Your letters
17:23 UK time, Friday, 29 September 2006
What!?! Paper Monitor has another half? I thought it was just the new layout...
Anna, Northumberland
Paper Monitor reads Popbitch, how cool is that?
Lee Richards, Teesside
"No free wallchart", Paper Monitor? How about a free JPG download of a wallchart, then?
Charles, USA
On reflection perhaps it would be better if we didn't see all the losing entries for the caption competition.
Keith, Guildford
Steve asked what an "ident" was. It's what you get when you drop yer mp3 player
John, London
Right, let's put this thing to bed. Deep breath everyone...
1 tonne of crisps eaten in the UK every 3 minutes
= 20 tonnes (19,999,999.8g) per hour
= 280 tonnes crisps in 1 Olympic sized swimming pool
35g per packet of crisps
= 8,000,000 packets in swimming pool
1096 phone boxes in swimming pool
= 7299 packets per phone box
45p per packet of crisps (that about right?!)
= Β£3284.55 worth of crisps in each phone box
= Β£3,599,866.80 worth of crisps in the swimming pool
1 phone box worth Β£8,500
= Β£9,316,000 worth of phone box in the swimming pool
Total worth of swimming pool with phone boxes and crisps
= Β£12,915,866.80 per 14 hours
= Β£22,141,485.84 per day
= Β£8,081,642,331.60 (Β£8.08 billion) per year
= Β£1,414,287,408.10 (Β£1.41 billion) VAT per year to go towards the NHS to treat the unhealthy obese kids.
Can we all go home now please?
Paul, Portishead
, easy food for my cat.
Nigel Greensitt, Salford
No matter how times I read it, it still doesn't make any sense. . I've not got the time to read the story. Is it about kebabs?
Jon Cox, Hove
Regarding the use of a grill macchine: the best way to get around the obvious design flaw is to jam something under the front of it to raise it a few centimetres. This allows the fat to continue cooking your food instead of draining away all the time.
Martin C, London UK
Re. your request for formula for how widely a time-wasting e-mail must be sent before it's news.
Let E = number of newspaper editors
I = total number of e-mail inboxes
T = number of times e-mail forwarded
CC = average number of people each e-mail is copied to
S = number of potentially interesting stories that day.
Then probability = (T*CC)(1-S)/(I*E)
For the Daily Express, however, you have to add in another term: D = number of days since story about Princess Diana appeared to give:
(T*CC)(1-(S+D))/(I*E)
Valerie, Wigan, UK
In your .
You report: "Hundreds of people were told to stay indoors or leave their homes " Glad that's clear then.
Bob, Cardiff
The 
