ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ

Deep inside the vaults at the Vatican, the archaeologists found who really wrote the bible!

"Apparently he was the last winner of something called the 'Monitor Caption Competition'."

" 'ere where's 'is 'ard 'at?" Said the evolution 'elf (n'safety)

The Village People claim a new member.

Had Darwin been alive, ninja-hand-touch-of-death would have hastened natural selection.

As the return of the caption competition is announced, a small crowd gathers to hear the name of Darwinner

And now, a few words about how things have changed - the evolution of the speeches

The team found the last remaining passenger still waiting for the 7.46 to Paddington..

He used to write the jokes in Gordon Brown’s speeches..

Let's hope judging on the new caption competition is fair, allowing for the survival of the wittiest

"Yeah, man, I hear he wrote "On the origin of speak-easys"

Visage of the Beagle

We're shipping it off to the Galapagos Islands next time. They'll never find it there.

I see the old β€œgo and ask for a long weight” is still catching them out, eh lads?

Darwin? You sure? I thought it was that bloke from ZZ Top.

Statues have been known to Evolve over time, but a bit of effort and it can be unevolve, as shown in this statue of Chrles Darwin.

Darwin surveys the evolution of Homo Hi-visibilitius

Cadbury's are quick to cash in on the renewed interest in Charles Darwin, with the introduction of their "natural selection box"

Shortlisted Caption Competition entrants await the final selection. I'm first - naturally!

The Cap Comp judge is returned to his rightful place.


The MM staff don HSE gear ready for any ribald and invidious digs at the return of the cap comp ceremony

High above, crack troops from the Simian Liberation Army carefully moved the barrels into position..

It has been 200 years since I said that the evolutionary process can only get better for the human beings. Seing it now, I wouldn't have predicted that the human skull will evolve into technicolour helmits.

Darwin took a dim view of being egg and floured on his birthday.

The scavenger hunt was going great guns, but the lads were trying to work out how they were going to get it into the jeep.

The original 'white elephant' has been found, doing what construction workers do best.

The remnants of the "Indian Elephant's Specimen" lingers still

After 90 years, Darwin was amazed that some humans had evolved cranial exoskeletons

Smith Brothers unveils new video as part of its stealth tobacco ad campaign

The Intelligent Design snatch team were delighted with their relocation of the Darwin statue to the mens toilets

They all agreed that Darwin's attempt at self-fossilisation had proved eminently successful.

Who was Darwin buried with then..... Out comes Darwin and lo and behold Candace, Stig and Rob Falconer appear too.

Taking a page from his own book, Darwin proves his fitness by surviving the Indian elephantβ€”and without a hard hat.

Darwin doesn't seem to understand modern humour.

The only way we got the job done so fast was I told them he was the Bishop of KrakΓ³w.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Resume

Bicentenary? He doesn't look a day over 60!

Auditions for the rap opera Carry on Charles were going swimmingly

The last surviving dambuster pilot explains - 'Originally, we were going to drop stone objects on them'.

Following his success on HIGNFY, the ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ erects a statue of Brian Blessed

While everyone looked at the camera, Charles tried out his new stun-vision.

The long awaited statue of 'C Thomas of Glasgow' is finally unveiled.

What happened to the elephant? We packed it back in its trunk.

Polish builders really are as good as everyone says.

The socialist workmen were all chanting "Up the Evolution"

Workmen finally unearth the ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ Caption Competition Moderator

A selection of models for the new bicentenary range pose next to the original Lego man.

Gene didn't mind being the one to take the picture - he wasn't selfish.

After seeing the workmen around him, it sadly dawned on him that his theory of evolution needed attention.

Charles had the lads in stitches when he turned up for work "stoned"

It was on loan to Kansas, but they sent it back.

Darwin's missing links.

They had his name marked clearly on the crate, so we had to wait for it to be sent back from Northern Australia

The 4 workmen of the apocalypse

William and Kate's wedding photos were not destined for Hello magazine.

Charles felt that standards had dropped in the intervening years.

Charles was perplexed by the incongruence of construction workers in his great theory

No, I said we needed some work done on an old geyser

Magazine readers gratefully complete their statue to the elusive and mystical MM in thanks for the return of the caption comp, it will, however, remain in a dark, damp basement until the LBQ also returns.

Charles Darwin's statue is unveiled to commemorate the return of the ΒιΆΉΤΌΕΔ's caption competition

Time hadn't been kind to Harrison Ford but a statue of him as Indiana Jones was a fitting tribute.

Forget the kids' votes. The Blue Peter Team want this one in the garden.

After 81 years away from the office, not only did Charles not get the memo about the change in dress code, but someone had also nicked his desk.

Of course he looks upset. He's spent the last eighty years looking up an elephant's backside.

No, I said 'stone'. What did you think we were getting?

Proof of evolution: Darwin and the two-headed man

'At first I was afraid I was petrified. I will survive.'

The last remaining survivor of the Heathrow terminal 5 luggage collection queue is unearthed at a recent archeological dig.

Boy how we laughed when we found out that the elephant was actually a Banksy stunt.

So let me get this straight, it goes amoeba, fish, amphibian, rodent, ape, man, Health and Safety officer?

Deep in the vaults they finally found a statue of the original C Thompson from Glasgow.

And here we have the unveiling of Rodin's 'Pole Dance Patron'.

And you didn't see my lips move, eh?

Ok lads, who's going to tell him it's Dress-Down-Friday?

Caption compertion returns with strict new regulations - during photography subjects must wear hard hads and hi-vis .

'Why's 'e lookin' darn 'is nose at us, ven?' 'Sorry, mate, I fought you sed 'find vat statue an' leave nose tone unturned'.

Scientist fossilises before buidlers complete job!

OK, so who's Darwinna?

Health and safety gone mad: while no-one had ever actually seen the statue wave its arms about...

Phil Harding and his team unearth the earliest known statue of Tony Robinson

As the elephant is moved for fear it might upset certain religious factions, Darwin's statue is restored after it was hidden so as not to upset Christians

Judges at the annual Darwin Awards were taking no chances that they would unwittingly end up as one of the entrants.

"Charlie is my Darwin, my Darwin, my Darwin!"

Somehow, I feel the elephant might have been a little prettier

When they said they'd lost their marbles, I didn't think they meant this!

Tut, I'll have to take yet another photo, someone's still not smiling!

They say the creationists are after him so badly, they've put his "Wanted" picture on the back of every tenner!

I can't go with you all watching me!

The very thought of joining the sky diving team was making Charles Darwin rather pale...

The UK branch of the Village People surprise the the world as they announce Darwin as there mascot.

The writer of Freddie Starr's comedy routines is unearthed

Some of the younger viewers were happy to wait for the punchline of Ronnie Corbett's last tale.

The eventual winner surveys the runners up in this years "Who can fold your arms and not grin competition"

Rodney and chums chuckle as Del-Boy delves into the ancient statue market.

Darwin, expecting victory in the new caption contest, has his coat ready.

After weeks of being ostracised, the Golem has finally been accepted by his new workmates.

Darwin looks on aghast as he realises that humanity appears to have evolved to a level where workman cant put their helmets on the right way around


Or


The Natural History Museum's Cycling team reveals its newest member

"Where have you been" said Mr Darwin clearly not pleased. "You said that you would be back to finish the work after the Bank Holiday Monday!"

Darwin, is tatue ?

Darwin's theory of evolution culminates with British Workers... much to his chargrain

Amazing the evolution of molluscs since my day!