Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ

What goes, black , white, black , white, pink? The Chengdu Research Base.

Sleeper by the dozen

The bear necessities

Try not to put them all together - the barcode reader at the local Tesco goes crazy

Kung shhh panda

Black-eyed peace

No, I said to book the ferry crossing with P and O

Silence is ursine

But how can they be giant pandas if they're cubs?

I just had this terrible dream that we were being bought by Cruella de Vil!
What did you dream about?
Bamboo shoots.

Feeding time is Panda-monium

Hey, Photoshop two out and it can be this week's Βι¶ΉΤΌΕΔ Magazine Monitor's Ten Things

From A to Z's

Eats shoots sleeps

Tevez effect goes viral

Another absent father! He just eats, shoots and leaves.

Keep your heads down lads, Li's already started the tunnel.

Goldilocks was confused

Hey, they've all aligned themselves North-South - they must be polar bears

And each one fits nicely into a pick-a-nick basket

What I'm saying is that if we were albino, then would that make us polar bears?

What happens when a chinchilla mates with a zebra

They're mad - they must be bipolar bears

Madonna's next adoption project.

Panda-monium revisited

Bear-a-cotta army

Having left convincing pyjama case dummies in their crib the clever little pandas used nap time to effect their escape from the research centre.

Did we really all come from that little green egg?

Who chose those bedsheets? The Pink Panda Strikes Again

What every News Channel in the World will be using as its "And finally" item today

Sanctions expected as Newcastle United are discovered to have fielded an extra player

Animal Information Fact 72: Panda cubs are a lot smaller than you think - in this picture a pea has been used as a unit of comparison.

Fiat announces new Chinese production line

Cruella de Vil decides to go into the pyjama case business

Numbers 4 and 8 the identical ones. I claim my prize

The first supply of Christmas slippers arrives at the department store.

Remember, we're all individuals.

Hands Up Whose Farted?

"What a night!" said Mama Panda. "You should see the dark patches around my eyes."

'Eat My Shoots Man'

Pandas adore Box: Suggestion that the ills of the world may be over-rated

There were 12 in the bed and the little one said Roll Over, Roll Over

I'm sure the Americans would have found something with a snappier acronym than Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding

I can't sleep, what will I do now that Harry Hill's stepped down from TV Burp?

China's cutural exchange programme started backing up now that the Tripoli, Cairo and Damascus Zoos had been closed by the recent unrest.

"Very funny!" said Daddy Panda, "So which one are my pyjamas in?"

China starts moving its currency reserves away from the Euro to the Panda standard

If the bedsheet's dye runs, they'll all be Pink Pandas

While pregnant, Mummy Panda had insisted on a diet of bamboo shoots smeared with peanut butter and strawberry ice cream

No time to write caption. Too busy looking at cute pandas.

Korean restaurants version of 'pick your dinner and we cook it on the spot'

Jack Black returns in the hilarious sequel, "Cheng Du Panda"

Kung-Fu Panda 3 : ' The Dozy Dozen'

They're all crying - they're grizzly bears!

Now they were tired, but they'd be in so much trouble when mum came home and looked for her mascara.

Well, the meal's fine, except that one pea is hardly generous

I ordered a dozen Chinese made GPS units over the internet, and this is what i got; Giant Pandas Snoring

Is this what passes for Communist "Proper Panda" these days?

"Oh, i thought you said twelve pound a baby"
- [insert celebrity]'s latest adoption plans got lost in translation.

I'm the Lone Ranger
No, I'm the Lone Ranger

shh! goes to sleeps!!
but i wanna see santy paws!!!

ther. u had a smoosh on ur face

Tragedy strikes as Chinese driver mistakes cot for zebra crossing

The maternity ward staff were told that they should panda to their every need

But one get one free

Bamboozled?

Thats him officer, the Panda that attacked me, White fur, black eyes, black ears I'd know him anywhere.

It made a real change from counting sheep

Twelve ursines of the zodiac

Said Mrs Polar Bear to Mr Polar Bear
"What do you mean 'Am I the father??'"

...one giant step for mankind?

With those eyes, Polaroid has already expressed an interest in sponsorship

If Cruella deVille did novelty slippers!

cross contamination at bear camp, leads to come awkward questions...

Zhu Zhu Sleeping Pandas
Each have their own unique personalities and phrases.
12 to collect.
One supplied.
Batteries required: 2 x AAA (included).

and you thought that identicle quintuplets would cause probelms!

Unfortunately, one of them tested positive for a bamboo allergy

This is really unbearable, please turn the light out as some of us are trying to get some sleep

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me ... twelve giant pandas, eleven ...

one wombat to another... see I told you this disguise would work!

Slipper factory

The Guide Dogs for the Blind Association tries out a fascinating experiment

After the debacle with the noodle soup guys adoption, the agency were going to be more vigilent with these cubs.

Just born - and already they're Everton supporters

The new Panda Takeaway Service was proving a great success

or even .... cross contamination at bear camp, leads to some awkward questions...

or even ... Buy one get one free!

Bear! Humbug!!

China creates a rival to "Britain's Got Talent" - "China's Got Cute!"

Depression sets in when you realise you're black but white, endangered but imprisoned, celebrity but anonymous, unique but identical!

That's the last time I ask Chan to get in a round - I definitely asked for twelve beers

The latest Fiat Panda is a bit of an animal!

They are perfect for the purpose, if they get squashed they make wonderful Zebra crossings

Chengdu sounds remarkably like the sound of a Chinese cash register - which is quite appropriate really

I'd like to give them all a bear hug

And the great thing is - they're already bear-coded!

They made a wonderful promotional calendar - unfortunately, every month looked the same

Panda Pop's happy

Even research centres are pandering to human methods of nurturing.

This was nothing compared to the Penguin in the pushchair.