this..

My Mother got it all wrong and came as a pantomime Dane

Oh no, it says Swedes are included - and that's the menu!

It says it's a Viking Saga - it must be longship insurance for the over-50s

Dad says we have to behave and follow the Norse Code.

I'm playing Super Magnus Brothers Karts

News that the governent was taking action to tackle trolls, spread fear in the Ericsson household...

A little known fact was that the average plundering Viking was only 3 feet tall.

King Olaf regretted invading America

I'm just checking the list of places to rob and pillage, and I see that after Mothercare it's Toys R Us.....

Commodus was going to regret stealing Maximus' Gameboy

The cunning Vikings unleash Angry Birds upon the unwary Shetlanders

Gotterdammerung!!! Just about to complete the game and Heimdall blows his horn

Parents mis-interpret the message of keeping their children indoors to help them thaw out

Mario Kart vs. Ride of the Valkyries

As Thor hogged the Gameboy yet again Loki started to plot his revenge

There are supposed to be horns on our helmets, so we must have them inside-out. No wonder we're having headaches.

Reasons not to take part in this years costume parade: #24

Nintendo were heavily criticised for product testing Immortal Combat over 1000 years before the release of the 3DS

And then there's a rousing finale with the whole cast singing "There is Nothing Like a Dane"

If he couldn't get the kindle to work, and he had to recite Noggin the Nog from memory it was going straight on the log-fire

Do the instructions say to pilladge before we burn?

#nogblog

'What's happened to your voice?'
'Thor throat'

It was the last time Lars and Hedda would be inveigled into joining one of King Olaf's "Fourteen-day Tours of the Scottish Islands"

What, Borghild! Pining for the fjords already?

The Jorvik centre in York were under investigation for child labour

One things for sure the horse will be the right size

This is more fun than last year when we did the Battle of Hasting and we were told by the teachers to watch out so the idiot with the arrows doesn't have someones eye out.

I wonder if the Vikings came over on Flatpack boats

A quick check of the GPS confirmed they definitely weren't going to be home in time for tea.....

Well it's not as bad as i thought at least we get to dress up, I thought dad said were going on a Hiking holiday

Lara Croft's just got to Skara Brae

Have you seen what it was like on those longships? So much for Saga Cruises for the over 50s.

The new volvo advert had hit a snag! neither of them could drive.

Proof that the Vikings really came over on shortships

The Scots put on a combined ABBA / Dino Martin tribute entitled "ABBA Dean!"

Of course the Vikings were a short race - you don't grow much on a diet of Ryvita

Two young hopefuls at the Edinburgh Fringe prepare their act for the "Up Helly Aa" Comedy Award

Some said that the next generation of rioters were taking things a little too far...

To be historically accurate, I've had the motherboard replaced by a Smorgasbord

I never mentioned Nintendo. I said I want a wee.

Asgard the door, yous guard the corridor.

You've got Iceland, Furnitureland, Poundland ... but do people really want to buy Shets?

When Dad mentioned "How to Train your Dragon" I think he meant getting in Mummy's good books, not the DVD.

The history books say that Lindisfarne was the start of all the trouble,
I knew Mam and Dad were old but i didn't realize how old! they are still listening to them now.

Dad's here, but Mum's gone to Iceland

We supposed to attack, looting? Poor Olaf and his boys have gone off to attack Luton.

Of course you can't have a go, Isla. You haven't developed opposable thumbs yet.

They want us to greet the Vikings, so they asked if I knew a little Norwegian. I said yes - my sister.

Up Hell-y Aa? Its certainly no valhall-y-a!

Its Health & Safety gone mad, I tell you..

I think this satnav has a glitch; I asked for directions to Faroe not the foyer

Romeo and Cruz were less than pleased when Brooklyn, following in his parents' footsteps, also had ago at clothes designing

"Look,Eric,particularly lethal axes for those 70lbs or less,half-price!".

Dad says I’ve got to get to level four before we can get out of these stupid costumes..