Paper Monitor
13:35 UK time, Thursday, 12 May 2011
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Just when you were thinking that everything there was to say about the Duchess of Cambridge's wedding dress had been said, there is more. The that newspapers in Europe have homed in on similarities between Catherine's wedding gown and one worn by an Italian actress when she married Belgian Prince Edouard de Ligne two years ago. But the paper is having none of German newspaper BZ's "Copy-Kate" nonsense.
After scouring their picture libraries, the European media have discovered a wedding dress that bears a close resemblance to the one worn by the Duchess of Cambridge despite pre-dating it. But there is no evidence whatever that Britain's royal bride copied Isabella Orsini, an obscure Italian actress who married a minor Belgian prince in 2009. Why would she?
The Express's "exclusive" features in the Daily Mail, too, - again - to that other iconic item of royal clothing, Princess Beatrice's "barmy hat". The Phillip Treacy headwear has gained so much currency - a Facebook page and a slew of mocked-up pictures on the internet comparing it to everything from a lavatory seat to a cat flap - that it is now going to be auctioned on eBay for charity.
Charity - Paper Monitor likes it. It makes you feel warm inside, and it welcomes the news in the Daily Telegraph that in London, accompanied by a full symphony orchestra in memory of Dame Elizabeth Taylor, as part of a new tour. Plus another in Paris for an HIV/Aids charity. The article also reports that George is to take steps to try to rectify what he describes as the homophobia created by his turbulent private life.
Another happy glow as Paper Monitor learns from the Express.
Organisers of a nationwide "Happy Art Competition" say that when asked to paint a picture of what really makes them smile, most pre-teens surveyed painted pictures of flowers, rainbows and the sun - clearly they hadn't seen Princess Beatrice's hat. Of course, they were too busy playing outside to watch the royal wedding on TV - only four per cent of children who submitted entries painted themselves watching TV.
But, before Paper Monitor gets too carried away with that warm feeling inside, the same paper reports that it's folk who constantly feel cold - you know the ones that sit at their desks huddled up in their coats - that could outlive everyone else.
Scientists suspect that the hormonal changes that conserve energy and heat - by slowing down the metabolism - also extend life.
By far, the best headline of the day is The Sun 's inspired "Eee-ay-addi... Doh!". This is the story of an Afghan soldier who had been playing a friendly match at a British Army base where the FA Cup is currently on tour.
In a moment of excitement, , only to send the lid crashing to the ground and bending the pointed crown. But nothing is too much for army technicians, and the cup's tip is standing to attention once again.
The 
