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Can an orgasm a day keep my stress away?

A neon image of a vibrator
  • Published

I tried it out for 365 days

Contains adult themes

Like most people, I always want to improve my health and wellbeing. Last year, I decided I really wanted better skin, less stress in my life and, ideally, an all-round ‘glow’. But instead of achieving my goals by hitting the gym, or improving my diet, I thought I’d try a different technique: masturbating.

When you orgasm, your body releases the hormone oxytocin into the bloodstream. Oxytocin, typically known as the ‘love’ or 'cuddle' hormone, . No wonder then that a  exploring the experiences of over 2,600 women found that 39% of them masturbated to relax.

I resolved to orgasm every day for a year. I’d just split up with my long-term boyfriend. I was lost, broken-hearted, and my skin was a mess. I’d taken up running and given up sugar. But everything just made me feel more stressed and tired - until I had a surprisingly good one-night stand and woke up feeling great - with glowing skin.

Image caption,

She resolved to orgasm daily for a year

I’d struggled with my skin for around a year, and dermatologists had told me it was probably down to stress, a possible hormonal imbalance, and various things outside of my control. I googled, ‘Do orgasms help your skin?’, and found that, while the evidence is mainly anecdotal, there’s reason to think they do. "It's really simple — sex decreases stress, which, in turn, reduces stress hormones in the body, which helps to lower inflammation," . And less inflammation typically means less acne.

While others may rubbish this theory, I was sold. If orgasms do improve skin and stress levels, I’d definitely be a different, better person after 365 of them.

The first few weeks were fun. While I don’t always climax during sex, I know exactly how to do it alone. All I need is a fantasy and my fingers.

There was no instant improvement with my skin, but I did feel better. I would typically orgasm in bed at night, and afterwards I’d drop off to sleep immediately instead of lying in bed worrying, as I used to do. I looked forward to my new ‘me time’, and I’d often go all out with candles, music and new vibrators. 

Even my fantasies moved up a level. I stopped imagining normal sex with normal men - instead I pretended I was Cleopatra being pleasured by all my servants. My friends found it hilarious and some were even inspired to up their own orgasm quotas.

But a few months in, I started to get bored. It began to feel like a chore. Instead of putting in the effort to have wonderful, long orgasms, I started to just give myself quick, efficient ones. When I had sex with actual humans, I’d get frustrated that they couldn’t make me orgasm as quickly I could by myself.

I began to cheat, telling myself I could have days off. Masturbation was still fun sometimes - I’d occasionally get the urge to do it several times a day, and then I’d have a few orgasm-free days. But on the whole, my resolution became as tiresome as going to the gym every day. It turns out you can definitely have too much of a good thing.

By last summer, I’d managed to keep it going for almost five months. Then, I had a holiday romance that totally changed my perspective and made me see how far off-track I’d got by fixating on the resolution I’d made instead of the goals I was aiming for. This brief relationship reminded me of how fun it was to slow down during sex and enjoy the whole process - not just the climax. We had amazing orgasms together, and I started to appreciate my body in a way I hadn’t for months.

Image caption,

A holiday romance changed things

I came back home with the best skin I’d had all year, and a new resolution: instead of forcing myself to orgasm every single day, I’d aim for as many fulfilling ones as possible. The new goal was quality over quantity.

It worked. I only orgasmed about once or twice a week – and sometimes not at all - but it became fun again. I wasn’t doing it because it was a task that needed ticking off my to-do list anymore, but because of how enjoyable it was. And it paid off; I became less and less stressed.

My skin improved, I felt more tranquil and, most importantly, I learnt so much about my body. I might have failed my original resolution but I don’t care. My orgasms have changed my life in ways I never imagined. I no longer feel embarrassed asking people for what I want during sex. I don’t feel shy about sharing my fantasies, and I'm not afraid to experiment with new toys.

My orgasms have made me happier and feel healthier - which is all I ever wanted. Here’s to another 365 days.

As told to Radhika Sanghani